Posts by Lanny

2015-11-01 at 11:28 PM UTC in Do rainbows exist objectively?

Lanny Bird of Courage

Color is a function of the human visual system, and is not an intrinsic property. Objects don't "have" color, they give off light that "appears" to be a color. Spectral power distributions exist in the physical world, but color exists only in the mind of the beholder.

Why? You're just making an assertion with no evidence. Why does color not a property of light? If a red car is not perceived by anything with a visual system does it stop being red? Does it become red again as soon as someone looks at it? You're digging yourself deeper and deeper into an incoherent hole here.

2015-11-01 at 10:46 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition

Lanny Bird of Courage

Tried 4-AcO-DMT for the second time yesterday, think I have a feel for it now. Both times the comeup was pretty brutal, lots of body load, my heart was racing and I was rushing to do everything as if my life depended on it, kept thinking I had messed up the measurement and that it was about to get mind-shatteringly intense. Especially since it's almost instantaneous relative to psychedelics I've tried. After that it was smooth sailing though. It may have just been the dosage but it was a lot less visual that other's I've trie but the mental effects were still there. I didn't get the same urge to go and curl up with music that I usually do so I was able to read and do some work, still have a ton of wikipedia tabs open, and I was digging through someone else's code and I kept feeling like I somehow had a view into their mind, it was pretty shitty though so I felt like detectives in movies who are chasing a murderer and slowing becoming sociopathic themselves, sympathizing with the person they're chasing, except with just writing really byzantine incomprehensible code. It's funny, people talk about AcO being sedating but it sounds and sorta feels more like a stimulant to me in that regard. Tail end was pretty smooth except for some difficulty sleeping even after I thought I was back to baseline, thoughts seemed to flow well, followed them to conclusion, as opposed to the kind of lazy, wandering hypnagogic state.

Oh, and I took your advice malice, did some voice recordings, had some ideas I wanted to remember about a project I've been working on. I'm sure I'm going to die of cringe when I listen to them again. One funny thing is I was talking about haskell-esq "immutable world" semantics, which is just like the idea of recording state change but it poses some issues with recursive "worlds" or like these big state objects which contain themselves or older versions of themselves, both formally and from a performance perspective. Anyway, I'm rambling on about this, how I thought it applied to my problem, and at one point lose my train of thought so I stop the recording, replay it, and realize I'm doing basically what I said in the recording, capturing past state and bringing it forwards. It really amused me so I made another recording laughing about that incident, then I listened to it. Then did it again with respect to the previous recording so I was like caught in a recursive recording loop. Hmm, maybe that's not as funny as I thought, I was pretty amused/freaked out at the time though.

You should reconnect with your Unitarian Universalist roots (not really). Just wait until the time is right/comes for you to experiment with DMT, this tends to have the biggest impact on people once they have the right experience. I wouldn't have expected this development in you, you seemed like the type to bitterly cling to strict rationalism until the end.

I've kicked around the idea, UUs are (arguably) perfectly amenable atheistic members, they did a survey and found that together the number of members who identified as either atheist or secular humanist made up like 60% of the greater congregation. I remember going to church as a kid, just enjoying it because it was like part of a ritual, people seemed happy, I got to play with blocks and listen to stories and shit. Even as a young teenager I'd sit in on the sermons, it was a nice feelgood message, sometimes it covered something I actually found challenging. They do have a kind of core creed that's intentionally very vague and kinds rubs me the wrong way, they actually have a stated commitment to democracy which obviously isn't my cup of tea.

I've gone to the church of John Coltrane before, mostly because it's a novelty and I like the music. I can see the value in it though. I wonder if there's anything like an existentialist pseudo-church. Probably all too into radical freedom and shit to participate in organized activity. Kierkegaard was a christian though, so I guess it's not out of the question.

I planted some poppies a couple days ago and they have already started to sprout. Wonder if they will survive the winter.

Pretty much obsessed with poppies and opiates lately

I also have another project in the works, extracting from coca tea and making it hcl

I'm excited about it.

