I've decided I want to be anorexic again. I didn't like how volume was lost in my face so I'm going to get dermal fillers. I just don't like how my stomach looks right now. I can't have a flat stomach unless I'm underweight.
I'm still exploring the new community. It's at that point where everyone showers attention on me but it feels weird because I know they're all the same kind of damaged and a lot are middle-aged. There's a section dedicated to suicide and SH which isn't moderated.
Miserable because I have to cram now. It's 6pm and I spent hours getting ready, now I can't escape it.
2023-05-08 at 2:15 PM UTC
in
Decided to change teams
I've still never made a cup of coffee in my life and don't know how.
2023-05-08 at 2:14 PM UTC
in
Decided to change teams
My dad played cricket, there's a picnic table in his memory at the cricket club. I remember when I was 12 some Indian cricket club came to practise with them and they asked me to make them coffee. I said no because I didn't know how to make coffee and they looked shocked.
I had a crying session and now I'm trying to gather myself because I have to cram today. I have to be at my best.
2023-05-08 at 1:06 PM UTC
in
Decoding Sophie
I really think he's dead but because I had an ex gf w BPD I know it's possible he just discarded me and doesn't give a fuck about anyone. It's like Schrodinger's Sophie because I don't know if I should be grieving and upset I cancelled meeting him last minute, if I should feel abandoned or if I should be plotting revenge. It varies day to day, so I'm not just feeling the effects of one of those scenarios, it's all of them. I'm leaning more on he's a BPD scumbag because I know he was never a good friend.
2023-05-07 at 7:37 PM UTC
in
I was attacked
I tried punching them but was holding my purse in my right hand so it was just my left hand and I wasn't really aiming anywhere.
2023-05-07 at 7:31 PM UTC
in
I was attacked
It was my stomach and knee.
2023-05-07 at 7:30 PM UTC
in
I was attacked
Just kicked repeatedly like 15 minutes ago. I didn't really feel pain but know they were kicking hard. I think I'm just feeling adrenaline now. I'm waiting on police.
Feel like I'm in a sauna and gross in general because my hairs are falling out after the laser hair removal and I just have to wait instead of shaving them and I put too much hair wax in my hair. Just that and the sweating. D:
My shifting identity and if there's any people I want to go back to being. They help at times but I must have let go of them for a reason.
I listened to my dad's three and a half hour voice note of him talking to himself once, a lot of it was inaudible but I have a Crosley now so I might try again.
My eyebrow extensions just arrived in the post so that's what I'll be doing for the next few hours.
