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Posts by CASPER
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2019-12-29 at 5:49 AM UTC in Why is it with women the older they are (particularly pollack and slacic ones)
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2019-12-29 at 1:42 AM UTC in JP blog 12-28-2019
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2019-12-28 at 9:26 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..Fat(er). Gained back ten of my lbs since I started having this withdrawal stuff. I feel nauseous all day, and the only thing that makes it feel better is eating. Upset stomach meds helped too, but I had to take like 7x the dose to do anything.
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2019-12-28 at 9:14 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion š©š
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2019-12-28 at 9:05 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
Originally posted by CandyRein He never really said anything about my looks, not that I recall
And be definitely was digging the LED kicks because he borrowed them for his QuinceaƱera, just yesterday…
Ot
About to go grab the cheeses that I need for this lasagna..
Idr if it was in tinychat or text, but i had asked something along the lines of why he fucked with you so much, and he said something along the lines of āits easy. Not really my type but id prolly eat her butt for some blinky shoesā or something. Lol.
Esta un loquisimo borracho. A veces el no cree lo que decirlo. La marijuana y metamfetamina podrida el cerebro y ahora toda el dia, ese maricon esta enojado y piensando como la verga -
2019-12-28 at 6:03 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
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2019-12-28 at 4:55 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
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2019-12-28 at 4:54 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
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2019-12-28 at 4:54 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
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2019-12-28 at 4:47 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)i Guess Iām still physically dependent, but I just took my dose for the first time since Thursday bc Ā§mĀ£ĆgĆL mentioned it and I remembered. The mental asp3ct was always hardest for me.
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2019-12-28 at 4:45 PM UTC in Merry Christmas- get down on it...
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2019-12-28 at 4:43 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace How do you think you'll do when you're off the methadone?
Took me a while but I haven't done Crouton in a while and I stopped vaping nicotine or smoking weed.
Going to try switching to kava and cut out drinking altogether. I regret every time I drink.
I think Iāll be cool. I mean it might not be quite as easy, but I think Iāve laid a solid foundation. And I Sort of doubt 22mg a day is having any really profound mental effect. I was on methadone for a whole year while I was still using, and it never helped shit airside from the withdrawals. It look a lot of pieces falling into place to get my head where I am now. Also, I know thereās just no alternative. I was numbed a good deal but I was miserable. I wanted to cease to e itās every single day f the last 10 years, and thatās kinda exactly what happened. I just stopped being me. If god forbid I did relapse, Iād just kill myself. I canāt imagine any greater shame than to put my mom and myself through that again. Itād honestly be more noble to eat a bullet.
Another big part is that I DID the drugs. I did the fuck out of them. They just didnāt work anymore. I didnāt feel less depressed or less anxious. Slightly less pain but I traded that for fucked up lugs and fucked in veins and throbbing pain in my cracked teeth. It just doesnāt fucking work. So even in y junkie brain, I canāt ferret out a single solitary reason why I would put myself through that fucking agony again.
Only thing I think I have honestly any chance of ārelapsingā at is when it comes to making money. I loved that more than I loved heroin. The weight off my mind. The feeling of accomplishment. Being able to provide for people I cared about. That was way more intoxicating than any drug Iāve every done.
Well besides ayahuasca. -
2019-12-28 at 4:34 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
Originally posted by Octavian Not losing all inhibitions is a good thing. Being able to not make an ass of one's self, be articulate and respected throughout the night is a good thing. I would much prefer to be that person.
Yeah being sloppy fall over drunk was fun when I was 20 but now I th8nk itās just make me self conscious and depressed. -
2019-12-28 at 4:33 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion š©šI just had to look. We still got like 20% to go in this one.
I just bumped my old thread bc I lold when I saw I have almost 5000 posts but 9 threads. -
2019-12-28 at 4:31 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion š©šAre we on page 420? Am I only showing a certain number of posts per page?
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2019-12-28 at 4:15 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion š©šI mean I can feel some tightness there, but youād really have to like sit on your arm or do something or torque it out of its normal range of motion
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2019-12-28 at 4:10 PM UTC in Merry Christmas- get down on it...
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2019-12-28 at 4:07 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)I mean our brain chemistry is kinda fucked, and will probably continue to be fucked for a few years following our cessation of all drugs. I think it has a lot to do with different experiences, different ch I also being released. We got used to a cycle of immediate gratification, immense pleasure response, burnout, repeat. Normal life isnāt like that. The truth is, normal life doesnāt have everyday super highs like that. Itās probably going to take a while for our brains to restrain themselves to trigger reward chemicals for doing the things that are actually healthy for us- ie socialization and career, outings, exercise.
Everyoneās been pretty supportive of me. Iām like 99% positive i COULD drink, but at this point I donāt really see much point. Alcohol just makes me kinda sloppy. I donāt get much more anxiolytics effect from alcohol than I would from taking part in any other number of things. Itās funny when I drink, I feel less anxiety and inhibition but only at a kind of surface level. After having started working the steps and learning to be honest with people, I feel like Iām able to create way more intimacy with people sober than I could drunk. I can certainly articulate myself better. And people have been cool. At a Christmas party the other night, someone suggested I pour us some drinks and I didnāt feel like having the talk so I just poured myself a glass and didnāt drink, no one noticed or said shit. Itās weird not having something in my hand to carry around and sip on, but even just to type that now makes me feel retarded. That feeling doesnāt make sense and Iām sure thatāll go away in time too. Just like how I used to feel weird without someth8ng to smoke at a party. -
2019-12-28 at 3:55 PM UTC in Merry Christmas- get down on it...
Originally posted by Bill Krozby I feel ya, I used to be really angry all the time like seven years ago, its just different for everyone. I still get pissed off at my daughters mom for having such a blase' rattitude about lying to me to get pregnant and the bullshit the pulled in court. But the thing I don't understand is how Ā§mĀ£ĆgĆL got involved a girl like that when he's a goody two shoes, I would never want to be around someone like that unless I was shooting dope and sport fucking them, I wouldn't actually want to be in a real relationship with them lol
But yeah with all the bullshit I went through when I was committing all my crimes seven years ago, I was really hateful and upset because so much bad stuff was happening all at once and I realize now after going through all that that its never worth getting upset and angry the way I used too.
Really the only thing I do feel bad about though where I felt like I was really in the wrong (sure I can be mouthy and a dick) but when my daughters mom was pregnant I was shooting diladids and just raging and she had already told me she was pregnant and I was still willing to see her because I believed she was (despite having mutliple girls lie to me about being pregnant for attention) I don't really know what happened I guess but she told me she was waiting for me outside when we were going to dinner and it was really late and she totally was not where she said she was and eventually just started walking up to me with this bitch face pursed lip look on her face that was so goddamn casual, I couldn't help myself I fucking socked her as I could and dragged her into my place with one of my neighbors just in awe staring at us and I put her to bed. I started nodding really hard while watching captain murica and I would come to every 15 minutes and just start chewing her out. I was really pissed off.
Damn nigga.
See I would generally have to escalate th8ngs to words at least before I closed fist punch a bitch.
I probably wouldve led with
āOh youāre waiting for me outside are you? Strange since Iāve been out here 20 fucking min and your car just pulled up. I guess itās par for the course to have people waiting around for you huh.?ā
Then if she wants to get loud or spits or tries t9 slap me, THEN itās go time.
Billy Krawdad a savage off dem dillydads -
2019-12-28 at 3:48 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion š©ši tried it.it didnāt work
