The only time I got caught shoplifting was, ironically, when I didn't actually go to the store intending to take anything. Electronics store like 6 years ago, Black Friday sale. I call the store to make sure they have a particular item. Dude says yes. I say "can you please check in the back just to make sure you have at least two of them? I'm not close so I don't want to come down for nothing, on hold 10 min, dude comes back, says yes they have them. I thank him, make my purchase online for in store pickup, and pay a friend to drive me to the store. Walk to the place where you're supposed to pick up stuff, give them my order number. They fumble around for 15-20 min, then tell me they don't have it, and haven't had it for a couple weeks. I'm pretty annoyed at this point. I ask them to call me when they get the item. A guy offers to dig around in the back room. Another half hour, standing there talking to my friend like "I honestly can't believe this shit".Dude comes back with nothing. I go to speak to the manager, she doesn't want to give me a rain check. She doesn't offer an apology. She has no explanation for why I could buy an in-stock item on their website, only to come to the store and no one has any idea wtf is going on. She says the money will be returned to my card in 5-7 business days. I say that's unacceptable since this was supposed to be a birthday present, in FOUR days, and I don't have money to buy anything else. She doesn't care.
Long story shorter, I was so fucking mad that I pocketed a $3 SATA cable on general principle. It felt like after spending $20 on a ride, $240 on their website, and an hour and a half of my time being leg around by the dick, I had to do something. Well of course LP stopped me 5 feet outside the door. I told them they were a joke, tossed the cable back inside and tossed a crinkled $5 bill in there for good measure. I refused to go back with them, so they followed me for a few blocks and then called the local police dept. the police sent FIVE fucking cruisers (my friend was still in the parking lot. I didn't walk back to his car bc I knew LP was waiting for license number and I didn't want him involved in my bullshit). Anyway, eventually I just walk far enough down that LP doesn't want to risk being that far from the store and that close to me. But the police are cruising up and down the streets like they're looking for an escaped convict. I find a house that's having a house party, and I toss my overshirt into the bushes and pick up a beer can someone had on the driveway. Then I sit there outside and mess with my phone like some drunk dude trying to text someone. The police passed me another 3 or 4 times but never thought to stop me. I waited 45 min or so, then had my friend pick me up,
Remember when I gave them my order number though? Yeah that had all my info on it. Tbf though, I didn't intend to steal anything so if was the furthest thing from my mind, nor did I think the store that essentially stiffed me for $240 would have the gall to pursue me over $3.
Live and learn.
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gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Originally posted by Dregs
I have been with over 50 men.
I fucked fifty men!
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Originally posted by mashlehash
What're you talking about?
She’s a detective and we snoopin and shoopin
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gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple pussy eater.
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Spore mass slurry:
Bring 1 gallon of water to a boil, mix in one table spoon of molasses, and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Allow to cool and then mix in spores. Spores should germinate after 3 days to a week. This can then be used to inoculate cardboard or any other kind of spawn.
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Originally posted by mmQ
Hamdle me
I'll hamdle you in the bushes real quick bro.
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Hamdle me
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I just genuinely told my stuffed lamb to stop being weird. I'm deep into this drunk session. Probably my last post.
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I used to steal babby formula from them all the time. Like I'd literally go in and pretend to talk on the phone and put like 5 bottles of the 35 dollar shit in my awesome coat with many big pockets. Hahahahahaha I still have all the formula
Like it's been 5 years. I have it.
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When I had a strong sex drive I once met this girl on an app. I dont remember the app but I fuxking drove like 15 miles into the country and stopped at the closest gas station to buy condoms and I got there and it was literally a 400 pound girl with a moustache and
I did go in. I was already there. I went in and she was like wanna shower? And I said ok. So we got naked and showered and then I knew this was retarded so i told her i have to move my car and i just left.
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Originally posted by hydromorphone
You may have low testosterone. It starts decreasing in men at 30, I believe.
Malice wrote about it years ago. It happens to a lot of men. Hell, especially to men who've been on opioids for years and years. I seen a marked difference with my piece of shit ex of 11 years when he took the testosterone I had ordered from an online pharmacy malice had recommended. The only problem was is that he went overboard and began taking a shit ton of it ,and not cycling it properly, then he became and even bigger piece of shit asshole nigger, and being way more aggressive, and rapey. He was always rapey, and hell, raped me for at least 8 years in my sleep, but it got a lot worse then.
It could help IF DONE correctly. Just a thought… one are dear old friend Malice would approve of.
I mean in general om fine with it. Like, I dont care about fuxking . Obviously in the right circumstance I do, but mostly, I dont.
And that's not me
That's not the real me.
But maybe it is now.
Like ove said before when I DO fuck , after I cum, I instantly dont care about sex anymore. Like HATE it.
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Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
Originally posted by Octavian
The guy on the left is literally mash
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Originally posted by blaster master
Keep cheese breasts away from here plz.
Yeah i just pictured a grilled chicken breast with some bubbly muenster and fontina cheese on top, on a roll with lettuce and tomato.
Mmmmmmmmm.
Im fat
lol
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Everything is better with an egg on top of it, dad.
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CHOOOOOTIE
choots in boots
Chootie with the bootie
Choo choo
Chooms
Lil fluffo
For starters
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Originally posted by Solstice
When you're uncomfortable talking about things other than drugs because you're a massive faggot
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2019-05-01 at 8:17 PM UTC
in
Police Helicopter over Me
its jeff's hunter on the way to walnut's creek hes meeting lanny at black's bear diner
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