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Posts That Were Thanked by NARCassist

  1. 2018-05-04 at 6 AM UTC in Talking to my gf about having a kid
    HampTheToker African Astronaut
    For the love of God, please don't.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. 2018-05-04 at 4:09 AM UTC in Who is weirder?
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    At this point it seems relatively equal. There's a reason those of you who have stayed, have, ya know..stayed.

    You and me? I'm leaning me but I've known me a lot longer too.

    Answer me these two questions it'll help me learn.

    1. Your dad. What's his electronic mailing address?

    2. Do rainbows exist objectively?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. 2018-05-03 at 8:01 PM UTC in What are your primary motivations in life?
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    Yeah. Archer would definietly be the poppa and Bill Krozby the mommy. 😄
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. 2018-05-03 at 3:25 PM UTC in NARCassist v. NiggasIn.Space, first round of subpoenas: click to learn if you’re being sued
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Operating in my capacity as an officer of the court, I have determined that issuing the initial subpoenas via public announcement is the most appropriate and expeditious way to begin proceedings. Each of them has been filed through the NIS 5th circuit court, where we shall officially condemn libelous claims and defamation aimed at the plaintiff, and interruption of commerce, for which we will be seeking compensatory damages. The offending statements have been documented in spoilers beneath each defendant's name.

    I expect all of you will have responded to this round of subpoenas within five business days, or I will request that the judge (a personal friend of mine) hold you in contempt and fine you $500 for each day of noncompliance. Your court date will be Saturday, May 12. Please arrive at 8 AM CST.

    The following users are implicated in this summons:

    LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery: You made more false accusations against my client than everybody else combined, and you fabricated statements to damage his business relationships. I’m not sure we can even accept a settlement, given the circumstances. Destroying you will serve as a message to libelous anarchists the world over.



    mmQ: You falsely propagated the rumor that my client is guilty of a crime for which he has never been charged, and additionally, you tried to sweep it under the rug. This is significant, and you need a lawyer.


    Note: You can’t file motions as a defendant, mmQ. I can’t charge you for it myself, but one hint of resistance and I’ll be calling in a favor with the DA’s office to hit you for obstruction. Are you prepared for a long and costly legal battle? Or would you prefer to settle, and put this to rest now? I promise that you won’t win if this goes to trial. I’d choose the less painful option if I were in your position.


    ohfralala: You presumed my client’s guilt, and you published a statement circulating a series of vicious rumors on a message board, facilitating a conspiracy against my client and permanently damaging his reputation. I’m going to see to it that you pay dearly.



    POLECAT: I don’t think there’s legal precedence for what you’ve done, but it is so wrong and utterly opposed to justice and human nature that I foresee new case law in the making after we’re done murdering you on the stand.



    HTS: You fabricated two statements from my client and published them on a message board to assassinate his moral character.



    Nil: You published a fictional account of my client’s life that ultimately assisted in the circulation of malicious lies about his business practices.



    Lanny: In your case, this can be as simple as providing a witness testimony. You don’t have to come into court necessarily, as long as you cooperate and demonstrate remorse and provide me with the IP addresses of users named in this motion as well as a sufficient plan to penalize them as forum administrator with suitable penalties to be approved by my firm. Failure to comply will earn you contempt and a fine, and we furthermore, we will expect to see you in court at the scheduled time.

    HampTheToker: Issued upon user request. Since you seem to enjoy litigation from any side, please consider our firm for representation in the future.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. 2018-05-03 at 8:31 AM UTC in people who demand trivial things be cleaned before being returned
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Zanick You should write "ERASE ME, CUNT" on the board that she's used to using and then record her reaction from across the library when she goes to use it.

    back in high school, it was first period and there was a tiny penis drawn in the corner of the blackboard. the teacher angrily erased it and continued with the class.
    first period next day, again there was a small penis in the bottom left hand corner of the blackboard, slightly bigger this time. teacher angrily rubs it off.
    this goes on for 2-3 days with gradually larger penii, until she comes in one morning to 'IT JUST GETS BIGGER WHEN YOU RUB IT' written across the blackboard
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. 2018-05-03 at 3:40 AM UTC in This is the kind of person that should post here.
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    Originally posted by HampTheToker Wasn't it rust that had a porn star dressed as a clown for an avatar way back when…?

