I'm joking about the hard drugs. Panny should know better. But I might have to make a one time exception for the legendary cell phone ass prison smuggler.
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Once I was drunk as fuck and went to take a piss in the toilet of the pub - I went into the cubicle and stood over a beef patty. lol I thought to myself, why would anybody bring a burger into the toilet
As I took my dick out to piss, I also farted slightly - the smell of shit began to linger around my nostrils and I was taken aback by what I thought was my cute little innocent fart - I pissed triumphantly while deeply inhaling my creation - what a guy, what a moment, what a life
As I put my dick away, I looked down at the beef patty again - I adjusted my monocle and upon closer inspection I realised I was standing over and inhaling the fumes of a huge stepped on shit - somebody else's shit, a foreign shit, the shit of an other
There's no big reveal or climax or anything interesting. I just wanted to tell you guys this story. Watch out and stay safe
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Originally posted by mmQ
That's not very nice. Did they make a bizarre clucking sound when you did it or how did they respond?
Well, I was just curious to see their reaction. You know, kids. And yes they did, and started to run away like crazy chickens. No one died though. They were some badass chickens.
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Honestly, I've done a lot of fucked up things in my life, many illegal, but one thing has always stuck with me in particular (not trolling)
8 years old. Vladivostok. My mother took me to visit an old lady (family friend), perhaps 80 years old whose husband had just died. She was all alone in this big empty house and I remember thinking about Final Fantasy VIII (I had already emigrated to England a year ago but we returned for a few weeks) and how hot Squall looked and I really wished I looked like him (plot twist: I look better and I'm a 9/10)
The house had an office filled with books, hundreds and hundreds of them, and I remember the old lady saying something about not knowing what to do with all her husband's stuff because their son and daughter would have no use for them
Back then I had this weird habit of building up saliva in my mouth and then spitting it all out. It was so satisfying - I always tried to beat my previous record and see if I could make myself salivate until my mouth was totally full and I looked like a hamster. Sometimes I envisioned my mouth being filled with so much saliva it would pop and everything would burst out like a water balloon
I sneaked into the old lady's dead husband who fought in WW2's office and was looking through these old books, building up saliva in my mouth as I went. As I was flicking through The Master and the Margarita by Bulgakov the urge to spit was unbearable and I spat out what must have been about 100ml of spit right into the middle of the book and quickly shut it, the spit dripping out the sides of the pages, and I shoved it back into the shelf between all the other books. I suddenly got scared as if the old man's ghost would appear next to me and I ran out to go be with my mum and the old lady. I couldn't even look at her. I was disgusted with myself and to this day I still feel incredibly guilty
That was the last time I had ever done the saliva thing and to this day I feel uncomfortable looking at the cover or simply reading the title of The Master and the Margarita
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Originally posted by Hikikomori-Yume
Real "aliens" would have no need to come to our planet and troll us with flashing lights and they certainly would not come here in a physical form or space ship of any sort.
if I had a spaceship I'd troll this planet
riddle me that fucker
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horror movies appeal to those at the lower end of the IQ spectrum.
horror is the most primeval, basic human feeling and one does have to have pretty low IQ to be horrified by sequences of images they knew are not real to begin with.
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Yah I didn't think so ,you bitch-made tosser. One hit and your'e down for the count, why don't you stick to slapping your mom around ,bitch, you are out of your fucking league. Maybe stay in the RETARDED THREAD ( the one place you are qualified to post ) and quit trying to derail my baller-ass thread by bringing your faggot presence around.
I eat little turds like you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so keep it moving lil bromo!
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