Now I remember when I was 12 going into a store to buy WKD and they sold me it, didn't ask for ID. It was in that middle of nowhere place.
I wasn't a drinker as a teen because I needed to feel in control of myself, didn't like the vulnerability that comes with slower reflexes.
My mum suffocated her to be perfect so she went wild. Thankfully my mum had no interest in me, narcissists don't like people they can't control and I had oppositional defiant disorder. I wasn't a bad judge of character so I didn't fall into wrong crowds like she did.
2024-12-21 at 10:55 AM UTC
in
Crisis looms
One of his miracles was the bread and fish feeding everyone, but really it was the people who decided not to take any. People made Christ, and they can do it again.
2024-12-21 at 10:54 AM UTC
in
Crisis looms
If Christ returns three birds can be killed with one stone. The best candidate for the next Christ is a liberal. I can't arrange this as I'm not American.
I was thinking my last words could be that my life's been interesting but someone has already claimed those. I think I'll go with it's been delightful, for sarcasm.
The first time I felt seen was when I was 11, when my mum bought me my first dress from an adult women's store. It was red and white horizontal striped, fitting and very short. Guys would hit on me when I wore it. I noticed the difference. Would go to a swimming pool everyday that summer and the day I wore it was when a guy asked me to walk home with him. When everyone was paying attention to my sister on a dance machine some guy noticed me when I wore that.
She was 12 nd drinking nd showed up to her English exam drunk with tampons tied into her hair, and she still got a B. You know how much pressure that put on me?
Memories flooding back of how I envied my sister. She had cooler stuff she prob stole, would come home in a police car every Friday night. She was pro on dance machines like people crowding round. Bedroom plastered w Eminem posters. I know a place where her graffiti still exists, a heart w her baby daddy's name. I showed it to her child.
This is why Bratz doll fashion made a revival. We played with those dolls as kids and wanted to look like them when we grew up, but fashion changed by that time.
I couldn't wait to grow up. Imagined what I would look like, black crop top with an embellished star, hair up-do with those spiral 90s hair clips, flared denim jeans. It never materialised because that era passed. I was jealous of my sister when she got her 18yr old inheritance. I remember she got flared kaki trousers, a pink top with the back all shredded and blonde highlights. I was too young for an outfit like that. I was jealous she got to have house parties when goths were a big thing and showed up looking like Marilyn Manson. I got the era of chavs :/
We had a permanent home, the caravan was just for holidays and for staying with my family in the south. We couldn't all stay in their house, just park the caravan beside it. I loved those days. They lived in the middle of nowhere and had just moved their, so the villagers wouldn't talk to them as they were northerners. We'd go there sometimes for two weeks. It was a lot of fun because they had three kids around the same age as me and my sister. We'd play poker every night. I remember watching The Skeleton Key when I was six.
Want to find out if gypsy curses are real? I can put one on you.
I'm surprised I never saw her as a role model before, I was terrified of her, but now I can see it. I remember when I was five, my family travelled Ireland in a caravan. One night parked beside some ruins with long wet grass, I was alone in the caravan, don't know where everyone was. I listened to The Witches on a cassette tape, listened to it on repeat. The most terrifying scene in my head was when he was in the hall and thought he was safe because they were leaving, then one of them smelled him. It was terrifying what followed.
