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Posts by Zanick
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2017-05-06 at 2:30 AM UTC in swallowing a girl's eyeballs
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2017-05-06 at 2:29 AM UTC in Best Cover of Any Song Ever
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2017-05-06 at 1:21 AM UTC in crateing a new form of musicrecord the sound of your flaccid penis flapping in the breeze and transcribe the whistle into metered poetry
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2017-05-06 at 1:20 AM UTC in Best Cover of Any Song EverDisturbed is a shitty band and you have shitty taste
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2017-05-05 at 12:53 AM UTC in What is your greatest talent?writing, coffee, cunnilingus
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2017-05-04 at 10:24 PM UTC in Just got out of the ER
Originally posted by Bill Krozby I've withdrew plenty of times I'm 4 or 5 days sober from alcohol now, I used gabapentin to help ease me through, I've done it for years after being an opiod addict for several years while not drinking. I don't do opiods anymore or at least like 2-3 times every six months if that, but just pain pills now.
For the most part it was just always feeling miserable, like for example at my job I had last year when I first started they had me working in the mornings and it was awful I would puke my guts out every day and try and have a brew somewhere in the shift just to make it through the day shift, then the put me on the night shift which really helped me ramp up my drinking because I live in austin and I worked downtown so I would walk out of work and go see bands and get drinks, most which were free and because i got out after bar hours id stay awake after getting off work because i just couldnt go to sleep so i drink more brews, kinda sleep, wake up drink, then do it all again for about 8 months and it was a habit that stuck especially because that job.
Last summer I was at the tax office and I had decided to quit drinking 15 or so hours earlier and I didn't feel too bad, but I definitely wasn't right, next thing I know i wake up handcuffed to a bed asking why the fuck I'm handcuffed and a nurse told me because I had a seizure and tried to fight the cops (lol whut?) evidently they had given me a shot of ativan up my ASS! at the tax office when i was being held down by the cops because I wanted to get up and walk away ( I remember none of that)
I ent up bitching and moaning and making racial slurs towards the japanese nurse that lied to me about me fighting cops and they let me go, gave me a bus pass back to the tax office, got in my car and and fell asleep at errrr red light home.. it was awful
and this is what happened to my face during the seziure
and my wrist were cut up and bruised from the handcuffs, i was kinda freaked out afterwards and then my electricity went off even though I had paid the bill and the electric eels were trying to fix it so i stayed at my friends house down the street for a couple days it sucked soooooooooo bad
Geez, you really got fucked up. How is it that you find yourself withdrawing so often? -
2017-05-04 at 10:17 PM UTC in Just got out of the ER
Originally posted by Malice Thanks for sharing Zanick. On Zoklet I always had the image of you as well off guy, if somewhat elitist, who was on a track to a good life in the medical field. I'm not sure if I missed some of your posts while I was there because I mostly posted in The Retarded Thread, a fair amount of people spent most of their time there, but after reading this and some other posts you've made it's obvious you've suffered immensely.
You should look into Nardil, it's the #1 medication I want to get back on. Fucking last bitch took me off such a powerful drug cold turkey. The long half life rapidly diminishes in a few days, she called it a "tapering effect". I swear, unless I can intimidate and dominate them or seduce/charm/manipulate them I'd prefer to never meet with another female psychiatrist again. Had brain zaps and it was after that that I began developing agoraphobia and anthropophobia to such an extreme extent.
Your first impression wasn't so far off, though it might be said I'm not living up to that potential right now. I'm not really in a position to be experimenting with my neurochemistry (outside of a few obviously safe agents) or I'd consider Nardil.
I also had brain zaps, years ago while coming off of Lexapro. Oddly enough, I've gotten them all my life but only when I'm being mischievous. Something about sneaking and scheming makes an electrical storm in my fucking head. -
2017-05-04 at 10:03 PM UTC in Just got out of the ER
Originally posted by Bill Krozby Just because you've mentioned you were in college awhile back and I didn't know if it had to do with college drinking when you went through that or if it had something to do with not being in college like malice and I (im 29 and didn't start drinking heavily until resent, I had a seizure last summer from not drinking)
I've never been in school for an extended period of time where binge drinking was part of the culture, not saying that it was for you but I can only assume so thats why I was asking.
I'm back at school for my degree after being in the workforce for some time; I'm not involved in campus nightlife in the least. My excessive drinking and drug use was a matter of personal vice, rather than social.
