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Posts by TORTILLA
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2016-03-02 at 11:13 PM UTC in My Top Three Best Books of 2016^pretends to read books
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2016-03-02 at 11:04 PM UTC in My Top Three Best Books of 2016kim kardashian - Selfish
and
just ordered: [h=1]Playing to the Edge: American Intelligence in the Age of Terror[/h] by michael hayden
The only man to serve as both director of the CIA and head of the NSA.
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2016-03-02 at 10:54 PM UTC in Corrupt a Wish
Le Granted, but it's a 10 year old boy that "she" looks like. Also she's paralyzed from the waist down and has a massive speech impediment to match her IQ of 73.
Wish Granted, but soon thereafter you are diagnosed with a deadly bone marrow cancer unrelated to alcohol/cigarette's. So that night you go home and get blackout drunk, then you decide to go drive to get fast food. You wake up in a jail cell to find that you were involved in a hit and run, killing every occupant of a minivan full of kids going home after a celebratory soccer victory at chuckie cheese.
I wish I was immune to the negative side-effects of mass alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking.
I wish I find a hot fuckin 19-22 year old latina who wants my cock on the reg and we settle down very happy. She doesn't have hiv, doesnt get fat, we have 2 kids and are very happy. We have gratifying sex on the reg. We have lots of money. -
2016-03-02 at 9:08 PM UTC in Tort's criagslist CC, SS#s, bank robbery, and mexico criminal guide for dummies!!!!!Go on the jobs section of craigslist and find an application for a job with wide appeal. Make sure the application has a spot to put your SS#. Repost that application as if you are posting as the hiring manager on CL in all the major cities. There are people, many people, who will put down their actual SS#, name, address. Diligent application of this method will result in a mega dump. Sell on darknet, PROFIT!!!!!!!!!111111111\
Option 2: Apply to shitty pizza place. Take phone orders. When people decide to pay over phone with CC, simply write down their CC#, 3 digit security code, name and address down on ur phone as you take the order in the pizza place's computer. PROFITTTTTT!
Option 3: Go on Craigslist's part-time job section. Make an add saying you need several painters for a large personal construction project. You will pay 150$ per day, and the job will last up to 2 weeks if the person decides to return the next day. No commitment required beyond day 1. This will appeal to a wide audience, especially if you live in a large latino populated city such as Los Angeles. Dress code is required, Blue jeans, white shirt, and a hat. Give a time and a date. Give the hiring/pickup location in front of a bank.
Stash a bike 2 blocks from the bank. Rob bank wearing blue jeans, white shirt, hat, and disguise. Flee on foot, grab stash bike, remove disguise. The police will be thrown off long enough to make getaway. PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!
Option 4: Cross the border on foot from San Diego into Tijuana. Take a cab from the initial cross point to the red light district (La Zona Norte) to avoid the notorious mugging trap points, into relative safety. A room can be rented for 12-25$ per night. This will be your temporary base of operations. Walk the streets of La Zona Norte and find yourself 1-3 hot latina hookers. A typical fuck is anywhere from 15$-50$ for 20 minutes. Tell them you have a job for them tomorrow, at an unknown time, but you are going to pay them triple. Get their contact information and tell them to be ready to meet at your hotel tomorrow.
Return to your room and go on to craigslist's ETC/Part time job section and look for ad's in spanish that translate to: ''Border Crossing''. which are usually followed with a simple phone number and dollar amount. Call the number and make an appointment, if you don't speak enough spanish to set up a meeting place, tell them you only hablo english. I assure you, you will get put on or called back by someone who can speak english. Now, because you are american/and are likely a gringo, your a hot commodity for this line of work. You will be asked to meet at a safe house. You will be asked several questions of competency and you will be vetted to assure that you are not a rival cartel mole. You have nothing to fear, tell the truth, you are simply on vacation looking to make some extra $. It's an acceptable and not uncommon thing which these guys see more than you think.
The following morning a car will be driven to your hotel room. A GPS will be plugged in with your final destination into america pre programmed. You will be given 1mg of xanax and be asked to depart. This is where you deviate from the plan. Call all 3 of your latina hookers saying it's go time. Whichever one gets to you first, tell her to hop in and haul ass, reprogramming your GPS for Cabo San Lucas. Once you are able to get on the freeway heading south, dump the GPS outside the window. It is an easy straight shot south from here. Once you arrive at the destination, you'll need to rent a time-share apt with a garage. Have your girl go upstairs and enjoy the view and get herself ready. This is where you get to work.
If the vehicle is a truck, the goods are located behind the the back passanger seats. Remove the seats, if you encounter a steel plate, this is a good thing, it is used to deflect xray detection at the border. remove plate. If there is no plate tap the under side of the fuel tank, listening for a hollow sound. If you are confident it isnt there either, check inside the door pannels. Headrests are a good spot as well. Today's drug mule cars are trending towards moving bulk as opposed to relatively small quantities hidden sophisticatedly within the car. This is especially true when it is your first run. You are a disposable asset to them and your first time through the border is usually the most successful, so they tend to hide bulk shipments, which can only be hidden in the places described above.
