I forgot to mention he also tried to fuck his family dog but his dick was too big.
sounds like a terry pratchett book
Lol what the fuck that's actually him. Amazing.
If you're not aware, this is a book about a guy who has sex-
no
-makes love to a dolphin. I promise it's crazier than you think a book about sex with a dolphin would be. If you want to discover this thrilling read for yourself, please stop reading here.
It starts out simple enough. Our protagonist is a photographer tasked with taking dolphin photos for a local writer. One day he gets into the pool with a dolphin named Ruby, who begins rubbing her 'genital slit' against his leg. This makes him question his sexuality. He decides to try communicating further with the dolphin and manages to teach it basic English within a matter of hours. He also learns to speak a bit of dolphin.
One night he's getting stoned and hears a voice in his head, which he has full blown conversations with. Turns out to be Ruby. They begin having conversations, with Ruby trying to find out more about human life. Eventually he starts learning about dolphin life while alone in his room. At Ruby's advice, he gets naked and starts flopping around on his bed, mimicking the motions of a dolphin at sea, until he has a violent seizure that causes him to break his bed. His roommate comes in wondering what the fuck is going on, and he lies and says he was masturbating, because that's arguably less embarrassing than seizing out due to delusions of becoming an astral dolphin.
Ruby continues to masturbate on him, and a few times while nobody is watching he uses his hands. The author goes through GREAT lengths to illustrate that the dolphin was coming on to him. He never had much luck with women. The one relationship he had in the book ends when he eats some old food around the stove burner. Like the stuff that falls out when you stir to hard. He argues with his girlfriend saying it was perfectly good food. By this point it is clear that the mentality of a dolphin is getting to him. Multiple times he mentions how dolphin pussy is smoother and more silky than any girl in playboy magazine.
Eventually he does have sex with the dolphin, and it is extremely romantic. "This isn't just sex, it's love, it's passion". Fuck. I cannot believe I read this far. The dolphin sex scene is like a whole chapter by itself. They have some trouble finding a good position at first but finally manage to fuck underwater. The dolphin apparently surfaces for air so that he can breathe, 'understanding his needs'. God.
He then leaves for a job and the dolphin ends up dying of loneliness about 6 months later. They don't give a reason whatsoever. "It just died." He then begins to commune with the dolphin again, through the afterlife. It doesn't seem to understand it's death. Just one stage to the next. At one point it tries to get him to stop breathing or moving in an attempt to kill him and bring him to the afterlife.
Evidently 25 years later and he still hallucinates conversations with this dolphin whenever he visits a beach. He becomes Wiccan and equates the voices to the closest thing he has to God.
All and all this is the weirdest book I have ever fucking read and I am disgusted with how much of it I didn't skim through. I only intended on flipping through to the sex scene out of curiosity but I should've known better when the prologue said shit like "I DID NOT INTEND TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A FUCKING DOLPHIN".
10/10 would recommend
2020-01-03 at 4:54 PM UTC
in
Physical collections
lol @ hikki still defending poverty discs
Meanwhile I'm just sitting here feeling the music in my bones
feels good
no good ideas so far
keep trying guys
China and Russia are 100% not entering ww3 with America over Iran.
Hitler only got his ass kicked because he wanted all of Europe. Europeans, Russians, and Americans didn't step in till they had to. Right now we have genocide going on and nobody really cares too much.
Iran would get demolished in a global war.
2020-01-03 at 6:54 AM UTC
in
Physical collections
I dont read cd fag posts lol. Cant take a guy with a cd collection seriously. Honestly just throw them out, do yourself a favor.
