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Posts by gadzooks
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2019-07-07 at 9:52 PM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by Octavian I snorted Cocaine from 8pm Fri - Sunday 8am.
EPIC-FAIL.
The first step really is simply labeling it as a 'failure' of sorts, but just don't let it turn into "I failed, and therefore I am a failure".
At the end of the day, when it comes to substance use / addiction, I'll pretty much always be a lucky hypocrite in that my end goal isn't to abstain permanently from alcohol - but rather to minimize the negative side effects (i.e. harm reduction).
Where the luck comes into play is that there's just something about alcohol that allows me use it with a certain degree of moderation. I do get "drunk"/intoxicated when I drink, but I generally don't feel compelled to go full-on binge mode, and thus can manage to live a (more-or-less) "normal" life for the most part.
So, I'll never be able to be any kind of sobriety role model.
But I can definitely relate on some level with anyone's addiction, even if it's a drug I've never felt all that compelled to take consistently. -
2019-07-07 at 9:39 PM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by HTS I kinda figured that's where you were, and I'm really glad that I was correct in my assessment. Sounds like your apartment getting flooded with dirty poopwater cleansed all the metaphorical dirty poopwater from your life, at least for the time being, and that's awesome. 💖
The fates have spoken.
And they did it via poopwater.
#scatomancy -
2019-07-07 at 9:35 PM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by Nil w8, does this mean gadzooks finished his wordclouds?
They're on my TODO list.
Actually, I had a lot of NiS and Totse/Zoklet related projects in the works.
One of my major accomplishments during my recent month of sobriety was just wrangling all of my hobby projects and assigning quantifiable priority ratings to each task so I can focus better.
At the top of that list are things aimed at finding gainful employment, but I haven't forgotten everything else. -
2019-07-07 at 9:32 PM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by billfred Gigantic post that basically said, "I am a sober queer now"
Originally posted by Erekshun And a quitter.
Lol, pretty much.
But also not entirely accurate since I did drink last night.
Wait, am I a quitter for quitting liquor? Or a quitter for quitting quitting last night?
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2019-07-07 at 9:31 PM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by Nil I have 2 sisters, one is pretty unstable and i have a hard time keeping in touch with her. the other one doesn't help either and when i did attempt to get some help in 2017 fucked me over massively. So yea not much help.
I've been trying to convince the old man to go to one of my sisters for 2 weeksish because i'm losing my mind over here. it's like pulling teeth. i dunno why. starting to resent him and i hate it.
I think that resentment thing is a totally normal result of this kind of scenario. It's like a natural human need to direct frustration at another human being, and clearly this kind of thing is going to result in a certain degree of frustration eventually.
Originally posted by Nil I'll keep it in mind, last and only time i was in bc was in 2015, vancouver. Flew in to see bolt thrower. It was nice but it feels like a fucking decade ago. the ocean, the coast. ahh.
I like all of Canada, but I especially love the west coast.
Maybe it's influenced by bias since I grew up here, but, there's something about the eclectic mix of scenery you get out here (oceans, mountains, lots of forests and parks, the metropolitan allure of Vancouver - although I don't much like densely populated areas, but at least it's there if I need it). -
2019-07-07 at 9:24 PM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by JÏ…icebox My mental health is noticeably better when I drink, but much worse when I drink too much
This times a million.
The thought of full blown unending sobriety for the rest of my life is downright depressing.
And drinking in and of itself is actually not that problematic for me. I just need to somehow control each and every factor that leads me to drink more than I need. Of course, that's a lot easier said than done. -
2019-07-07 at 8:05 PM UTC in I missed a chance to buy Belle Delphine's bathwater
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2019-07-07 at 7:38 AM UTC in anyone here ever eat a fuckload of immodium to get high
Originally posted by Bill Krozby if it doesn't pass the bbb how does it get you high?
It doesn't. That's the whole conundrum.
If you can somehow get it directly into your brain (like.,. Via a hole in the top of your skull.,. Not even remotely practical in the real world).,. Then you're all set (in theory at least).
But in the real world, immodium will do nothing but constipate. -
2019-07-07 at 7:23 AM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by JÏ…icebox Nice. My mindset didn't change at all when I was not drinking, if anything it got worse
But now that I'm drinking, but not overdoing it, seems to be better than it was
It's certainly helping my finances. I nearly bankrupted myself being out of work two weeks after I'd just spent almost 3k on stuff I really didn't need
My problem was, I'd get drunk and buy a bunch of dumb shit off the internet
When I said you always remind me of myself... Add one more to the mix...
Yeah I have a serious issue when it comes to managing money. Not too long ago, I was drunk and went on Amazon and bought an Epson salt / massaging foot bath (which I have yet to even use), and a bunch of totally unnecessary supplements the next paycheck (which I have yet to take).
