gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Is meaning something tangible that can be pointed to and even analyzed in some kind of scientific way?
Or is it up to each of us to decide on how it's defined?
Today, the power went out at my apartment, so I took some shrooms and D X M and went to the bar to just sit back and observe things; people; human activity.
Then when the hallucinogen/dissociative combo started wearing off, I went and got some whiskey and crack.
Now I'm sitting here, glass tube in hand, glass of whiskey in the other, and just contemplating what the fuck any of this all means.
If millions of people die every year, then what justification is there for the sanctity of life?
I'm not saying I'm an anti-social sociopath. In fact, quite the opposite. I genuinely get depressed when I think of all these people dying every day.
And where do they go?
If they return to the nothingness/abyss from whence they originated, then what, precisely, is the point in doing anything in life other than satisfying the most hedonistic urges at any given moment.
Acts of altruism are noble, and I partake in them from time to time myself, but it's a short-lived high, much like the crack or the liquor, the psychedelic or the dissociative.
If meaning has no firm foundation, then how do we avoid spinning out of control and falling right off of this planet into the abyss?
What keeps you grounded?
Maybe I can gain some tips from others, because I certainly don't have any definitive answers.
Life is a capricious beast, and I can't figure out what to make of it.
Drugs help, but they don't provide that firm foundation I seek. They're a bandaid or an ointment that merely stops the bleeding and numbs the wound for a brief time before requiring re-application.
I don't know what I expect to get from all this, but maybe confirmation that I'm not the only one existentially adrift in a world full of subatomic particles emerging to create a strange thing called "consciousness."
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gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Time for the clonazepam and alprazolam to reset for tomorrow.
It's like a cycle of work, play, think, pray, drink, spray (semen, when jerking off), and finally, say: Here comes another one.
Who else respawning tomorrow for another round? Come to think of it, this game ain't so bad if you get real good at it and learn some of the cheat codes. Just don't treat everybody like NPC's because that's called solipsism.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
