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Posts That Were Thanked by RisiR †
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2018-09-09 at 1 PM UTC in I just wanna hang out with RisiR and mQWe could get fucking RUINED drunk and get a shitload of face tattoos and we'll all pile into a walrus dick purple Mitsubishi Gallant, but in the backseat. I'll lean over the seat and place a cinder-block on the accelerator and we'll have a fucking disco ball in the back and shit and we'll be passing the bottle and the crack stem back and forth and then RisiR leans over and jerks the car into gear and with a powerful motion and fury, the car catches traction and takes off. We're just bangin out in the back seat like a buncha thugs, drinkin liquor and smokin crack, no seat belt on because we're bosses, and the car is rapidly accelerating to over 100MPH when it veers off the road and slams into a ditch, ejecting all three of us through the windshield and scattering us throughout a field. We call out to each other, through a mouth of blood, "D-d-duuudes? *hack, vomit, spit* it hurts bad man!" and then we all EXPIRE in the field.
That's what I want -
2018-09-09 at 6:54 AM UTC in Perm delete FacebookThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-09 at 5:10 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by -SpectraL I've been through 10X the hell you've been through, and I'm still alive. You haven't seen anything yet, kid.
Can you take this somewhere else/some other time?
We're discussing real life here, when we're in the mood for Totse Tall Tales from the Taggart Trailer we'll let you know, we promise -
2018-09-09 at 2 AM UTC in Kavanaugh to be ImpeachedI thought that said bigtoed losers at first and laughed out loud
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2018-09-09 at 12:33 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionWell, fuck.
I went up to the counter at Walgreens, and this cute Asian girl, probably around 25, comes up to the counter.
"Hey, how may I help you?"
"I need to get some insulin syringes. 29 gauge, 50 units"
"Do you have a prescription?"
"I don't have it with me."
Never in my life has a simple look changed my mood. Normally if someone gives me a shitty look, I just think "lol fuck you too buddy" and go on my way.
But there was something different about this one. This one got me. I was in a pretty good mood too, which is rare. It totally drained me. Maybe she was a witch.
She went to the back, got my shit and checked me out, all without looking at me again.
It seems to be at the discretion of the pharmacists whether you get those without a prescription or not, so at least I got my shit, but I paid for it with part of my soul. At least that shows that there's SOME humanity left, which is a good thing I guess.
Yeah yeah I'm a pussy blah blah but honestly, I've never known the power that looks can have until now.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-08 at 11:44 PM UTC in Perm delete Facebookshe is litterally ottisticThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-08 at 11:28 PM UTC in Best of Bill KrozbyI was searching for something and came across a funny Bill Krozbypost, so I took a minute to cobble together the Best of Bill Krozby.
Originally posted by Bill Krozby I was molested when I was 5 years old
i have 2 felonies
I dated this lady that was 10 years older than me last year
I was yelling "what the fuck!" and this asian bitch nurse came up and was like "you're handcuffed because you tried to fight the cops"
I actually did a jock strap basket ball shoot for a guy once and came
i have the others herpes
I quit paying child support, partially because i didn't have much attachment to my kid
So now I'm trying to normalize my drinking because I'm obviously an alcoholic
I was arrested for sexual assault.
he tells me to take off my clothes or else he's not going to give me the money, I go ahead and undress
I was molested
luckily i never cared about my daughters mom
several times when I was 19 I had guys comeover and pay me to watch me fuck my girlfriend, ,one guy even touched my balls while i was doing it… One time I made 300 to let a guy take pictures of me nude while he smoked crack.
I WAS MOLESTED!
Post your favorite Bill Krozbyposts.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-08 at 11:01 PM UTC in I've been down 4 so long.Shits looking up. Thank everyone who wished me well. I think Doug put the energy into the universe for me to have a good night last night & tonight.
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2018-09-08 at 10:43 PM UTC in Scientists Warn the UN of Capitalism's Imminent DemiseniggerThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-08 at 10:34 PM UTC in Alex Jones/Infowars has been deleted from youtubeDamn Communist Chinese.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-08 at 9:51 PM UTC in I shook Donald J. Trumps hand, and it gave me strength and staminaSo I was paying attention to the campaign, watching his rallys every night on stream.
I check his schedule and low and behold he's coming to my town! I was like oh hell yeah this is gonna be sweet I'm gonna see him in person.
So I get up hella early and the friends I was supposed to go with bailed on me, but that wasn't gonna stop me I was gonna go by myself.
I get at UNCW like....3-4 hours early in the burning sun, and there are already a few hundred people in line.
Luckily a lone dude around my age strolls up behind me, decked out in FULL Trump attire. MAGA hat, Trump shirt, pins, the whole deal.
He was by himself so I strike up a conversation something like "dude nice Trump gear. Are you ready this is gonna be legendary". He was like "hell yeah man I drove 2 hours to get here. My friends all bailed on me but I didn't care I was coming." I was like "Hey my friends bailed on me last minute too! Well fuck em' we're more dedicated to the movement" and so on.
So there's shenanigans in line, got a video of a dude riling up the line, anti-trump people selling knockoff hats and pins and stuff.
I was kinda bummed we weren't going to get closer but the line was INSANE behind us so I figured we'd get a decent seat.
While we're standing we all move up some and I see secret service, dogs, all types of security. I'd forgotten I'd had like 3 Suboxone strips and some etizolam tucked away in my wallet. FUCK I ain't losing my place in line, so I ask my newfound buddy to hold my place and I haul ass back to my car and drop off the goods.
I run back and maybe an hour later its GO TIME. They start slowly letting people in.
Its our turn and I think I had to empty pockets or go through metal detector or something, and we get in the stadium and stand behind a small crowd that gathered around the rails. There are 2 sets, a VIP right up front, and then one with the general crowd.