Once you find the saran wrapped packages, pull out as many as you feel you will need. Drive the stripped car/truck a few blocks away and ditch it. Rejoin your latina, and hopefully the christmas gifts you are about to unwrap are some high quality meth or cocaine. In which case, go on a 1 night drug fueled sex party. Book a flight back home for the next morning, stuffing as much of the drugs up ur ass as humanly possible. Return home and shit out the drugs, selling them will yield a large profit, having covered the expenses of the entire trip. Sit back with a fat cigar on your porch and smile.
Optional - If you dont wanna ditch the hot latina, fill her up with ur cum the night before and give her your contact info for citizenship, and give her 150$ to get back home. -
2016-03-01 at 12:17 AM UTC in SPLOO SINGS GIRL MUSIC AND MAKES IT BETTERwhile mom's at work
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2016-02-29 at 10:52 PM UTC in Can Bernie beat Hillary?Before democratic primary in south carolina both bernie and hillary had 40 delegates +/- 2. Unfortunately its all an illusion, superdelegates have already pledged, with 502 for hillary and 70 for bernie, with a total of ~1200 needed. The whole thing is a sham
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2016-02-29 at 7:16 PM UTC in Today is the first of spring in Tx
I bought my daughter a bible for Easter.
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2016-02-29 at 6:53 AM UTC in Le master storyteller Bill Krozby
props for making that go to this thing:
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2016-02-26 at 8:11 AM UTC in ATTN Sophie
Well, it didn't happen more than a couple of times but somebody who was friends with him. What's bs is that person sometimes wouldn't even be in there but they would hear it from somebody else (who doesn't like lite, or really me if he'd make shit up) that I was doing all this mad crazy shit in tc and then he'd run and go tell lite. It's like nigga, you weren't even there.
haha. probably tort. TORT DID IT.
Nope, not me. Could have been many people. Panthrax ? he seemed to take a strong interest in the relationship, texting lite saying he was controlling you and jealous etc or maybe lite was just lying to you to actually control you or maybe it was me
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2016-02-09 at 10:42 PM UTC in Wrote a new love letter to Ashley
No she broke my heart and she feels bad about it so now she's basically giving me a free pass to degrade her incessantly which I've been doing for like 7 months. It's good psycho bundy rage though right? She isn't gonna call the police cause I've already threatened to kill her like 30 times. Sent this to her on facebook hope she likes it, I want to make her a painslut
hope she shows it to her father and he finds you after school and beats your fuckin ass -
2016-02-08 at 8:24 AM UTC in HTS' aka Lucidite's tragic hospital video
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2016-02-04 at 7:10 PM UTC in tore myself a new asshole
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2016-02-03 at 9:15 PM UTC in do i have the best life out of anyone here?ITS YA BOi, DOUGGIEEEE DEEEE##
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2016-02-03 at 8:51 PM UTC in Pedophilies are disgustingwhat if a guy has sex with a 17 year old. are they a pedo?
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2016-02-03 at 7:24 AM UTC in So I'm withdrawaling from alcohol like a cystic fibrosis stricken little bitchOP is copying my threads
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2016-02-02 at 10:41 AM UTC in Have you ever rescued anything?It's very true. and after that event I became very bitter during highschool. So now everytime I see someone who acts exceptionally hard, i lol and think, 'so what's the emotional trauma u are dealing with'
for instance, i was working the register last week and this wannabe nigger walked in our store, strutting his stuff as he approached me at the register. he proceeded to hand me a 100 dollar bill because he needed 'change'. Being the nice guy i am, I said sure bud, even tho it would render the store low on 20's, and we are indeed a pizza shop, not a bank. As per protocol, I struck it with our pen and it showed up black -aka fake. then I held it up to the light and no water mark showed. So I said, hey dude, try this across the street at CVS youll have a better bet, cause Im not looking to lose my job because ur trying to be a fuccboi
i would have played along but i need to kepp this job for a few more months. not to mention ur a a fucking nigger lover. have a nice day andd fuck urself
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2016-02-02 at 9:35 AM UTC in Have you ever rescued anything?once my cat named girlfriend somehow got out. she was a nice kitty and i loved her. i was prolly 13 and i was so concerned i posted flyers all around my neighborhood offering a reward for her rescue. 5 or so days after her disappearance our neighbor happened to be under the false structural rooms that kept our apartment afloat, and there was my kitty. she was apparently balled up in a corner and COVERED in fleas. im glad we found her.
Then several years later, after having moved into the house of an abusive stepdad, my kitty was constantly harassed by my mothers new asshole yorkshire terrier. I would often slap it across the face because it would frequently corner my now aging kitty and terrorize her. I'll never forget the day when she had finally had enough from the traumatic move into a new house and the new addition of a dog, she jumped up onto my bed and had this look in her eyes like ''I've been with you since you were a young child. I love you, but its time'' Then she laid on her side and breathed heavily then died. I became a very angry teen after that. -
2016-02-02 at 8:27 AM UTC in I'm alone in Tiny ChatOP: I'm in TC every single night drinking, I just have work. I'm on right now with Bill Krozby
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2016-01-31 at 8:33 AM UTC in white powerlanny must be black because im no longer allowed to post new threads. lmao
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2016-01-30 at 7:56 AM UTC in white power