And I'm not even counting when I spend a fortune on liquor or drugs when I could just as easily pass the fuck out. -
2019-07-07 at 7:10 AM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by Nil well i've been trying to take care of my dad for the last 3 years but it's proving to be too much. but i don't know what to do it's just i don't want 10 years to pass like these last 3 and wonder where my life went
That's a pretty tough situation. Family is important, and, even though I would describe my relationship with my own parents as strained/complicated, I'd still feel a certain obligation to take care of them if there was no one else to do so.
But you do deserve "you time".
If it ever gets to be seemingly insurmountable, take a vacation before you totally lose it. Like, even message me on here or some other way (I'll PM you my email address at least), and we'll figure something out.
You're only a hop, skip, and a jump from my neck of the woods (well.. Like a 12 hour drive or something like that.,. Still a neighbour of sorts). -
2019-07-07 at 7:03 AM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by JÏ…icebox I quit drinking for two weeks, four if you count being in the psych ward
I'm back to drinking again but I got this little safe with a time lock on it, so I just buy a reasonable amount of alcohol on the way home, then throw my wallet in there once I start drinking
That's some Nobel-prize tier shit.
I've actually thought of getting a safe for this exact same purpose, but I didn't even think of also locking my money up too (just the drugs).
That was moreso back in my opiate and benzodiazepine days.,. When I was hitting that opiate/benzodiazepine/liquor trifecta, such extreme measures were necessary.
But I definitely know that need for such measures all to well. If it works for you, keep at it.
Tonight is my first night back on the drink this whole month, so it's an experiment... But I have a certain level of confidence and well being right now that I'd have otherwise not reached had I not made some some large scale life changes recently.
Whatever the case, good luck to you. I've always liked you. In one way or another, you've always kinda reminded me of myself. -
2019-07-07 at 6:49 AM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...
Originally posted by Nil hey zooks, glad you're happy. i'm not a fan of change but am going to have to make a hard choice, the sooner seems better. but i waver.
Elaborate mang...
I'm by no means in a position to prescribe any specific life advice, but I do like to offer up some general, one-size-(might)-fit-all nuggets of wisdom. -
2019-07-07 at 6:29 AM UTC in anyone here ever eat a fuckload of immodium to get highThe funny thing about loperamide (immodium) is that it is an INCREDIBLY potent opioid (think fentanyl levels), but the problem is that it won't pass the BBB (blood brain barrier).
It's like a tragic tease to any opiate lover.
I remember a time when I was researching the logistics of (DIY) surgically affixing my own cannula directly into my cranial cavity for a constant loperamide drip.,.
I haven't done any opiates in years, but there was a time.,. Oh boy, there was a time.,. -
2019-07-07 at 6:15 AM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...Ok, not gonna lie, the ellipsis word enhancement is kind of annoying.
I generally don't mind them, but caps locked letters and repeated punctuation is kinda cringe. -
2019-07-07 at 6:13 AM UTC in 28 (sober) days later...I just did four full weeks of the sober life.
My ultimate goal was not simply being sober all that time (although I did achieve that), but rather scratching a bunch of things off the old TODO list, and staying sober has helped me achieve said goal.
Not only that, but the whole thing gave me a whole lot of fresh perspective.
For one thing, I now know how toxic/detrimental my recent living conditions were against any kind of positive and beneficial growth.
This last month, I've been holed up at my mom's house two towns over, and have been blessed with all kinds of serenity and peace from the homeless hordes and their sketchy scandalous ways.
I got a fuck ton done during this time... made serious strides towards some longstanding, often stagnant, life goals. And fourdaysweeks of sobriety has giving me some life-changing perspective.
In the interest of full disclosure: I'm sippin' a lil' sumthin' right now, ngl... tbh...
But I planned this weeks ago so it's all good.
I've been wandering around my old stomping grounds tonight, absorbing the nostalgia and just enjoying the change of venue.
Moral of the story... If you ever feel like life isn't quite treating you right, change things up. It's a miracle panacea for whatever ails ya. Trust me on that. -
2019-06-08 at 5:20 AM UTC in homosexuals piss me off
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2019-06-08 at 5:15 AM UTC in homosexuals piss me off
Originally posted by HikikomoriYume0 Here is the thing, homosexuality is not an orientation, it's a mental illness.
Pedophilia is not an orientation, it's an age preference.
Lmao.
I just can't take you seriously anymore.
Also... I'm literally the last nigga that's gonna play devil's advocate for a pedophile, and you still get defensive?
I'm becoming less and less passionate about this particular cause with each passing day. -
2019-06-08 at 5:09 AM UTC in homosexuals piss me off
Originally posted by HikikomoriYume0 That's not it at all.
They want to legitimize their mental illness, spread it and warp reality to suit their mental illness.
People like me know our fetishes are just that and we keep them to ourselves.
Dude... One man's mental illness is another man's sexual orientation. -
2019-06-08 at 4:58 AM UTC in homosexuals piss me offI just figured you'd have a more open mind considering what you're into.
Like, the gays are just trynna do what we all trynna do.
Is it the fact that they get to flaunt their homosexuality, but people into loli's and shota's and what not can't express it openly? -
2019-06-08 at 4:49 AM UTC in homosexuals piss me off
