User Controls
Posts That Were Thanked by CASPER
-
2019-03-12 at 4:13 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..
Originally posted by CASPER Still better than most days, although tbh this Malice shit put a serious fucking damper on my week
I could tell last night as soon as you found the report.That and my step-grandpa dying.
I’m sorry dude.And finding out that all the friends I can't get ahold of are in jail awaiting trial on serious charges.
I can see how that can make you feel bad for your dudes. But, I can also see how that can make you feel really good!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-12 at 3:53 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
He posted selfies a few times.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-12 at 3:18 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER It might be from Square. As far as I know, only the company has my bank records which have my actual info.
Yeah $smerk310
Going to make a new btc wallet while I'm at work.
Alright I sent you 10.
I hope malice would've felt at least some joy or pride in the fact that people cared enough to think about him this long. It's sad, but I think we'll miss him more than his family ever did. They didn't seem to treat him very well at any point in his life.
Goddamn though.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-12 at 8:38 AM UTC in Where is the line between being a junkie and not?He will hold you in His arms and give you strength and shitThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
-
2019-03-10 at 6:11 PM UTC in Random image thread
-
2019-03-10 at 3:57 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER Yeah I'm reading through the "partners" thread on that site right now. God I just want to give them all a hug. Our brains are collaborators and conmen. When you're mentally ill, you have to treat your own thoughts like the enemy. I get it. I've been there. I wanted to do a huge post over these, but I'd probably just get banned for being "pro life". I have no doubt plenty of people have it worse than I do, but I've seen some shit. And I may spiral down again and get strung out and finally dig up the glock and catch that faggotty, no-balls, weepy victim midnight train to Georgia. But I stuck it out because I was too much of a pussy to go through with it, and addiction left me with too animal an instinct to concern myself with thoughts much higher than getting a fix. And now I feel better. And it scares me how easy it was to fall into that. I still don't know what changed. Nothing is too different. But life goes on, shit changes. Sometimes even really fucked up people get better.
I think everyone has the right to end their own life if it becomes unbearable. But I also think that 90% of the time, it's self pity and a cry for help. We want people to know that we hurt. That we're angry, we want them to know how MUCH we hurt. The ironic thing is that depression makes anything feel unattainable, too much work, just not enough. And in most people's cases, you really just have to break through that anyway. Connect to another person, do something meaningful. Be willfully optimistic, despite whatever you have going on. Set small goals. Malice just didn't really want to try, that's what made me angry. But I've been there so I can't blame him too much.
Malice asked me a ton of times to be his partner. Sometime she I wonder if I'd have lied to him, if I'd have made him believe that he had someone else that miserable, maybe he'd have hung around long enough to weather whatever autistic nonsense he was going through at the moment *shrug*
Anyway…you don't think there's another autistic dude with family issues who bought Nembutal and liked anime? Rofl. I think that probably describes hundreds of thousands of people on the internet right now. I don't remember him having any kind of disability with his feet.
Neither do i, the part about having some disability other than autism.
Anyway, maybe you're right, or maybe you're in denial. The fact is we know malice was suicidal, we know he had a quantity of lethal drugs he kept as an exit plan we know we haven't heard from him in a long while. If you're out there malice, you're a dick for making us think you're dead, but that's nothing to kill yourself over. I'll have you know.
I read the thread, closed the laptop, cried a single manly tear, and had a beer for me and one for the homies.
So long space nigga... -
2019-03-10 at 3:39 PM UTC in Where is the line between being a junkie and not?I don't think this holds any weight but i have determined myself not to be a junkie because i be givng away free drugs.
-
2019-03-10 at 1:30 PM UTC in General ChatThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
-
2019-03-10 at 1:06 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
Originally posted by CASPER Ditto.
Drugs weren't the problem in and of themselves. They just seem to put me in a stasis where it's so easy to lose time. When I thought I was stupid and useless and fucked up, it didn't really make any difference to me. Now that I know "I" am still here, and that I'm still good at a lot of things, I feel like I don't want to waste any more time. I stopped talking to friends I've known for 15 years. I just want to constantly be moving forward…even if it's just a tiny bit at a time. I want the people around me to do well too, and I want them to reciprocate the energy and time I give them. Case in point…the girl I've been talking to for a year and a half or so. She's got multiple degrees in chemistry and literature, she's got good taste and she's a musician and actress, model. She's nerdy and kind of quiet. But she's also rich and spoiled. She flakes on commitments, and then plays the victim card when someone calls her on it. She only really puts in effort when she thinks she's being ignored or disliked….which is a completely fucked cycle to get into. I basically told her that I might have put up with that shit when I was sad and mopey and strung out, but now that i feel good and revitalized, I'm completely ambivalent. I genuinely hope she does well, and I'd love to spend time with her, but if she doesn't get her shit together, I'm just going to cut off all contact. I want people around me that make me feel good, and where I can be myself, and work towards great new shit.
Good to hear Casper, I hope you do carry on proceeding forward. It's sad hearing about people who have so much potential but do fuck all with it. A lot of people seem "content", that's both bad and good. By all means if that person is happy with what they have then so be it, you could always say they're more happy than we will ever be cause we're striving to achieve said happiness. It's as if they've finished their chaotic journey and arrived.
We're still trying to find a way to get there.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-10 at 10:44 AM UTC in Random ThoughtsMongolian Hip Hop is best Hip Hop...
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-09 at 11:50 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition"That man of loneliness and mystery, scarce seen to smile, and seldom heard to sigh."
RIP faggit'
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-07 at 5:13 AM UTC in OFFICIAL Cool Kids Club registryThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
-
2019-03-06 at 9:05 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by CASPER The more I learn about myself and life, I realize that everyone I know is addicted to something or other. Some people it's love. Some people it's cigarettes. Some people it's pride or money or accolades. Some it happens to be opiates or cocaine. But I don't need to feel like a lost a chunk of my life. Addiction isn't inherently negative. It's can be the cocoon, a gestational period. If I go on to live a more balanced, accepting, full experience…then it actually was worth it.
Greateful for all the big shit that's happened to me.
No police raid-> no rehab
No rehab/breakthorugh -> no development
No development-> no life worth livingThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-06 at 8:57 PM UTC in Where is the line between being a junkie and not?
Originally posted by Sophie Yeah even when i was in the worst withdrawals of my life during the time i was addicted to fentanyl, i could have called up a guy, pawned some of my stuff and gotten heroin instead. But i didn't. There was one time in the couple of weeks it took me to get better, after like a week and a half or so, when i was having mostly PAWS, that i got a gram of coke to take the edge of, and i just paid for that out of pocket. I was never really impressed with coke but that night it certainly did the trick, it gave me the respite to follow on through to the end of it.
The only time I've ever pawned something was to buy my first strip of LSD lol
I know a certain someone who once pawned her fridge for money. That was something. -
2019-03-06 at 7:52 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
-
2019-03-06 at 4:37 PM UTC in Uber backup driver criminally liable for self-driving car mowing down jedi.
-
2019-03-06 at 7:19 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionWent and saw leftover crack and days/daze show. Shit was mad good.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
-
2019-03-04 at 7:58 PM UTC in Random image thread
-
2019-03-04 at 10:30 AM UTC in Where is the line between being a junkie and not?Maaan my area has lost a lot of people. Stay strong guys. There's people out here pulling for you that don't even know you. Remember that.
-
2019-03-04 at 3:41 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionYo casper that is an amazing amount of weight loss. Good job.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
