I got chatting with this drunk French guy who seems lovely, it turns out he’s a social worker who works with autists. It’s the first conversation I didn’t feel a need to cut short in over a week.
I can’t wait to go home and never be seen again
I don’t get why I have a revulsion toward sociopaths when they’ve been some of the most supportive people for me. Ik they’re never anyone’s friends but I’ve never been a target so think I repel them as well.
I should be asleep now it’s been 16 hours too much but I’m sipping monster and feel cracked.
I think I spotted a sociopath today. It’s wild to assume so quickly but think about it. He worked at the airport checking peoples boarding passes, he managed to make the majority of people laugh, I was listening to him, commenting on their appearance or making jokes, but he also lightly insulted some people like telling some man who looked like death that he looked fresh, asking about another guy’s beard but I felt like he was insulting him. I guess what struck me was the charisma, wit, dead eyes and being able to get away with insulting people. Or am I just seeing danger everywhere?
I just listened to my time distortion hypnosis which causes hypnotic amnesia and I swear it works because two days in a loud airport felt like nothing for me, an autist. I was taking coke in the bathrooms which also causes amnesia but the point is I dread my German lessons, they seem to go on forever but if I use the time distortion for that will I forget what I’m learning?
How I kill time: chainsmoke, journal, online shopping, German lessons, audiobook, make plans.
I really like Rotterdam but don’t think I’ll come back because I’ve seen pretty much everything. I feel like I could have had more fun if I was in a social mood but I was off the whole time and kept cutting conversations short. I regret going to Amsterdam.
I still have to become Anglican so I can be buried with my dad
If I could die rn I would because tomorrow will be hell but I don’t want my family to have to deal with transporting the body. It was hard enough when my uncle died abroad and they had help from his friends in that country to sort it out.
I have a teams meeting at 11am, then will go to the botanic gardens at some point then study in the library my last day -_- lots of walking and I’m leaving my bag somewhere, then airport chaos in the evening with the security queues lasting hours, then stranded in Dublin airport at night, then two hour bus home but before home I’m going to the shop and will be too cracked to deal with the shop guy. Then when I get in I’m going to open all the windows, change my covers if there’s dust on them and shower, maybe get food if I haven’t already passed out.
I need to sleep tomorrow will be the longest day of my life I won’t get to sleep until Wednesday