Well my dude was brainstorming on how to get in VIP, as we didn't see ticket options or anything. We walked around and he asked some guys from Trumps campaign how you got to get in that area. Long story short since he was 100% Trump decked out, the guys from the campaign handed him a shitload of "Make America Great Again" and "The Silent Majority Stands with Trump" signs and ask him to put them all on the seats that were a level up where the people would be on camera behind Trump. He handed me half the signs and agreed but said "Yeah man we can do that, but let your guys know to let us in VIP" and the guy agreed.
OH YEAH! So we navigate our way to the upper area. I'm kinda nervous cause I see the crowd growing and if something falls through we'd end up way farther back than original. But we haul ass and lay a sign on every seat and get back down to the crowd. He went to the guy guarding VIP entrance and the dude was like naw you guys don't have a pass, so some original confusion but we found the dude who agreed and he waived to the dude to let is in.
SCOREEEEE Were in awe fucking middle front literally like 10 ft away the podium.
I was fat at the time (I know hard to imagine with my current muscular state) and had some redneck looking facial hair but you can see me pictured here, and then in the longer distance photo
And the picture has Rudy Juliani but as you see Trump posted it, and thats how far away we were. Dude in the blue shirt was my buddy I met and who essentially got me the opportunity to shake Trumps hand.
So the whole thing was awesome, got better position than I ever thought I would, shook the mans hand, which as I said I felt a little bit of his near unlimited strength and stamina, the same which was used to defeat low-energy Hilary.
I hope to find my photos and video of him walking by. I'm sure I still have them on an old phone but its pissing me off cause obviously those are photos I made sure I had. I was trying to a video of me shaking his hand but secret service was very aggressive and basically keeping everybodys hands down around him. After me and my dude shook his hand we look at each other, double hi-five and screamed "OH MY GOD WE SHOOK HIS HAND OHHH YEAHH THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER WOOOO"
We exchanged numbers so we could send each other the pictures we got. I still have his number I believe I should hit him up ask how he's Making America Great Again and stuff.
And I still have my sign to this day
And dats da story of how a nigga like me shook the most powerful man in the world's hand
So keep Making America Great Again, fellow niggasThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-08 at 9:16 PM UTC in You wannabe social rejects bore me...
Originally posted by RisiR † No to both questions. I was close to picking up the entire collection but didn't for some reason. Pretty sure it was because they didn't have the first book in the series and I wanted to start with that because OCD.
Can you recommend one of the books in particular?
The traditional order is to read the two collections of short stories (The Last Wish and Sword of Destiny) before starting the "saga" books starting with Blood of Elves, but honestly I'd recommend skipping them and starting with BoE. In the short story collection you learn how Geralt meets some of the supporting cast for the first time (which is kind of refreshing given they just show up in the games) and get some lore but nothing essential. You also sit through some cringey sequences that don't really build up to anything more than "gee wizz, Geralt is cool", and the political elements of the world are really de-emphasized as the serial format discourages any hard continuity.
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2018-09-08 at 7:14 PM UTC in I was stung by a jellyfish for the first time in my life yesterday
Originally posted by playingindirt actually you lucked out that it got you while you were moving. It would have been much worse if you had been standing still. the tentacles would have been all up your and down your leg and probably your other leg too.
I've heard this.
When I see them washed up on the beach they always just look like stumpy fuckers. I mean I read alot about coastal sea creature but I didn't think they had tentacles that expand and wrap. Granted there are different types. I remember as a kid there was some migration of jellyfish and they looked like hamburgers looking down from the peir and there were fucking hundreds of em. Scared the shit outta me. I see the one pictured below wash up on shore alot
oops wrong pic
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL I grew up near the ocean my entire life. You feel a sting you swim.
Maybe I'm just a bitch then but when I felt that shit my ass started running
Originally posted by ohfralala I wouldn’t let Donald Trump touch me with a bag full of money attached to a 10 ft pole. Fucking barf.
Not sure if I've bragged on this, but I made it to Donald Trumps Twitter page, AND got to shake his fuckin' hand :) -
2018-09-08 at 7:05 PM UTC in Just got fired from my new jobI remember he just brought it up out of nowhere too, and I kind of felt bad for himThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-08 at 7:03 PM UTC in Perm delete FacebookThe Matrix was actually a documentary about a mild mannered computer programmer trying to delete his facebook.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-08 at 6:03 PM UTC in Can't find a profile imageThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-08 at 6:01 PM UTC in Can't find a profile imageWhy is the requirement for my avatar so small I can't find a 75 by 75 picture anywhereThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-08 at 5:31 PM UTC in I was stung by a jellyfish for the first time in my life yesterdayI wouldn’t let Donald Trump touch me with a bag full of money attached to a 10 ft pole. Fucking barf.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-09-08 at 5:13 PM UTC in List the most common drugs you've never tried
Originally posted by RisiR † I don't think it's permanent. Most things in life aren't. Receptor function included. I'm only three weeks sober so I don't sweat it.
I've heard of botched piercing attempts that caused severe nerve damage that somehow fixed itself after ten years.
I had surgery when I was a kid. It left a massive scar about a foot long.
At first the entire area along the scar was completely and totally numb. For years it felt like nothing. Then slowly it began to feel again. More and more. And now today it is hardly numb. I have most feeling back. Don't get those weird sharp nerve pains anymore.
Always amazes me to think about. The body is so unbelievably amazing at repairing itself, but humans continually find new ways to challenge that.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-09-08 at 5:07 PM UTC in Just got fired from my new jobI'm Bill Krozbyes kids step dad now. I'm telling her what a bastard her dad and telling her her daddy showed her how to give a blowjob wrong. What kind of bastard tells his daughter to use teeth?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