    Who's gonna post it first?


    I don't think this is the one, but it was one from this set.
    https://imgur.com/gallery/a0V7d
    Lexi Belle was so hot back in the day
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  7. 2018-05-03 at 1:03 AM UTC in Where have you gone, Karen?
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by -mal- I use to think you were just ignoring Zanick’s calls to you. Now I’m wondering if you’re in some kind of trouble? You can reach me on the mal-phone if you want to talk about it.

    Com back soon, Karen!

    What's your major mal-phone-ction, private?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  8. 2018-05-03 at 12:29 AM UTC in NARCassist's 12345th post and the release of the logs
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Originally posted by NARCassist yeah but you all been giving hydro grief about it for months and she's been laughing at all yo.



    .

    I didn't post in those threads at all

    Congrats though
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  9. 2018-05-03 at 12:25 AM UTC in Former DH users, tell us about where you used to post?
    HTS highlight reel
    Originally posted by NARCassist it was fentanyl




    .



    Originally posted by NARCassist [Speech 100] oh actually i don't know what it was, they haven't had the inquest yet. something like fentanyl i woulda thought tho. probably like anyway.



    .

    Smooth.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. 2018-05-02 at 11:14 PM UTC in NARCassist's 12345th post and the release of the logs
    BeigeWarlock African Astronaut
    who is Hydro?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. 2018-05-02 at 10:56 PM UTC in My next post will be number 12345
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. 2018-05-02 at 5:30 PM UTC in What are you listening to right now, space nigga?
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    Creep- radiohead
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. 2018-05-02 at 2:31 PM UTC in What do you do in the mornings
    Daily an(nu)ally [dissolutely whisk the pantheon]
    I wake up and immediately think "ugh fuck I didn't die"

    I shimmy to the bathroom in an effort to wake myself up but usually piss all over the toilet seat and my own feet. If my water bottle is empty I will simply flick my dick towards my face and piss in my own mouth for hydration

    I put on uplifting music such as penderecki's threnody that booms throughout the whole apartment while I get ready frequently kissing my own reflection in the mirror because I'm a 9/10

    I drink a double whiskey with my hard boiled eggs and salad while reading several epidemiology journals in preparation to pester everybody I meet that day on why what they're eating is bad. I drink another double whiskey and I'm usually in the car by 8 15
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  14. 2018-05-02 at 7:46 AM UTC in Jacking off to a 14 year old girl
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    What?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. 2018-05-02 at 4:38 AM UTC in Jacking off to a 14 year old girl
    TheDarkTriad Yung Blood
    .
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  16. 2018-05-02 at 4:19 AM UTC in What are you listening to right now, space nigga?
    Rock_N_Rollover African Astronaut [my obsessively old-time raunch]
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. 2018-05-02 at 4:19 AM UTC in So it begins. This is how the kikes will do "basic income".
    Eval/Apply Recursed
    Originally posted by Hikikomori-Yume VR is a medium

    Yeah, and broadcast television is a medium. That doesn't mean it isn't controlled by a small set of large corporations where the barrier to entry is high enough that it's a near monopoly.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. 2018-05-02 at 12:05 AM UTC in Jacking off to a 14 year old girl
    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    hey, I don't think that's fair, legal age of consent is 16 in lots of states, I just have a weakness for 19 year olds
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  19. 2018-05-01 at 11:16 PM UTC in Post your shower routine
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    So an old guy on parole that does heroin turned down my pee? Fml
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  20. 2018-05-01 at 10:19 PM UTC in ask lala
    Sh0ppingqueen Yung Blood
    Narc ur my buddy.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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