Tell me, what was your experience like in withdrawing and seizing? -
2017-05-04 at 9:59 PM UTC in well gontzI'd like to know what gontz is but unfortunately I am occupying myself this evening with anything but the essay I'm supposed to be doing.
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2017-05-04 at 9:56 PM UTC in Just got out of the ER
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2017-05-04 at 9:54 PM UTC in Just got out of the ERnobody gives a shit
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2017-05-04 at 9:41 PM UTC in Just got out of the ERYou're not so alone as you think you are - I've been there, too. At one point I was mixing large doses of Klonopin with what must have been liters of vodka, at my peak. More nights than I can count, I went to sleep neither knowing nor caring if I'd even wake up. Because my clonazepam was prescribed, it was inevitable that my supply would be gone weeks before a refill could be authorized. One week passed, after running out, and withdrawal set in. Immediately after the first seizure, I was blessed with an unusual but serendipitous affability. This pleasant state of mind persisted even after leaving the ER. Twelve hours later, another seizure put me right back in. At first, they wanted to discharge me with a script for more benzos, to interrupt my withdrawal until I could get more prescribed. Upon the insistence of their psychiatrist, however, I was admitted to the neurology unit. There I spent three days (my birthday was one of them), confined to a boulder they called my bed, on a cocktail of IV anticonvulsants that made me dry heave every hour.
I was and am still of the opinion that this arrangement was wrought by profit-seeking leeches, sucking dry the teat of my HMO coverage, but I had agreed to stay because it comforted my mother. When I left, they told me I'd have to take Depakote or that I'd have another seizure. It sapped me of all feeling except for rage. I wanted to lash out at everyone: the doctors, my family, and even my fucking cat. My hair started falling out and it clogged my drain; I had piss-colored, hairy water all over my bathtub for weeks. I started getting acne everywhere: my neck, my ears, and all over my back. Diarrhea became an hourly occurrence. I would lose blocks of memory and would often have to rely on family to recount many of my actions.
All I could do was ruminate. Every second of every day I spent pitying myself for the unfairness of my situation. To say I was worth anything to anybody would be a farce. And the worst of it is how it's affected my parents. Watching me seize, almost losing their son, who are the most loving and supportive people I know in this world. Every day, they root for me, after all that I've put them through. I will never, ever be relieved of the guilt that I feel for having done this to them. They are the reason I'm trying to keep my body clean now.
Please, OP, be grateful that you haven't hurt anybody like that, and please, for your sake, reach out to people. Malice, I've known you for years now and I know it's just a message board, but I can tell very clearly that you have a lot to offer in a friendship. -
2017-04-30 at 6:49 PM UTC in fucking psychiatristsThey think the M.D. gives them license to discern reality from falsehood, labeling patients with unusual thinking or unfounded beliefs as delusional when they may have just fallen down the wrong epistemological hole. When will religion be regarded as delusion, or climate change denial?
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2017-04-30 at 6:44 PM UTC in how to make crystalized dmt?From what I've read it's a pretty standard extraction process just like you'd find for a lot of organic materials. The harder part is obtaining crystal, which I'm told requires more care and diligence. Google "DMT nexus" or something like that, I seem to remember that site having a lot of guides and advice for beginners.
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2017-04-30 at 6:42 PM UTC in What zhould I read?green eggs and ham
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2017-04-30 at 4:47 PM UTC in What kind of coffee do you guys drink?McDonald's has better coffee than a lot of places, now.
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2017-04-30 at 4:46 PM UTC in Being an alcoholic sucksOP just make sure to taper off. It's worth your effort to circumvent withdrawal because I know you really wouldn't like what happens.
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2017-04-30 at 1:24 AM UTC in What kind of coffee do you guys drink?bump
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2017-04-30 at 12:46 AM UTC in being ganstalked part 78thOP you have nice teeth
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2017-04-25 at 8:44 PM UTC in What kind of coffee do you guys drink?
Originally posted by Bill Krozby thanks for actually contributing to the thread, I wasn't asking for a lot. I was just having coffee one morning and wanted to know what other people drink, but the thread got so convoluted by hater faces that its now a six page thread over basically nothing.
No problem, coffee is something I'm passionate about. You especially should try to find a specialty cup out there; Austen must be brimming with great brews.
