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Thanked Posts by Zanick
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2019-04-05 at 7:04 AM UTC in I'm wasting my time with you, Karen.I want you to know that I’ve appraised our love honestly, and I don’t see this working out. My left brain is keenly aware that I’m making a poor investment. I write to you so often, pouring out my feelings courageously despite the mockery of my peers, and my efforts seem to be wasted. You never write back, no matter how many times I email you at work or post about you here. I’ve exhausted every possibility and my belief now is that you aren’t worth my time.
Luckily for you, I’m handsome and daring and very foolish. I intend to waste the rest of my life pursuing your shadow and I know that I will suffer. Write back if you want, don’t if you don’t. I’ll be refreshing my inbox until the last breath leaves my withering lungs. From the moment you laid hands on me, I was doomed.
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2019-04-02 at 6:36 AM UTC in Breasts
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2019-04-02 at 6:34 AM UTC in Breasts
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2019-04-01 at 4:25 AM UTC in Karen, I drink to memories of our future.You are the reason men play the guitar
You are fine print in the Constitution
You inspire the lights of sun, moon, and stars
You are the problem and the solution
I am the reason for your adventure
I am the journey you fear to begin
I am margins controlling the center
I am a chalice of bloody chagrin
We are far apart; we are divided
We are alive, and yet we are absent
We are dead, and so we are united
We are whiskey and wine in the absinthe
Our paths have crossed and become intertwined
Our stories met, and the gods are resigned
User was banned for saying the taboo phrase "guitar"!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-03-31 at 4:20 AM UTC in MqThe best people repeat their mistakes.
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2019-03-31 at 4:05 AM UTC in What do you guys do when bored?I hit refresh on the 'Latest Threads' page until I'm ready to put a gun in my mouth.
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2019-03-31 at 2:56 AM UTC in Karen is all there isYou are form formless, the spring of being
Stars sing to men a gospel of your love
I, blind sighted, accursed to seeing
You are a boa strangling a dove
I see you in trees, the bark and the leaves
Are illustrations of your soul in heat
Wrathful empress of a kingdom aggrieved
All things that are must nibble at your teat
Your body is the world; the world is mine
You issue impossible swords from lakes
You give me cause to believe the divine
I see that every moment is at stake
I’d destroy history to see you cry
Prepared to erase; I’m ready to die
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2019-03-29 at 6:31 AM UTC in Karen, I'm pregnant.I thought this particular variety of conception was reserved for devout virgins, but here I am, a zealot of your love, knocked up in a twist of cosmic irony. Every doctor I've consulted has assured me that this will be an abnormal pregnancy, and it's likely our multiphallic child will only be delivered on my deathbed. Widening my urethra in preparation will be a challenge. I've started taking prenatal vitamins, but I consumed the whole prescription in three days because I was so eager to nourish my heir. He will have no one to sire him and I have no savings to be inherited, but life under the El will make him strong. He will commit atrocities that make Atilla, Ghengis Khan, and Hitler blush in their heavenly orgy. Your love will breed the greatest violence, begin the fiercest war the world will ever see, and threaten all life everywhere before eventually receding back into my rotting loins. Please write back, as I have questions about how to ensure this prodigy recognizes his moral obligations. I cannot parent from the grave without your radiance to guide me.
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2019-03-28 at 7:18 AM UTC in Do you take it 'one day at a time'?I try to occupy every moment other than right now, but I can't seem to escape the prison of the present. I'm hitchhiking at the intersection of the past and the future as I post this, and nobody is pulling over for directions. That's not a bad thing, I'd probably murder them.
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2019-03-28 at 7:12 AM UTC in The Chicago D.A. dropped all 16 felony charges against Jessie Smollett...I secured this outcome on behalf of my client. It required blackmail and custom pornography, both of which are within my skill set. Smollett is a tremendous lover and I would've killed anyone to accomplish his freedom. Now he belongs to me forever.
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2019-03-23 at 6:48 PM UTC in ZOMG I missed my morning COFFEE!!! X(For cheap coffee, it's hard to beat Aldi. I recommend trying it whole bean sometime with a decent grinder, you might be pleasantly surprised.
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2019-03-23 at 4:45 AM UTC in The Karen PrincipleFrom the moment I first laid eyes on your first post here, I was drawn to you by a force beyond control. This was a physical fact, I discovered after some reading, like gravity or magnetism, that delivered you my love. I've come to understand that you are the reason galaxies spin, and you are the entropy that cruelly devours them. Every star is but a messenger preaching the gospel of your radiance. The planet turns and we become stranger, but you are the rotation and you are stranger still.
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2019-03-11 at 12:13 PM UTC in What have you eaten today?Adderall
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2019-03-22 at 5:57 PM UTC in do you own a pair of airpods?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-03-21 at 5:33 AM UTC in How do you explain your enthusiasm for hallucinogens?Suppose that you want to be honest with someone you care about deeply, but they haven't even smoked pot and you’re not sure if they’ll be understanding.
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2019-03-06 at 8:58 PM UTC in The peanut butter thredI hate peanuts and peanut butter, but I enjoy mixing the organic stuff with my erect penis. Sometimes at the grocery store, I'll get a dozen jars and take them to the bathroom, stir them thoroughly and put them back on the shelf. I consider this a courtesy to other shoppers, who won't have to labor mixing it themselves.
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2019-03-18 at 5:03 AM UTC in The totse/zoklet/ect darwin awards
Originally posted by Bill Krozby what about them? and yes i am a sociopath
well even though you burned your house down you prolly were dead eyed in custody im sure you're alive now and more power to you.
Now that you've achieved minimal self-awareness, please consider getting yourself to a psychiatrist who can diagnose you with a cluster B personality disorder.
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2019-03-14 at 6:19 AM UTC in Self-imposed dilemmasI can't eat until I've drunk a full bottle of wine, because I drink on an empty stomach to maximize absorption. I can't take my medications until an hour after I've eaten. The whole process creeps around the clock until I'm drunk by two, eating dinner at three, taking essential medications and going to sleep at four (already lamenting the passing of my peak of drunkenness) provided I don't dick around on this site for too long.
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2019-03-18 at 5:16 AM UTC in what does it mean when people say you're going to get your "just desserts"It’s a misspelling. In truth, people who say this want a world of just desert. They are Martian agents sent to terraform our planet to be suitable for their habitation by influencing policy, and they are spreading this phrase because they are mistaken on the decision making capacity of the electorate. They have also never played the game “telephone” because they are telepathic, and therefore aren’t aware of how meaning can get lost in the process of speaking and listening. It’s not going according to their plan.
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2019-03-14 at 4:58 AM UTC in ITT: we try to imagine the taste of HTS' Mouthprobably a little like teeth
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