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Posts by TORTILLA
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2016-03-11 at 9:52 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lot
Today I woke up and the cable got cut off at my dads. There's also no food and I'm having hunger pains and there's no money anywhere and everyone is in poverty but knowing I will live to smoke another day keeps my spirits high.
Have you ever thought about getting a job -
2016-03-11 at 9:45 PM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or Sophie
.
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2016-03-11 at 9:24 PM UTC in ATT: Crazy Mike and/or Sophie
Great email though my need for chemistry related questions is beyond that, Ive had a needle in my arm a few times today, so Im good with chemistry related information. Its about something else.
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2016-03-09 at 9:39 PM UTC in Has anyone used backpage before?I have a latina fetish like no ones bisnis, and im lookin to fuck one and possibly try and convert her into my girl strictly. I found one that I am currently in talks with. I am concerned with cops, so I have decided that the best plan of action is for me to tell her to take her top off before I talk about any exchange of money. I imagine this shouldn't make it awkwar because it is mutually beneficial. No cop is going to take her top off, and no undercover cop is going to ask for that. So I think that should clear up the law enforcement aspect. Has anyone paid for a backpage girl before? the majority of you are virgins so I'm not expecting much useful feedback
pic related
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2016-03-09 at 8:01 PM UTC in Bill Krozbyler Starter Kitthat, was funny
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2016-03-07 at 6:54 PM UTC in Anyone here go to church?the solace and comfort that you get from religion actually comes at a great price.
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2016-03-05 at 11:45 PM UTC in My mom is cringe?
Pretty sure she doesn't, dumbass. My father would never allow it. Though if she did it would definitely make things easier for me.
Bill Krozby told me his rent in hip town USA Austin is 800 dollars a month, not including utilities, internet, gas, and the general expenses that go along with being a fuccboi. So I'm just going to assume a conservative figure of 1,000 a month. Bill Krozby makes minimum wage at his pizza job, which amounts to 7.25 an hour. He works ~30 hours a week. That comes to $870 a month before taxes, which nets a loss of over $130/month. Where in that figure is there room to start stashing away 20,000 dollars for a hotdog stand you might ask? I'll tell you where: mommy.
Last month, Weedsmoker told me that Bill Krozby's parents supplement his rent every month, which is truly the only way he can possibly maintain his housing. For months douggie D would cam up in tinychat, jobless. Considering the fact that Bill Krozby is an alcoholic, I have 0 faith he had any amount saved to be paying his bills while he job searched for m
Enlighten us on how the math is any different
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2016-03-05 at 11:21 PM UTC in My mom is cringe?
^yeah unfortunately, its taken me years to realize it (i always kinda had a sense), I actually feel sorry for my dad for putting up with that for so long. The last time I saw my parents at their place before it burned down was over 3 years ago for xmas eve and my mom starting bitching about oil spuilt in the oven and started bitching my dad while i was there (why would you make a big deal about something so trivial when your son is over and you haven't seen him a year) He didn't give a fuck he didnt say anything and just kept watching tv. I ent up getting my mom to give me some vicodin behind my dads back because he's against drugs, which was nice of her but she has something really skewed with her mindset. She never had a job except one that my dads cousin gave her cleaing his computer shop and she couldn't even handle that. Instead she made paper mache' dragons to hang at the elementary school library and take care of parots.
She's an interesting woman but she dropped the ball many times and is crying about it now, when I don't exactly care as much as I used to because I have my own life away from them. I used to think my dad was the meanest man in the world but he's actually a good guy, but mom is acting really strange. Her and my brother would play tricks on me because they know that I'm paranoid. I try to not buy into that stuff anymore (her phone call was of a similar nature) But at the same time i hate when people try to attempt it and it doesn't work, like they thought i was to stupid to tell.
