don't try stealing from walmart

1. 2019-05-07 at 11:28 PM UTC

   #41
   Helladamnleet African Astronaut [impartially tyrannize that lentinus]

   Originally posted by WellHung Helladamnleet just likes arguing with people that's why he always plays Devil's Advocate

   
   OP didn't get tackled by walmart security. It didn't happen. Simple as that. There isn't an argument because it literally did not happen.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • The Self Taught Man
2. 2019-05-07 at 11:32 PM UTC

   #42
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
   This other time a guy pulled about 10 packs of batteries off the shelf hooks and put them into his jacket pockets and walked straight out. When I approached him outside, he knew right away who I was and said, "Hi!" I told him he was under arrest for shoplifting and asked him to accompany me back into the store. Instead of complying, he asked me if I knew who he was. I told him I didn't give a fuck who he was and repeated he was under arrest. He then pulled out an RCMP badge, showed it to me, and warned me I didn't have the authority to arrest him. I told him we'd figure all that out up at the security office, but he again warned me, saying that if I did arrest him, I would get arrested myself for arresting a cop on duty. After a few minutes of back and forth bullshit, I told him he could either wait for the cops outside, or he was getting dragged back into the store in cuffs, if he resisted. He told me he was armed. I told him I didn't give a fuck, but that he better comply. Finally, when he saw I meant to follow through and nail him to the pavement if he walked away, he followed me back to the office, and tried to dump the merch into an aisle display, at which point I picked the merch back out and held his arm and led him upstairs. When the cops got there, they looked at his badge and just started shaking their heads, but when they called it in, they found out he really was an RCMP cop, and armed. They confiscated his weapon and wrote him out a promise to appear and released him. He pled guilty, because I had him on security tape stealing the merch and walking out, and he knew he couldn't beat it.
3. 2019-05-07 at 11:35 PM UTC

   #43
   Helladamnleet African Astronaut [impartially tyrannize that lentinus]

   Originally posted by -SpectraL This other time a guy pulled about 10 packs of batteries off the shelf hooks and put them into his jacket pockets and walked straight out. When I approached him outside, he knew right away who I was and said, "Hi!" I told him he was under arrest for shoplifting and asked him to accompany me back into the store. Instead of complying, he asked me if I knew who he was. I told him I didn't give a fuck who he was and repeated he was under arrest. He then pulled out an RCMP badge, showed it to me, and warned me I didn't have the authority to arrest him. I told him we'd figure all that out up at the security office, but he again warned me, saying that if I did arrest him, I would get arrested myself for arresting a cop on duty. After a few minutes of back and forth bullshit, I told him he could either wait for the cops outside, or he was getting dragged back into the store in cuffs, if he resisted. He told me he was armed. I told him I didn't give a fuck, but that he better comply. Finally, when he saw I meant to follow through and nail him to the pavement if he walked away, he followed me back to the office, and tried to dump the merch into an aisle display, at which point I picked the merch back out and held his arm and led him upstairs. When the cops got there, they looked at his badge and just started shaking their heads, but when they called it in, they found out he really was an RCMP cop, and armed. They confiscated his weapon and wrote him out a promise to appear and released him. He pled guilty, because I had him on security tape stealing the merch and walking out, and he knew he couldn't beat it.

   
   MHMMMMMMMMM.
4. 2019-05-07 at 11:39 PM UTC

   #44
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
   You wouldn't believe the things I've been through and seen in my ten years working LP. It would blow your mind. The incidents I've described are tame, compared to the things I've been through. You get to see the real life underneath the illusion. Terrible things nobody even wants to see. People at their worst. Desperate people with nothing to lose.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • WellHung
5. 2019-05-07 at 11:43 PM UTC

   #45
   WellHung Black Hole
   Amen.
6. 2019-05-07 at 11:44 PM UTC

   #46
   WellHung Black Hole
   I imagine that you've got beaten up several times yourself, Spectral.
7. 2019-05-07 at 11:54 PM UTC

   #47
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

   Originally posted by WellHung I imagine that you've got beaten up several times yourself, Spectral.

   
   Actually, I'm the best street fighter you ever saw. Always have been, ever since I was a teenager. I've never lost a fight, and I've been in hundreds. By the time K-Mart closed all its stores in Canada, my knuckles had dozens of hairline fractures all across, my knees were starting to get fucked, my elbows had fractures, scars all over my body, sore as all fuck. I don't think I could have kept it up much longer anyways. Working LP at a busy and large department store, you have to endure epic, all-out fights in the parking lot every couple of days at least. It's crazy. Nobody wants to go in willingly. About one out of five perps fight all the way and throw punches, and often, they have friends who also jump in, so you're often three or four to one. I've been dragged across the parking lot at high speed from the driver's side, trying to get the vehicle into neutral, nailed in the head and face a thousand times, kicked, scratched, choked, but none ever got away, not one, and I never lost a single fight the whole time.
8. 2019-05-07 at 11:59 PM UTC

   #48
   We'reAllBrownNosers African Astronaut

   Originally posted by -SpectraL Actually, I'm the best street fighter you ever saw. Always have been, ever since I was a teenager. I've never lost a fight, and I've been in hundreds. By the time K-Mart closed all its stores in Canada, my knuckles had dozens of hairline fractures all across, my knees were starting to get fucked, my elbows had fractures, scars all over my body, sore as all fuck. I don't think I could have kept it up much longer anyways. Working LP at a busy and large department store, you have to endure epic, all-out fights in the parking lot every couple of days at least. It's crazy. Nobody wants to go in willingly. About one out of five perps fight all the way and throw punches, and often, they have friends who also jump in, so you're often three or four to one. I've been dragged across the parking lot at high speed from the driver's side, trying to get the vehicle into neutral, nailed in the head and face a thousand times, kicked, scratched, choked, but none ever got away, not one, and I never lost a single fight the whole time.

