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Posts That Were Thanked by A College Professor
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2018-02-14 at 1:44 AM UTC in Explain in, graphic detail ,how you would kill the poster above you
Originally posted by Malice
This guy? A pleasure. Befriend him. Ignore all his rough mannerisms. He's such an aspie he falls right for it.
Say "hey, we should visit the Mises Institute lecture next Tuesday. Heeby Libersteinerson will be giving a lecture on "why free markets are rad with your kosher buddies". I'll drive".
I rent a car, but before setting out I go to the boot and get the bent steel wrench for taking the nuts off the wheels and put it under my seat. Go to the lecture. Listen to Malice gush about free markets. On the way back wait till Malice's enthusiasm for free markets has driven me into a homicidal frenzy. Turn off the car and put the key into my pocket. Grab the steel wrench and start trying to beat Malice with it.
The attack takes ages. Malice is a wimpy libertarian, but despite that he puts up his arms to stop me doing what I want free of government intervention. "Muh NAP" he cries. I try locking the doors, but he opens them, and jumps out. I run down the road swinging the tyre nut changing thingy. He is terrified, and has adrenaline on his side, but I finally catch up with his as a result of his awful cardio conditioning, and begin randomly beating him again with the steel nut thing.
He falls, but that makes what I am doing harder, as now he's down low. Suddenly he swings and whacks me on the side of the head with a stone he picked up from the road.
Everything goes bells, ringing and distortion, and I come to kneeling at the side of the road. I no longer have my steely nutty thing. He's a short distance away running away from me. Idiot. If he had finished the job he could have killed me, but he didn't. Was he too much of a wimp, or was it against his NAP? Either way.
I run after him, and quickly catch and jump on him. I find myself biting him, like an animal or something. A vampire. I rip him apart with my jaws. All I remember is the blood, and the flesh.
I lift the body above my head and head off road. I walk for what feels like an eternity. I throw him in a hollow, and I think I kick some clay on him. I head back to the road. I wind up just a few steps away from the car, on the other side. Somehow the key is still in my pocket.
I drive to the motel. I am blacking out. I remember running over a traffic cone. But somehow I make it. I sleep two days.
When I wake out I am covered in blood. The car is covered in blood. The engine smells of burning plastic. Somehow no one has reported any of this. Has no one seen the blood beside the road?
I change my clothes, and drive the car to an industrial area and burn it with the clothes still inside. Then I walk to the airport and fly home.
Despite being only 90 metres from a busy main road the body is only found 20 years later, and deemed by local police to belong to an illegal immigrant killed due to a drug deal gone wrong. The case isn't even investigated.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-14 at 1:43 AM UTC in i want to be a firemanThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-14 at 1:23 AM UTC in My work gave me PTSD
Originally posted by infinityshock im going to take my cock, bend you over the tailgate of my truck, and shove it
and keep on shoving it until i blow my load and your nostrils do a really good impression of niagra falls
just how you like it.
Actually its not going down like that, fucctoy. I'm going to throw you over a fence and fuck you so hard theres going to be a rammagram of your ass after I'm done with blubbery shithole you niggertard.
After making you "buuuaaahwwhw" like hank hill you're going to weep and slob all over my knob you idiot.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-14 at 1:08 AM UTC in Explain in, graphic detail ,how you would kill the poster above you
Originally posted by infinityshock you should probably consult with professional help…and get some recommendations for some good, strong medications that youre going to need to take for the rest of your life.
Originally posted by infinityshock if i ever went anywhere with you the only shooting going on would be my load into your orifice.
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2018-02-14 at 12:55 AM UTC in Explain in, graphic detail ,how you would kill the poster above you
Originally posted by stupid noob A college professor wouldn't put up much of a fight, he's a huge pussy.
Get a trailer or an apartment and fill it with lab equipment, like I was Shulgin or something. Except instead of having a real lab make it all more or less fake. Coffee pots full of food colouring, bottles of household chemicals, bubbling flasks of random liquids, etc. Invite to visit, as I had made an amazing innovation in the deamination of triethylamic terpenes or some shit like that, which has lead me to a super new class of chemicals that aren't yet regulated but get you really high.
I lead him in to my fake lab, acting all excited about my discovery to hide the nervousness. I lead him to a big pot being boiled by a bunsen burner, saying "you've got to see this" then as he is looking at the pot I grab the burner and I burn him in his eyes. He dodges too quick for me, and is barely burned, and I drop the burner, which falls against the counter and burns my legs. I don't notice, but I grab the pot, which is full of boiling oatmeal, with my bare hands and throw it on him. He is screaming and I notice my trousers have been melted into my roasting skin by the bunsen burner. It smells like burning meat.