How much light do poppies need? What's a typical yield per square foot?

2015-11-01 at 9:32 PM UTC in My life sucks so much

Lanny Bird of Courage

Reminded me of this, which I randomly came across today: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-electron_universe

Just somewhat interesting, regardless of plausibility.

Niggerbald Wheeler is a quack who managed to do just enough real physics that the feebleminded are unable to separate that from his jealously guarded pet theories. Yeah, they can be fun to think about sometimes but the frequency with which his and other brands of quantum mysticism get thrown in my face makes it difficult to feel anything but disgust about the guy.

2015-11-01 at 9:18 PM UTC in WWYD if you heard knocking on one of your windows in the middle of the night?

Lanny Bird of Courage

Go see what nigger is waking me up in the middle of the night. If it's a faggot in a ghost costume then I'd just go back to bed and call the cops if they keep it but, but I'd hope it's some qt trying to relive a highschool tryst.

2015-11-01 at 1:43 AM UTC in My life sucks so much

Lanny Bird of Courage

In a way we are all segments of the same hyperspacial structure, which is everything doing everything across all space and time.

Oh god, please don't start doing this in every thread. The other one is already brimming over with your faggotry

2015-11-01 at 12:53 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition

Lanny Bird of Courage

So I got some of those wifi controlled lightbulbs yesterday, like Philips Hue but the chinese knockoffs. The documentation is dogshit and the app is broken but I've spent the day going through tidbits on the internet and doing a little genuine reverse engineering and am pulling together a controller for them. Not particularly complicated work but a lot of trial and error, pretty fun though. My goal is to simulate an offset light/dark cycle. I always go to bed well after it gets dark and get up hours after it gets light so both are kinda difficult (always have been, but it's noticeably worse with my wonky schedule (I actually love the schedule, just not this part of it)). I've used flux for years but there's not much you can do about house lighting, so that's what I'm shooting for, I'll simulate sunset around 10 and gradually wind the light level to black around 1 or 2, then start a simulated sunrise an hour or so before I have to wake up.

"LSD is medicine for the soul." - Albert Hoffman

I feel a bit better today, in a way. LSD can be wonderfully therapeutic, emotionally cleansing. I feel something may be developing within me, like a small sprout, the beginning of regaining some emotions. I'm going to continue and would like to see how this develops. I'm not going to kill myself suddenly, if it does end up happening it likely won't be for a fair amount of time.

Told you so.

The "something developing inside" comment is interesting. I had this experience the first time I tripped and now and then since where I have a moment of "spiritual" belief, like not of the abrahamic god or whatever, but not "secular spirituality" life-affirmation whatever either, like a genuine belief in the supernatural. Nothing specific, not like "salvation is happening in 2020" or "my toaster is sentient" but just like a general sense that there are things in the world which aren't governed by physical laws and such (so it's not even really a coherent concept to begin with). It was pretty unnerving at first, because it wasn't like if you asked me if I believed in that I would say yes, "me" as in the thing which forms words to speak and thinks of an "I" doesn't buy into that, it's all about science, atheism, and fedoras or whatever. But then on some intuitive level I did buy into it, like if you could force me into a situation where I had to act as quickly as possible and where the decision somehow rested on whether or not I believe in the divine I'd have acted in the way that suggests belief (that was an awkward sentence to construct, we don't have very expressive language for this kind of thing). It's pretty brief, like I realize it and within a few seconds I'm like "nah, that's hippy-tier nonsense" but it's just strange to have happen. Anyway, I had a fear early on that I was going to develop an enduring belief like that and eventually convert to judaism or something. Like that religiosity had somehow taken root in my soul was working on my mind.

inb4schizophrenia

Song for you Malice.

You've posted videos from Life is Strange's ST a couple of times although I don't remember if they're the same track or not. Have you played it? What did you think? I remember the early release trailers vaguely and figured it was going to be some pathetic shutin-fodder trying to sell with an overly-cute depressive-pixie-girlfriend (maybe it was just the girl on all the covers looking like whats-her-tits from bioshock infinity) but reviews seem pretty positive since.