I have a manager at work that luckily I don't have to work with often (she's old enough to where she saw the meat puppets as a teenager live when their album ii came out), but she's always covering for me when I come in late or fuck something up and likes to talk about music with me, and I liked her for covering for me, but I now realize that she's not as professional as she previously displayed, I actually feel uncomfortable around her and don't know what to say to her when she talks to me because she's trying to hit one me. (im sure this happens at most peoples jobs, but since I haven't normally had a job in many years it kinda caught me off guard)
She actually has a nice house and money but she chooses to work at a place like this, I dont understand it.
People like to watch your life unfold, very few people will feel sorry for you , they might even have fun with it. On a daily basis I literally have to people more miserable than me to shut the fuck up because they are cutting into my time. People say I'm greedy, rude, and that I only care about myself but I've given out way too much already so I have to do some things different.
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2016-03-05 at 10:36 PM UTC in Tort is one of those stolen valor fagsMaybe if I ignore this like Bill Krozby did to the hotdog thread about him it will go away. Well, thats a common tactic among beta males (fuccboi's) which I have no desire to emulate.
Earlier this week I defined a fuccboi as follows:What we are witnessing here ladies and gentlemen is what i call, The Art of the Fuccboi. I am a leading expert on studying these people. It's a severe mental illness, whereby an individual lives in a false reality, saying and believing things that just aren't true…
Exhibit A:Maybe you and hts should bunk together so he can pretend to be a woman and you can pretend to be a military husband. Seems like a match made in heaven to me.
This, commin from the guy who gets screen capped doin stuff like this for hts at 2am on a Monday night .
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2016-03-04 at 10:11 AM UTC in Survival Gear / General Discussion
Samsung Galaxy S6 64 GB w/ unlimited talk/text/data plan, Alienwear 18 customizable laptop w/ Intel® Core™ i7-4940MX processor, 4-cores, 8MB Cache, Overclocked up to 4.4GHz w/ Intel TurboBoost, 18.4" WLED FHD (1920 X 1080) TrueLife Display, Dual NVIDIA® GeForce® GTX™ 970M with 6GB GDDR5 each (NVIDIA SLI® Enabled), 16GB Dual Channel DDR3L at 1600MHz, Slot-Loading Dual Layer DVD Burner (DVDR/RW), and an 8-cell Lithium Ion (86 wHr). a 3D Connexion SpaceMouse Pro Wireless mouse, a pair of Ultrasone Edition 5 Closed-Back Headphones, a Bowens Creo 1200 Power Generator, an unlimited supply of ale, and a couple fish hooks.
Simple.
Wish Granted, but you forgot about the internet connection.
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2016-03-04 at 9:59 AM UTC in ATTN: Bill Krozby The Hotdog Dreamer
I'd like to help a failure get on his feet. All you need to do is post a business plan and…
that's it.
Bill Krozby seems incapable of putting together anything beyond his greenday and my chemical romance playlist so let me offer some assistance.
Phase 1: Crowdfunding
- Get mom to transfer 20,000 dollars into bank account. Don't forget February rent, too.
Phase 2: Acquisition
-Overpay for new hotdog stand and equipment
-Acquire Business Liscense
-Get inspected by food health and safety.
-Realize you just spent 20 grand on a hotdog business, you're committed now.
Phase 3: Execution
- Sell hotdogs at 5 dollars a pop
- Realize how many hotdogs you must sell to repay your mother 20,000 dollars, accounting for cost of product itself.
- Wake up every morning knowing you have to deal with drunk assholes, the homeless, the weather, thiefs, health inspectors, bad yelp reviews, all with a smile.
- Avoiding the increasingly present thought that maybe this was a bad idea, while adding mustard to a customers hotdog.
- Avoid suicide
This is a basic outline, and generally a good start I think.
