I feel like the sudden sobriety won't come until the anxiety has been eliminated. The gin hasn't done its job yet.
Sometimes I'll be paralytic drunk then suddenly sober, or seemingly. I wonder what causes it and if I need it rn. Ik people with split personalities can change their body chemistry like that blind woman whom had an alter that could see. My vision changed once, needed glasses then didn't. But I'm not sure if I really have a split personality and if I do it couldn't be that extreme, so what else could cause my sudden sobriety? Of suddenly being able to get up when I've been paralytic.
ok I safely cut the lamb. Now I'm thinking about how strange it is that ppl say I'm retarded when all the people I've been close to were above average.
Whiles I'm taking too much time cans someones recommend me something to watch for when I get back? Preferably anime
Need to take off skinny jeans before can't
Realising I'm not going to get anything productive done today. But okay with that because I need to socialise to be healthy.
I'll just sober up and cook somthing. I've been awake idk 6 hours, only thing I've had is houmous and breadsticks and I haven't even finished that.
Seriously what am I going to eat.
Thinking about this now comforts me because if I do ever see signs of ageing I'll probably stop smoking. I quit for two years when the closest person to me was a med student, the closest person to me has a lot of influence. We'll have to see if I live long enough to see signs of ageing though. I feel due for a stroke any day bcus of the Monster.
I used to be an alcoholic for real, went to AA meetings. Every fucking day because my ex gf was one and she didn't want to drink alone everyday. I was a teetotaller before I met her, I always needed to feel in control of myself. Then I found I'm more myself when I'm drunk. It didn't make me a misanthrope like my dad, it made me a sociable extrovert. Anyway I decided to quit solely because I care more about my appearance. Stimulants are what got me off it. I've always needed a substitute and for years that's been coke and Monster, but those things are killing me. I would drop Monster instantly if I found a better substitute. There was a time I walked into the store and felt repulsion toward the Monster section so I went to get beer instead. Ik I can find it repulsive, I just need to find a substitute before I die from it.
...Change of environment also works. I've noticed my habits and routines and what I eat daily change when I'm in different places.
Wondering what I'm gonna have for dinner now there's no chance I can cut a lamb leg safely.
I'm drinking from a plastic cup bcus of the previous nights of broken glass
I'd say 7 UK units in the first glass. 2 units is tipsy for most women. 5 is on the floor. Me and my light-coloured eyes are more immune.
I'm really drunk. Made the mistake of putting too much gin in the first glass. I'm gonna want to sip more for awhile augh.
I can't wrap my head around why they're so scared. They need to grow so they only need the approval of themselves.
The men here are cowards.
