I would listen to a forest walk hypnosis instead of going outside and I live right next to a forest.
I live in a beautiful area but don’t see much of it because the weather overwhelms me most times, it feels like being on a rollercoaster. My curtains are always closed. I’m trying to spend more time outdoors now because I live in my head.
I think the guy from the shop quit his job
Rn I’m freezing but need windows open for fresh air, they were open all day/night yday.
I used runes, picked three for my past, present and future. They were all good ones, the future mentioned moving house and that it would be a good change. I am arranging to move but don’t know how to feel about it.
I need to go to A&E I feel like I was poisoned or something
Really sick. I dreamt a house was on fire and was trying to wake someone up, I decided to stay in it after getting them out, then a warning came from somewhere that if I kept healing myself with hypnosis then my shadow self would be free.
Headache and disorientation, I can’t focus my eyes on anything, no energy. This is day 1 without Monster.
In the end I ditched Ryan because I stopped trusting him, I didn’t have solid proof so don’t know if it was the right thing to do but I know Virgo men are the most manipulative. Cam was one as well.
It seems weird to me some of my best friends have been guys. Ryan was the closest person to me for two years, then Mik for four years.
Acc idk if I want him or not. He’s only 22 so I admire his courage and older men tend to be more sexist.
I would stop myself to check my heart and it would be beating rapidly but I don’t feel it until I focus on it.
I reviewed my current health conditions and it turns out drinking Monster is contributing to a lot of them. I think I have peripheral neuropathy or possibly diabetes because my right hand feels stiff at times, the fingers feel numb. I have to do something before it reaches my violin hand. What else, my eyes show symptoms of either liver or kidney damage, the Monster could be causing that. There's also my heart problem. Reduced bone density, I fucked up my knee. Caffiene gives me anxiety. Anyway it causes complexion problems and loss of collagen so I'm stopping for good. I always knew it was bad for me but it helped me get off alcohol. Today I bought squash, I'll just switch flavours and try every fruit juice out there to stop drinking Monster. I have hypnosis to stop drinking soda as well but never listened to it because I thought it was okay to have a few guilty pleasures...