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2016-03-04 at 9:39 AM UTC in Survival Gear / General Discussiondont forget your hormones
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2016-03-04 at 7:26 AM UTC in Someone smart explain to me what a superdelegate is/does, pl0x
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2016-03-03 at 9:45 PM UTC in ATTN: Bill Krozby The Hotdog DreamerI've gone over this with Bill Krozby before, but let me reiterate. The fact of the matter is, Bill Krozby will never own a hotdog stand. He doesn't have the financial discipline to stack away 20 thousand dollars. besides, with his current finances, he doesnt even net a profit every month. Here's the breakdown:
Bill Krozby told me his rent in hip town USA Austin is 800 dollars a month, not including utilities, internet, gas, and the general expenses that go along with being a fuccboi. So I'm just going to assume a conservative figure of 1,000 a month. Bill Krozby makes minimum wage at his pizza job, which amounts to 7.25 an hour. He works ~30 hours a week. That comes to $870 a month before taxes, which nets a loss of over $130/month. Where in that figure is there room to start stashing away 20,000 dollars for a hotdog stand you might ask? I'll tell you where: mommy.
Last month, Weedsmoker told me that Bill Krozby's parents supplement his rent every month, which is truly the only way he can possibly maintain his housing. For months douggie D would cam up in tinychat, jobless. Considering the fact that Bill Krozby is an alcoholic, I have 0 faith he had any amount saved to be paying his bills while he job searched for months.
What we are witnessing here ladies and gentlemen is what i call, The Art of the Fuccboi. I am a leading expert on studying these people. It's a severe mental illness, whereby an individual lives in a false reality, saying and believing things that just aren't true, all while maintaining a lifestyle of promiscuous sex with overweight ginger women, combing of the hair into the eyes, and making excuses as to why they cant join in on the mosh pit at the death metal concert, then going home and telling everyone on tinychat how you kicked peoples asses in the mosh pit.
Here's a picture of Bill Krozby showing off his ass to a homosexual. Remember, Bill Krozby maintain's hes 100% heterosexual too, (lol).
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2016-03-02 at 11:47 PM UTC in My Top Three Best Books of 2016
u wot m8
was intended for Bill Krozby -
2016-03-02 at 11:13 PM UTC in My Top Three Best Books of 2016^pretends to read books
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2016-03-02 at 11:04 PM UTC in My Top Three Best Books of 2016kim kardashian - Selfish
and
just ordered: [h=1]Playing to the Edge: American Intelligence in the Age of Terror[/h] by michael hayden
The only man to serve as both director of the CIA and head of the NSA.
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2016-03-02 at 10:54 PM UTC in Corrupt a Wish
Le Granted, but it's a 10 year old boy that "she" looks like. Also she's paralyzed from the waist down and has a massive speech impediment to match her IQ of 73.
Wish Granted, but soon thereafter you are diagnosed with a deadly bone marrow cancer unrelated to alcohol/cigarette's. So that night you go home and get blackout drunk, then you decide to go drive to get fast food. You wake up in a jail cell to find that you were involved in a hit and run, killing every occupant of a minivan full of kids going home after a celebratory soccer victory at chuckie cheese.
I wish I was immune to the negative side-effects of mass alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking.
I wish I find a hot fuckin 19-22 year old latina who wants my cock on the reg and we settle down very happy. She doesn't have hiv, doesnt get fat, we have 2 kids and are very happy. We have gratifying sex on the reg. We have lots of money. -
2016-03-02 at 9:08 PM UTC in Tort's criagslist CC, SS#s, bank robbery, and mexico criminal guide for dummies!!!!!Go on the jobs section of craigslist and find an application for a job with wide appeal. Make sure the application has a spot to put your SS#. Repost that application as if you are posting as the hiring manager on CL in all the major cities. There are people, many people, who will put down their actual SS#, name, address. Diligent application of this method will result in a mega dump. Sell on darknet, PROFIT!!!!!!!!!111111111\
Option 2: Apply to shitty pizza place. Take phone orders. When people decide to pay over phone with CC, simply write down their CC#, 3 digit security code, name and address down on ur phone as you take the order in the pizza place's computer. PROFITTTTTT!