2015-10-30 at 11:10 PM UTC in I need to learn more weaboonese.

Lanny Bird of Courage

the slow zoom is pretty disturbing

2015-10-30 at 11:05 PM UTC in An Introduction to Hyperspace

Lanny Bird of Courage

niggers

2015-10-30 at 2:34 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition

Lanny Bird of Courage

Not feeling compassionate today, ay? I am serious sophie, I am going to die, I know it. It's possible that something will change, but I don't feel any hope for it, I don't think it's likely. I just couldn't find anything in life for me, and in a way I am very depressed, alone, and afraid. I have been thinking about this general subject for a long time now, last night I spent a long time meditating on this in the dark before sleep.

I want to do it properly and be sure of my decision. It takes a lot of courage to understand what death is, the finality of ceasing to exist, forever, and to go through with it with no hopes of redemption, an after life, of ever meeting with anyone you knew in this life or experiencing anything ever again. If I can dedicate myself to this and accomplish it as I desire, it will have been my proudest achievement in life, the only thing I will have been proud of, and that is very sad in a way. You should read the works of Thomas Joiner if you're ever interested in the psychology of suicide, it's very interesting in a way, one of the extremes of human existence.

You've gone on similar rants before, I'm not particularly convinced, I don't think anyone else is. You could prove me wrong I suppose but you couldn't fake your suicide as a joke. Merely disappearing wouldn't convince anyone with how often you go on about filming overdose/suicide. Anyway, you're good at finding a reason to avoid much simpler things, I don't think you could ever kill yourself even if you actually wanted to. Which is kind of a curse in a way, you'd be better off if you were sincere, made an actual effort to find some meaning or die trying. Oh well.

Lanny, your father's been given a poor prognosis. It's a depressing subject, but is he the type to read literature to coming to terms with death, on living with a terminal illness, the final moments in life? I was looking for books on this, but of course there's always the pop/best seller list garbage to wade through. There's also been interesting, serious, research on using psychedelics to assist this process. IIRC psilocin/psilocybin was used in one study and very good results were achieved, anxiety toward death was greatly reduced, it gave people a feeling of peace and acceptance. Wouldn't it be interesting if you guided him through sessions? It could genuinely help him, although I feel you may stray from rationality, which is understandable due to the emotional intensity of the subject, and feel offense as if I'm suggesting you conduct an experiment on him. It could really be one of the most wonderful things you could do for a person in his situation, if he's open to it, and give you the final moments together, of deep and genuine connection and understanding, you'd like to have before he passes. If you love and care for someone, don't feel regret for the rest of your life because you didn't make the effort to understand who they truly were, the deepest aspects of their being. You're a good guy, do good things with you life.

He's on so much fentanyl he probably couldn't even hold a book up. Tracheostomized so he can't talk, too out of it to be communicative anyway, even if I thought it was a good idea (supposedly he took acid once when he was younger but I don't think he'd handle psychedelics well these days, even if he wasn't in the hospital and intermittently in pain/sedated) I'd have a hard time getting satisfactory consent and obviously it would have to be done on the downlow since his physician wouldn't allow it and he's in the hospital so I don't think there's any way it could work.

2015-10-29 at 5:33 AM UTC in How to be a Faggot in 27 Easy Steps

Lanny Bird of Courage

Irish Spring, wow, such progress

2015-10-29 at 5:32 AM UTC in Silicone Enhanced Women

Lanny Bird of Courage

^ So you wouldn't stick your dick in any of those girls?

Just not the one with the obscene ass. The others aren't great though, like honestly below average for all women between 18 and 30.

2015-10-28 at 5:52 AM UTC in How to be a Faggot in 27 Easy Steps

Lanny Bird of Courage

Daily reminder that having a penis makes you a faggot.

2015-10-28 at 5:48 AM UTC in Someone help me get this thing going.

