The reason I’m reluctant to go out and chainsmoke is because I don’t want to get mugged my last night here I just want to go home
I tried washing off the mascara tear streaks and now it looks like I have a nasty bruise on my mismatched dermal fillers so now it looks swollen and black
Halloween, my Botox appointment isn’t until the 3rd of November so I’ll look shit. I didn’t buy a new costume so it’s either bdsm nurse or blue angel cheerleader.
I was so happy to be back in Rotterdam earlier and am not sure why, if I was just glad to be out of Amsterdam or if this place reminds me of Belfast a bit and is less crowded.
I wanna go chainsmoke but it means getting changed out of my comfy clothes and then blacks/indians approaching me while I sit on a bench. The last one said he lives in Holland and asked if I needed help, I could just go with things because I have no fucks left to give but meh
The guy who molested me was the spitting image of him
Are they going to worship silicone and someone else’s hair? Religious people are crazy, so is the need to cover his genitals if we’re all apparently made in gods image. Jesus will end up being the next Satan someday when another religion becomes more dominant. Or forgotten about like Mithras whom apparently did all the same things Jesus did before him.
Idk what to do for my last night here
Exhausted but happy to be back in Rotterdam. I’m going straight to McDonald’s.
The bumper was on the road so maybe there will be a crash
I’m on the motorway and right in front of us this van does a 360 it looked like the driver was passed out. I thought it was the end but it stopped.
I hate the way people dress nowadays
I’m starting to feel hatred toward minorities and black people and am not sure why, why so late in my life?
I kind of want to live here because of the abortion laws, gun ranges and assisted suicide, the weather is alright too lots of rain. I can’t get over the eyesores though, ugly people everywhere I look and people not dressing up and I don’t want to learn the language. The ground is p flat as well not sure I could get used to it.
I’ve been feeling too many emotions to list so I’ll go with the least important. The place I’m staying, it’s easy to imagine I’m in the 1920s and I feel like there’s bad energy here, I’ve been having crazy dreams and also calling myself by my birthname in my head, I haven’t done that in 8 years, but maybe it’s really my dad calling me. I know your environment can change your thoughts.