Good excuse to sleep tomorrow
May 21, 2024 - Secure your bunker and make sure it's fully stocked with heavy artillery, because there is bound to be a battle, Virgo. Trust that you need to be fully prepared in order to enter the fight today, because you do. There are some battles that you actually like - the ones that get things rolling and produce results. It will soon become clear which type this is.
It feels like I've sprained my fingers, too much caffeine, I want to study but am having waves of emotion and am not even sure what I'm emotional about. Ig I can't be happy when Akira is unhappy, ik she's scared bcus she saw me feeding the other cat today. Ig I'm stressed about a lot.
Maybe not. Having a sudden desire to go outside could be torture when I have chronic fatigue.
Wondering if I should get hypnosis for agoraphobia. If it would work or if my sensory issues would still say no to the outdoors.
I just remembered I have a reclusive uncle, maybe I should try visiting him. Him saying he's a recluse is a good excuse for me to check in on him.
It's healthy to be self-important, everyone should be important to themselves, on their own side and it's good that I like my own company enough, can keep myself entertained.
My mum said I can't have one bcus I'm like a serial killer. But I've had my cat since September and haven't snapped at it once. It's some narcissist thing she thinks there's something wrong with me if I'm angry at her.
My family actually doesn't want me to have children and I'm sure it's bcus they're demonic and hate me, not because there's anything wrong with me genetically. Anyway I wouldn't want them to look after my child, especially not my narcissist mum.
I've also never trusted men in my life so it's extremely unlikely that will change.
I remember when I was 14 my older cousin saying that she doesn't think I'll ever have children, wonder what it was about my personality that made her think that.
I'm just not going to worry about it. If I had a child it would be taken off me. I don't want to be pregnant, never have. I've never had a boyfriend so it's extremely unlikely I will find the right person. I'm not the type to settle. So all I can do is become rich and if I ever care enough I'll see if I can create a clone of me, which I'd actually rather have than mix my genes with someone because I am perfect the way I am.
Menopause doesn't start til 50s. Idk what will be the case for me. My dad still had his black hair in his 60s. I stress a lot so if I start going grey in my early 30s I'll know I'm doomed.
If I do pass 35 without a child, there's a good chance I will create a clone of myself, with all those decades to focus on becoming rich and getting away with it.
Okay well idc about pagen life stages that reduce humans to a single biological function. I have plans to be happy, and that means becoming rich, exploring the world and finding the right person. Maybe later in life I will create a clone of myself, that's possible even if I am no longer fertile. I have no plans to become a crone either, I will keep my looks by not having children.
I wonder if this is a sign I'm no longer me, is it normal to be repulsed by gingers then suddenly like them?