Option 3: Go on Craigslist's part-time job section. Make an add saying you need several painters for a large personal construction project. You will pay 150$ per day, and the job will last up to 2 weeks if the person decides to return the next day. No commitment required beyond day 1. This will appeal to a wide audience, especially if you live in a large latino populated city such as Los Angeles. Dress code is required, Blue jeans, white shirt, and a hat. Give a time and a date. Give the hiring/pickup location in front of a bank.
Stash a bike 2 blocks from the bank. Rob bank wearing blue jeans, white shirt, hat, and disguise. Flee on foot, grab stash bike, remove disguise. The police will be thrown off long enough to make getaway. PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!
Option 4: Cross the border on foot from San Diego into Tijuana. Take a cab from the initial cross point to the red light district (La Zona Norte) to avoid the notorious mugging trap points, into relative safety. A room can be rented for 12-25$ per night. This will be your temporary base of operations. Walk the streets of La Zona Norte and find yourself 1-3 hot latina hookers. A typical fuck is anywhere from 15$-50$ for 20 minutes. Tell them you have a job for them tomorrow, at an unknown time, but you are going to pay them triple. Get their contact information and tell them to be ready to meet at your hotel tomorrow.
Return to your room and go on to craigslist's ETC/Part time job section and look for ad's in spanish that translate to: ''Border Crossing''. which are usually followed with a simple phone number and dollar amount. Call the number and make an appointment, if you don't speak enough spanish to set up a meeting place, tell them you only hablo english. I assure you, you will get put on or called back by someone who can speak english. Now, because you are american/and are likely a gringo, your a hot commodity for this line of work. You will be asked to meet at a safe house. You will be asked several questions of competency and you will be vetted to assure that you are not a rival cartel mole. You have nothing to fear, tell the truth, you are simply on vacation looking to make some extra $. It's an acceptable and not uncommon thing which these guys see more than you think.
The following morning a car will be driven to your hotel room. A GPS will be plugged in with your final destination into america pre programmed. You will be given 1mg of xanax and be asked to depart. This is where you deviate from the plan. Call all 3 of your latina hookers saying it's go time. Whichever one gets to you first, tell her to hop in and haul ass, reprogramming your GPS for Cabo San Lucas. Once you are able to get on the freeway heading south, dump the GPS outside the window. It is an easy straight shot south from here. Once you arrive at the destination, you'll need to rent a time-share apt with a garage. Have your girl go upstairs and enjoy the view and get herself ready. This is where you get to work.
If the vehicle is a truck, the goods are located behind the the back passanger seats. Remove the seats, if you encounter a steel plate, this is a good thing, it is used to deflect xray detection at the border. remove plate. If there is no plate tap the under side of the fuel tank, listening for a hollow sound. If you are confident it isnt there either, check inside the door pannels. Headrests are a good spot as well. Today's drug mule cars are trending towards moving bulk as opposed to relatively small quantities hidden sophisticatedly within the car. This is especially true when it is your first run. You are a disposable asset to them and your first time through the border is usually the most successful, so they tend to hide bulk shipments, which can only be hidden in the places described above.
Once you find the saran wrapped packages, pull out as many as you feel you will need. Drive the stripped car/truck a few blocks away and ditch it. Rejoin your latina, and hopefully the christmas gifts you are about to unwrap are some high quality meth or cocaine. In which case, go on a 1 night drug fueled sex party. Book a flight back home for the next morning, stuffing as much of the drugs up ur ass as humanly possible. Return home and shit out the drugs, selling them will yield a large profit, having covered the expenses of the entire trip. Sit back with a fat cigar on your porch and smile.
Optional - If you dont wanna ditch the hot latina, fill her up with ur cum the night before and give her your contact info for citizenship, and give her 150$ to get back home. -
2016-03-01 at 12:17 AM UTC in SPLOO SINGS GIRL MUSIC AND MAKES IT BETTERwhile mom's at work