Lanny Bird of Courage

There's got to be something off with that code (like how it got copied, not with the code itself necessarily). time.time() should never return zero unless you've messed with the system time. Also where are "pps" and "bps" coming from? Are those spaces supposed to be underscores? And "var = var = expr" is valid syntax but "var = expr = expr" is not (the last line in that snippet) so you should get betting a syntax error out of the before a runtime divide by zero

2015-10-28 at 5:40 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition

Lanny Bird of Courage

BTW, I finally got around to reading The Bell Jar, and it was a terribly mediocre and unfulfilling book that never would have gained its unwarranted recognition if she hadn't committed suicide. Did you notice the very disappointing stereotypical feminine frivolity when you read it?

I enjoy stereotypical feminine frivolity. When I see people are able to live "disconnected from reality" or sheltered such that they don't have to deal with the hardships of a more typical existence I experience a kind of vicarious pleasure. It's not that I want to be like that, but if my participation in society enables someone else to be able to avoid harsh "realities" I consider that a success (not my participation per se, but if the system operates such that a small working class (not marx's idea of the working class, merely a minority group responsible for a majority of productivity in a society) can bear a majority of the load of maintaining said society that's a good thing). Incidentally that's why I like slice of life shit.

Not that I think Plath is really representative of that, in fact I think it shows you took a rather shallow reading of the book. And that's not just me being upset you didn't like it, I don't really care, indeed the frivolousness of a woman of her station and era is part of what's examined critically.

I do like the analogy, though, which I mentioned before:

The fig tree passage always hit me pretty hard, as it does with many middle class young people I suspect.

2015-10-28 at 5:04 AM UTC in Silicone Enhanced Women

Lanny Bird of Courage

>trying to make your ass bigger

Man, I love niggers and all but that's some dumb fucking nigger shit right there, god damn, fucking ape tier shit

2015-10-28 at 4:55 AM UTC in An Introduction to Hyperspace

Lanny Bird of Courage

ITT: autism

2015-10-28 at 4:52 AM UTC in what the fuck is wrong with me??????????

Lanny Bird of Courage

>kiki tattoo
weebs are scary AF

2015-10-28 at 4:51 AM UTC in What Games Are You Currently Playing

Lanny Bird of Courage

Playing XCOM: The Bureau. It's bretty good, not a terribly complicated game but there are some interesting dynamics. I feel like the way squadmates work (don't do anything meaningful unless you're keeping them busy, can't hold a point without abilities and such) misses out on some real depth in terms of maneuvering, playing tactics rather than forcing your way through every encounter with abilities and you giving cover for the cooldown (this situation gets worse as the game goes on) but it's still fun.

Also I know perma-death is supposed to make combat more meaningful but making the game harder for playing poorly is usually a poor dynamic in single player and just makes you play really conservatively.

People still play that game? I thought The Witcher 3 left Skyrimjob in the dust long ago.

Have you played the expansion? If so what did you think? I pirated it because I'm a cheap nigga but it's a great game and I'm considering buying and the expansion to support CDPR

2015-10-28 at 4:41 AM UTC in I haven't logged in for a week

Lanny Bird of Courage

I'm on the fence on whether I want to open the pocket pussy thread or not. It could be interesting in either the absurdly stupid sense or as an actual discussion of living conditions of inmates and the meaning of punishment but I'm afraid it's going to split the difference and be gay as fuck.

2015-10-27 at 6:04 AM UTC in I'm entering SHADOW MODE

Lanny Bird of Courage

What do you mean?

You know how they say when you die you brain releases a bunch of DMT and maybe you have a really intense trip before you finally die? Of course people think that this experience could be exactly that. But we know DMT tolerance builds super fast. So like what if dying on DMT or whatever means your tolerance is high enough if the experience doesn't happen. The analog of this experience, life itself, could be prevented.

Oh, if that wasn't clear my last post was in refrence to Malice's, particularly "Or if you die in that state?"

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