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Posts That Were Thanked by CASPER
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2019-03-14 at 5:31 PM UTC in Where is the line between being a junkie and not?
Originally posted by -SpectraL It's just yet another one of Lanny's stupid kidiot games, which merely serves to screw up people's posts and fuck with their content. Not funny at all, like he intends it to be. Basically just annoying, and it creates a lot of unnecessary edits, and leaves threads behind which end up making no sense to those who come to read them later. The kid thinks he's being funny, but he just ends up being bothersome.
Is it dangerous speckles?
Sing alongDangerous
Conroy Smith
DANGEROUS LYRICS
[Intro]
Mister Dangerous
Original dangerous
Danger!
Danger!
[Refrain]
Dangerous
I am dangerous
Ey
Dangerous
I am dangerous
Ey
In God who I put my trust
Yeah
[Verse 1]
And when the sun come shine
And the rain come fall
I am dangerous
Ey
And when the moon at night
And it shine so bright
I am dangerous
Ey
And when I go to a dance
And the dancehall ram
I am dangerous
Ey
An' if a singer come test
Want come jump in my chest
I am dangerous
Ey
[Refrain]
Dangerous! Yeah ey
Musically dangerous
Yeah ey
Dangerous! Yeah ey
I am dangerous
Yeah ey
[Verse 2]
An' when I go to a stage
An' the stage hall ram
I am dangerous
Ey
An' when the drummer play
And the bass man play
I am dangerous
Ey
.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-14 at 4:06 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..pretty good,, I just scored my new job today,, it should last through next fall,, its with a stoner crew doing landscaping and property maintenance,, up to 7 days a week if I want,, I'm gonna get my old Dodge painted Purple ASAP!
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2019-03-13 at 5:46 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by hydromorphone You know, it just hit me that Malice REALLY is gone… like… I knew he was gone. I knew it in my heart of hearts he went through with it… like, I felt a disturbance in the force or some shit, but to KNOW, without that sliver of doubt being there, that little "maybe I'm wrong… I don't think I am, but I hope so…" really hits hard.
I was in a nursing home, not having access to WiFi for what seemed an eternity when BPHR read to me Malice's post. I immediately began crying. I nearly lost it… I knew then there was nothing I could do but I so desperately wanted to.
I don't know now that I want to "save" Malice, but I just wish I could have helped his suffering… I guess because I suffer so similarly… I wish someone would save me or just put me out of my misery.
I've learned one thing, love is really the only thing that matters. When it boils down, that's all we really want. I think that's what Malice wanted, but was too afraid to find. Hell, even for me, intimacy is a scary thing. I don't blame him. Honestly, if I had any sense, I should be just as frightened of it as he was. It hurts. It scars like no other.
I miss Malice a lot. I miss talking to him, asking him advice… the guy helped me A LOT, and I really appreciate the time he took. I wish I could have helped he 1/10th as much as he helped me even…
I've just said fuck it all
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get sorted. It's pathetic your whining about the passing of others who actually wanted to live whilst you're sat in some shit hole with your so called "friends" slowly killing yourself. It actually annoys me you saying you wanted to "save" Malice.
HELP YOUR KIDS BY GETTING YOUR ACT TOGETHER. Fucking ungrateful shit. Malice would have actually agreed with that statement. He had no one.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-13 at 8:05 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER Honestly opiate addiction in particular is just such a dead end road. You don't get anything done. You steal shit and everyone hates you. You're sick and miserable all the time. If I'd known it would be 13 years and not 2 or 4 or 5 years, there's a solid chance I'd have killed myself.
As for now though….I can't even remember why I bothered. I mean the craving sure. But when I was perfectly well and was still using…can't remember why. Barely helped anxiety. Wasted tons of money. Never got anywhere on time. In all the time I did heroin, I don't think I ever watched a movie less than 3 times.
It's kinda eerie reading other people's experiences that just match up so well with my own.
I have a few friends IRL who are opiate addicts still (I used to be, but I defied all odds and got away from them years ago), and I get this feeling that I can only describe as... a type of disdain or disgust with them. Actually, it's not even restricted entirely to opiate addicts. I know a few people who will spend every last penny they ever get on meth and completely deplete their welfare check in a matter of days.
I empathize. I sympathize. But I still feel this reflexive disgust and contempt for them.
I think it's because I see what I used to be when I look at them. And it just makes me cringe with horror.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-13 at 7:49 AM UTC in Random image thread
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-13 at 5:22 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by GGG I didn't think you'd fall for that honestly. She only has a son who's a toddler now.
I don't know enough about the situation anymore. But if she's at all regular in her son's life then no. He's old enough to remember her now. His dad is already a convicted child molester. Junkie prostitute is an upgrade. Could say all sorts of bad things, but yeah, still an upgrade.
Although I still had to fight back the urge to tell her to kill herself. And on that note, kill yourself mq, if you would. Thanks.
Ha! I didnt think youd honestly fall for me pretending to fall for that. Wow you're really dumb. Kill yourself too.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-13 at 5:19 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Editiondamn hydro ur making me want to be real soberThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-03-13 at 5:12 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by mmQ Objectively, do you think they'd be "better off" if she killed herself ?
I didn't think you'd fall for that honestly. She only has a son who's a toddler now.
I don't know enough about the situation anymore. But if she's at all regular in her son's life then no. He's old enough to remember her now. His dad is already a convicted child molester. Junkie prostitute is an upgrade. Could say all sorts of bad things, but yeah, still an upgrade.
