Originally posted by Solstice
I volunteer at the animal shelter, go to the gym like 5 times a week, lift weights at home, go on hikes, meditate, and it all comes up short; I still remain trapped in my head and feeling panicked and overwhelmed and unprepared all the time. Constant sense of dread and insecurity. I even tried to develop a faith in God for a short while out of desperation but my heart and soul weren't into it because I know better. None of it works beyond the short term, and often times not at all. My brain is destroyed from prolonged stress, drug use, poor self care and overexposure to the shittiness of life. I don't expect to see 2020 to tell you the truth and I'm becoming more okay with that each passing day.
Get a hold of yourself faggot. Like I said you actually have to exercise some willpower over your brain. You are just hurtling through life on a wave of thoughts and emotions. Get it together bitch. Did nobody ever teach you how to metacognate?
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Originally posted by mmQ
Ok. I'm not familiar with it. I cant get into Canada what with their weird DUI law but if this hotel is what you say it is I guess I dont have to.
Let's do it. My body is ready.
Hes gonna pick your pants locks
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I need to get really drunk and go to treatment , but I need an intervention. But I need to be drunk to agree with it. Otherwise I wont want to. But if I'm fucked up I'll be like "yeah yeah totally. Good idea. Yes. I will go to treatment right now. I love it!" And then I'll wake up like when you wake up in a jail cell after blackout DUI and collect yourself and ask why the fuck am I here how did I get here ?
It's perfect. Its thr only way I will ever get "help."
But I also dont care. Drinking brings me adventures. I sound dumb. Sorry. :(
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Originally posted by mmQ
POST HIS CHILD PORN HISTORY
It all began as an innocent choir boy at The Church of the Holy Rood in Manchester UK...one day the choir master asked him to stay behind to help him polish the pews...
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Even though my depression came back im glad im off Crouton. It causes mental retardation and i didnt listen to music for like an entire year when i was on it . It made me content with who i am and my living situation, but i realize now that it was just stagnating me in a state of never growing. Being able to experience sadness is a good thing, it feels bad but its necessary for retrospection and growth. Im grateful for the suffering, theres no other as powerful motivating force in human psychology to push a person to evolve. Realizing how fucked up i am (in the ways that arent cool) is the first step to progress
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quite literally sent this message to panthrax right about the same time you posted this thread
right now I'm building a raspberry pi + night vision camera and trying to get it to host an SSID on 5G so I can strap it to a drone and stream high-latency FPV video. If it works I'll also attach nichrome wire to some of the GPIOs so I can remotely fire roman candles off it
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and yeah, Zelensky was largely elected to stop the war and try to normalise relations with Russia - it's what the people seem to want, but the people don't really have any immediate political power. Kolomoiski only really cares about himself and his fortune but I think he's come to realise the west isn't going to save him. in the past he's actually used his influence to have the Volunteer Battalions clear people from land under the guise of military operations so that his companies could use it for mining or oil drilling operations.
A quote I like is that 'even if the entire outside world were to disappear, the fighting in the Ukraine would only intensify' - there's simply too little plunder and too many scavengers. more of the people in power seem to be realising the situation is untenable
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I want to talk about Kolomoiski and how funny what is happening to him is anyway though.
Basically when the Maidan 'protests' were in full swing, he saw the government falling apart and was terrified Russia was going to invade and save them. To protect his factories and profits in the central-east, he raised the first 'volunteer battalions' by invoking nationalism among the poor and disaffected youth. When it became obvious Russia wasn't invading, he didn't want to keep paying them so he palmed them off to the new 'state', who paid them salaries and used them as a paramilitary force.
Anyway, skip to today and he's still one of the biggest and most politically involved oligarchs in the country. He's backed by the US and has largely backed Zelensky (the current President), who won the election on the basis that the people want the war (or 'anti-terrorist operation) to stop, but the real powerbrokers (the aforementioned volunteer battalions as well as competing oligarchs like Tymoshenko as well as the US foreign policy establishment) need it to go on. Keep in mind that Kolomoisky does not really want to stop the war either but he doesn't want to lose his entire fortune or his life.
The volunteer battalions have turned on him (partially because of his overwhelming j'ewry and partially because he backed a President who wants to stop the war) - the groups he raised have been making death threats against him and leaving bloody effigies of him all over Kiev.
As a result, he's now openly talking about rapprochement with Moscow, which puts him firmly in the crosshairs. Well, more than before.
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