One year later, All the dust is clear and i've reflected and seen everythinng differently looking at it from each angle of that day, where I think I would be a year later etc. I think my past self would be impressed what i mangeget to accomplish and manage in that time. And i'm grafeful to have been alowed to gotten to drive again (the car could habe been a loss, or worse). I think I learned and grown and am better off.
I think maybe once in a while i'll start driving on short, pointless scenic road trips like the one I was driving that day, pull over on a deserted area of a field and take out this cool chair that i bought, and just sit there in serene peace for a while looking at the clouds/sky
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The sadness will probably destroy me for a few years... I'm gonna make an attempt to save a little bit of etiz for each of their funerals + a couple uses in general when I find out. Feels grim & "guilty" to have some set aside and sitting around for that but i'll need it...
I should have some lines ready to repeat to myself to feel better like "they would rather have died before me than see me die before them"
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I'm tired and I have to go to that stupid shitty ass shithole after getting up early and working at the job that doesn't suck dick today, I feel like I wanna vent a little anger...
I'm talking about one of the things that's already at the table, like the salt shaker, but I think they could break that free so maybe superglue the top of the ketchup bottle shut + stuck to the bottle.
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I sold a pair or raybans I didn't want anymore there for $9. I don't remember alot of that forum but I remember someone made an offer to draw a picture for a sample of 2C-something.
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Originally posted by Solstice
Today was my only full day off in two weeks and I fully intended to treat myself to sitting around getting high and doing fuck all but instead ended up cleaning pretty much the whole house without realizing it then I put in 3 hours volunteering at the local animal shelter and spent 2 hours at the gym after that. That fucking Vyvanse hit good today.
Your a saint for volunteering 🏅
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Every time I set some pills aside for future situations when I'd have anxiety I'd always end up using it before then for boredom/no reason. I'm trying to use this long probation break to mentally train and build up the willpower to keep a reserve stash of benzos to only be used for good reason. Because knowing you have it for times you'll need it is just as rewarding of a feeling as being on it just fuckin around for no reason.
I think I'll make some plans, and smoke some weed / do nitrous / etc instead of touching the reserve stash. But i'll still have a seperate general use stash thats for recreation.
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