   
   China town area right? I'm going to look into this. They must have some stories about you.
9. 2019-05-08 at 12:06 AM UTC

   #49
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

   Originally posted by We'reAllBrownNosers China town area right? I'm going to look into this. They must have some stories about you.

   
   I had three stores, which I was authorized to "float" between. So part of the day, I'd work at one store, then work at another store the rest of the day. Some days I'd work at one store, and some days work at another. I'd follow the action, by investigating the inventory reports closely. Just had to punch my time card in and out at each store. No supervision whatsoever. My boss was in another city. Other than the violence and the constant sad pictures of reality, it was actually a great job. Nobody bothers you. You take breaks and lunches when you want. You spend some days just sitting in court reading a good book. The pay is great. If you don't mind disarming people with knives and clubs in the parking lot or rolling around throwing punches in a ditch a half-mile away, it's a great line of work, of which there will never be a shortage of.
10. 2019-05-08 at 12:15 AM UTC

    #50
    

    Dregs African Astronaut [that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
    if this all is supposed to scare me...its NOT working. I ain't scared...seriously...
11. 2019-05-08 at 12:16 AM UTC

    #51
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Dregs if this all is supposed to scare me…its NOT working. I ain't scared…seriously…

    
    Hear that spectral she ain’t scared. Wash her mouth out with soap for using your line. Lol
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • -SpectraL
12. 2019-05-08 at 12:19 AM UTC

    #52
    

    Dregs African Astronaut [that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
    hey hey now. i ain't steal nobodies shit/line/money...whatever. no more bumping this thread maybe he won't read this. hmmm if i disappear...someone avenge my death? maybe?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • -SpectraL
13. 2019-05-08 at 2:44 AM UTC

    #53
    Shrooms Houston

    Originally posted by Dissociator Ive stolen about 45 benzedrex inhalers and maybe 10 pairs of panties from walmad successfully

    
    Bro you still take big whiff of crusty panties at work?
14. 2019-05-08 at 3:52 AM UTC

    #54
    

    BummyMofo African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Helladamnleet OP didn't get tackled by walmart security. It didn't happen. Simple as that. There isn't an argument because it literally did not happen.

    
    Nigga you stupid
15. 2019-05-08 at 4:07 AM UTC

    #55
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I used to steal babby formula from them all the time. Like I'd literally go in and pretend to talk on the phone and put like 5 bottles of the 35 dollar shit in my awesome coat with many big pockets. Hahahahahaha I still have all the formula
    Like it's been 5 years. I have it.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • mashlehash
16. 2019-05-08 at 4:08 AM UTC

    #56
    

    BummyMofo African Astronaut

    Originally posted by mmQ I used to steal babby formula from them all the time. Like I'd literally go in and pretend to talk on the phone and put like 5 bottles of the 35 dollar shit in my awesome coat with many big pockets. Hahahahahaha I still have all the formula
    Like it's been 5 years. I have it.

    
    Have you ever been addressed as a "Clepto" before
17. 2019-05-08 at 4:10 AM UTC

    #57
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by BummyMofo Have you ever been addressed as a "Clepto" before

    
    No. And its KLEPTO.
18. 2019-05-08 at 4:17 AM UTC

    #58
    

    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    This one time I see this guy going up the stairs into the personnel office, and I ask around on the floor and find out he's doing an interview for an assistant manager position. About an hour later, I see him out on the floor looking at items on the shelves, and after asking around a bit, I find out the interview is not over yet, that the personnel manager and him are just taking a timeout for lunch. I get a strong hunch, so I go up to one of the viewing ports in the sub ceiling and grab the binoculars and start tracking him through various departments. He picks up a few items and goes to the cash and purchases them. Then he comes back onto the floor, with the bag in hand, walks directly up to right below the viewing port, and I mean directly underneath, grabs two personal hygiene items off the shelf and drops them in the bag. He then goes into the cafeteria and orders something and sits down and eats it, and I'm watching him with the binoculars the whole time. Finally, he finishes his food and goes back up the stairs to the personnel manager's office, bag in hand.
    
    So I pick up the staff phone and make a call through to the personal manager's office upstairs, all the while, I'm looking up through the glass into the office and I can see them both sitting at her desk. The personnel manager picks up, and I let her know the guy she was interviewing was about to be arrested for shoplifting, and told her not to tell him he got the job. She was flustered, but kept her composure, all the while the guy is sitting five feet away from her on the other side of her desk, waiting for her to end the call with me. I told her to just carry on as usual and not to tip him off. A little while later, he comes down the steps and heads to the front door and exits. I show him my badge and tell him he's under arrest for shoplifting, and when I walked him back in, the personnel manager was right there, and he just put his head down way low and walked by her, with her glaring at him like he was a monster.
19. 2019-05-08 at 4:21 AM UTC

    #59
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I don’t know how I’ve never gotten caught shoplifting. I didn’t even know people could spy through the ceiling...
20. 2019-05-08 at 4:23 AM UTC

    #60
    WellHung Black Hole

    Originally posted by -mal- I don’t know how I’ve never gotten caught shoplifting. I didn’t even know people could spy through the ceiling…

    
    Don't think, sweetheart...just sexually satisfy males.