I jump away and he is trying to hobble away, feeling his way as he is unable to see. I grab a metal stand and throw it at him. Then I grab a demijohn full of coloured water and chase him and whack him with it, and it breaks, but he's on the floor. I try kicking him but realise I am too weak, so I go for a fire extinguisher. He gets up before I can beat him with it, and I throw it at him but it does no good. He's getting away in the other direction now, and I grab a sweeping brush and beat him with it. The beating goes on for several minutes till my arms are too numb to continue, but he's on the floor and isn't getting away, which is what I want. I go to the bin and grab the bag I and wrap it, still full of rubbish, around his head and sit on his torso until I am sure he must be dead.
As I stagger to my feet I realise his girlfriend is standing in the doorway, looking at me. I try to catch her, but I am too tired. She runs out to her car and away.
Rather than waiting for the police I go to a drawer and find a cheap pistol I bought of a local vibrant youth and shoot myself in the heart. Oh shit, I realise that was the wrong side, and I just shot myself in the liver. I shoot myself twice more, randomly this time, and one of them must hit something vital, as I feel the sleepiness.
As I am dying I think to myself I should have tried shooting myself twice in the back of the head, just to troll the conspiracy-tards on niggasin.spaceThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-14 at 12:35 AM UTC in i want to be a fireman"VICTIM of farm equipment "
Noob, what happened. You get your balls cut off in the tractor while cutt'n wheatThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-14 at 12:19 AM UTC in Explain in, graphic detail ,how you would kill the poster above you
Originally posted by A College Professor
I'd go to his apartment, then start a fight with him. Shove him, then when he shoves me back I pull out a little scalpel and stab him with it in the neck. He beats the shit out of me as I stab him, and I wind up covered in blood. I lose the scalpel and run to his kitchen, as he is weak from blood loss and trying to stop the bleeding. Grab a big knife from the kitchen and go back and stab him a bunch more times in the stomach. Then grab my friend, who witnessed all this, and drive away. Get caught later, and spend 17 years in prison.
Originally posted by infinityshock
Go target shooting with him, then when he walks up to the range accidentally shoot him in the back of the head. Miss, and shoot him in his shoulder instead. He's flopping around cursing me so I go up and shoot him a bunch of more times. Throw away the gun and make a getaway.
The body is found 3 days later, and due to incompetent local sherrifs mixing up case numbers no evidence is found linking me to the scene. Never hear about it again, but occasionally wake up in a panic because of nightmares that they have found a new witness or new mobile phone tracking data tying me to the site.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-14 at 12:19 AM UTC in Alright, so tell me about the jedis.I'm locking this thread
"Alright, so tell me about the jedis"
The jedi's need not tell you anything. They don't owe any explanations
good day to you sirs, good day indeed.
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2018-02-13 at 11:37 PM UTC in The Autism Quotient Test - Everyone here should seriously take it.I am pretty sure I used to be autistic, but at some stage I transcended autism and became to an autiste what an autiste is to a normies. I am therefore a meta-autiste, an autist's autist.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-13 at 1:45 PM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.Funniest stand up ever.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-02-13 at 5:44 AM UTC in Alright, so tell me about the jedis.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-13 at 3:52 AM UTC in "The three words she wants to hear"I made lasagna.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-13 at 1:38 AM UTC in Is -SpectraL mentally ill?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-12 at 11:59 PM UTC in Multi-Quote?Lanny refuses to admit his software is shit. You know who DOES have multiquote? Newtotse.comThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-12 at 9:37 PM UTC in Give me ideas. If they're good, I'll draw them in MS paint.Draw a bunch of feces. Just like, so much feces.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-12 at 9:36 PM UTC in Give me ideas. If they're good, I'll draw them in MS paint.Draw like two Cowboys at Sundown in a standoff in the town square and there's a horse in the background like "don't miss!.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-12 at 2:54 PM UTC in Ugh, there's a Ted Bundy movie coming out starring Zac Efron.i feel like i've seen this thread 5 time and it aint do be fly anymoreThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-12 at 7:27 AM UTC in does everyone here use meth?stupid noob is your quintessential kentucky derpy gimpThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-12 at 5:35 AM UTC in does anyone know anyone who has died from slipping in the shower?Bill the car only knows about dropping the soap in the shower while he waddled his fat cheeks that were clean for a pounding.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-02-12 at 5:19 AM UTC in tfw spent my weekend in withdrawals
You don't know the meaning of withdrawal, bitch.
You are the new Vizier.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
