Bobo you'll never make me die how now brown cow my na'am.
I feels as if my shadow self is free now because there's no one to hold me accountable. No friends, estranged from family, study online, no respect for anyone here. So there's nothing stopping me from being my worst self and its nice.
It's so nice sleeping without a top on. It's not often I'm numb enough to be free of sensory issues. I can feel normal for a little while.
It gives for rain tomorrow so the plan is to have a lie-in and go to the library and a park. Sheer will power got me to the beach today bcus I had zero energy.
It's the narrow faces etc
This is fucked but I've noticed most women here look fuck ugly to me and I wonder if that contributed to him being what he is and if he would still be that if he lived somewhere with more attractive women.
I'll crack if I can't find a cigarette shop tomorrow. Feeling super agitated atm.
I listened to hypnosis to speed reading, meaning I can see the forest for the trees now, and am glad bcus those paragraphs would have given me eye strain otherwise.
As I've said, it's people who believe they're free thinkers that wind up in cults. People like Aldra chasing enlightenment so he's actually willing to drill a hole in his skull despite modern medical advice. People liek totsenumbers who think hazing is the totse way, no that is psychologically breaking someone so they join the group without attacking people in the group. I could point out in detail who here is fucked but nobody ever asks me for advice because you're all sexist.
All that's missing is the stacked rings and fake tattoos
I just realised I'm wearing 19yr old me clothes like legit had that crop sweater since I was 18. Skinny jeans w rips at the knees are 2013 style.
Idk why I'm still awake after four vodkas and a beer like what am I supposed to do now?
He also had long blonde hair and was Australian, but he had the same eye colour as me and a toddler son, lone parent, so he seemed decent enough to deserve my persona.
It's so weird in Belfast my looks would be average but here, well I haven't noticed many people with good facial proportions. I'm used to thinking most people could become movie stars. So it's weird. If people stared at me at home I'd assume it was something bad, but here I assume it's something good because so few people look attractive to me.
What also bugs me about this place is how few young people that are white.
I didn't know what thread I was in but now I do, and this reminds me. Today on the train I was shoulder surfing this black lady was looking on her phone for clothes like princess Diana's. It felt awkward she was watching all these white girl fashion reels and for so long, and I don't think anyone's gonna tell her she looks like princess Diana.
The curse of being too drunk and no sleep coming soon
I'm gonna point out here that "like" is the most used word in Northern Ireland. My identity crisis means intrusive N.I slang is plaguing my inner monologue idk what will save me from it.