Although I still had to fight back the urge to tell her to kill herself. And on that note, kill yourself mq, if you would. Thanks.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-13 at 4:37 AM UTC in Random ThoughtsThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-03-13 at 3:44 AM UTC in How many people actually hooked up on DH?Yeah I dont know. Whatever happened to a good old fashioned ass whoopin; gettin your shoes, coat and your hat tooken?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-03-13 at 3:36 AM UTC in How many people actually hooked up on DH?yeah i used to all the time, met my daughters mom on there lol
i never posted on the forums because it was even shittier than here the couple times i scanned them over, it was a lot of wiggers and coal burners playing smash or pass.
it was always the fattest/ugliest girls that would play games though.
my whole phrase i semi created "i eat ur mom errrr night fly boi" was partially actually inspired some lil girl w scene hair like 7 years ago who i went to go fuck xmas night. she just had that whole cash me outside rattitude. she was pretty cute.. anyways i got to her place that night *she lived in the next town* so a bit of a drive, she told me to not cum in her and she was biting me and just being really stand offish, and she didn't even have a bed to fuck in she just slept on a mat in her living room. anyways.. i thought it would be funny to just cum in her anyways so i did... and she was pretty pissed lolThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-13 at 12:23 AM UTC in Where is the line between being a junkie and not?*dangerous gameThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-03-12 at 8:52 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..Blast from my past just called and offered me a side job teaching. It sounds so good and the pay is amazing. Do I want to work that much? I’ll have to think on this, but I love teaching.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-03-12 at 6:50 PM UTC in hey friends, im ready tro kill myself
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2019-03-12 at 6:19 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-03-12 at 6:13 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER You should get into opera, dawg
Thank you! Have you heard my other singles, "Lanny is so fucking gay" and "What would you do with a drunken admin"?
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1UMtbUsHszD
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1Bmdrl2EDjDThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-12 at 5:48 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER Also, §m£ÂgØL…. now you kind of have to record Goose Pond EP.
With as much as his autistic ass talked about it, you know he would've loved that.
Could use some improvement but I got dis:
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0iWAcWPbZ8iThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-12 at 4:27 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..
Originally posted by CASPER Still better than most days, although tbh this Malice shit put a serious fucking damper on my week. That and my step-grandpa dying. And finding out that all the friends I can't get ahold of are in jail awaiting trial on serious charges.
Sorry to hear about your loss, and as for your friends; that was their life choices. In all honesty you sound like a nice guy, you show that in your posts and the empathy you have for a fellow faggit' speaks volumes. Choose life and deviate from the path that you were once use to, take one that will give you the happiness you deserve. -
2019-03-12 at 4:20 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-03-12 at 4:13 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
Originally posted by CASPER Yeah. That's the part that I think gets me the most. I can't find an obituary…,a funeral service….a grave site. It's like he was never here to begin with. He had all these people reaching out to him. I figured he'd at least want to see what normal interactions/life could be like.
I always imagined doing a documentary about totse and all the offshoots. It's our shitty little niche site, but when you think about it like I said- he's really just a proxy for those millions of people with severe social and mental health issues. From the sounds of it, he was on a ton of different antidepressants, but they never seemed to do much. Imagine if he'd channeled all that brain power to doing anything constructive? He could've been a fantastic columnist or political commentator.
Idk. I guess it feels like he died years ago. But he promised he'd meet up for a couple of days. Idk how I could've been more accommodating. I wonder if he thought I'd talk him out of it? Part of me admires his resolve, but the rest is just…ugh. My life sucked for such a long time. And most days I didn't even feel like trying to change anything. I just wanted to get high and go to sleep, and wake up and maybe something would be different. But finally I realized "if you're serious about killing yourself, wouldn't it make sense to try other things first?"
I GET suicide. No one should feel trapped. But he actually had a ton of positive qualities that he just hadn't cultivated. His suicide just feels lazy. Out of all my friends who died, even though I never met him face to face, I almost feel more for him because we were so much alike in so many ways. I think there's a ton of projection too. It makes me sad to think that if something happened to me, or I died in my sleep- it wouldn't be much different. My mom wouldn't be able to afford to bury me ( even if interrment is kinda stupid and selfish). It's almost impossible to find picture s of me online. I barely just started talking to old friends. All my closest friends are dead or in jail. Didn't go to school. Didn't get married. No significant other.
It just feels so strange for someone to be here for so long, and spend all those days on this planet, and all those conversations and all the reading and debating. And pictures of your dick next to your cat. And then there's just 40 or 50 assorted weirdos on the internet who even had an inkling you existed, and only one of them even known your real name…and he had to pay money to dig it up after the fact from your coroners report.
Idk.
It does seem like a shame. And there's probably at least a few million like him out there too. People who have squandered their potential and felt so hopeless from it that they instead opt to exit the game. People who are isolated from real social interaction and left to survive on the fringes of society.
He was good looking. Had a good body. Smart as fuck. Could've been so much more.
It's gonna be a year since his death in just a few more months.
If anybody wants to do a memorial I was thinking we could, idk, gather up some of his best posts and publish it? I'm willing to put it together. Free e-book and paper copies sold at printing cost. This way he isn't just nothing, there will be something physical that could possibly outlive any of us. Our grandchildren will dust off the book in 100 years and say, "Who the fuck was Malice?" He won't just exist on websites and archives anymore. IDK.
Maybe it's a stupid idea but if anyone wants to work on such a thing I know how to put it all together. Can provide evidence of paper copies being sold at cost. It really depends on the size/quality but it will probably only be 1-3 bucks per copy. The money just goes to Amazon but this is the cheapest/easiest/most accessible way I can think of memorializing him. Plus think of all the randoms who will buy this book and wonder what the fuck they've stumbled on to.
Also, hydro is a piece of shit mother.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
