I've been aloof today but am checking in now and all I ate was two sausage rolls, I cleaned the dining room, showered, did one hour of study, listened to three hypnosis tracks and did the grocery shopping. Idk where I was for the rest of it, this isn't good enough.
It's not the first Christmas without my family but it's the first time being this estranged from them so I have mild anxiety.
Next I have to find things to buy myself and Akira, clean the house, make sure I meet a deadline so I can chill on the day, find Christmas horror movies to watch, make my Christmas VR room public... It just struck me now I might not be able to leave flowers at my dad's grave on the day because shops won't be open to sell them.
At least that's one less thing to stress about for Christmas. Now I know I definately will be cooking.
I panicked a bit because only had an hour to keep my delivery slot for tomorrow and there aren't any more slots over Christmas
I just ordered a lot of food and idk what I'm doing tbh, like a whole leg of lamb and I've never even cooked a chicken nevermind a Christmas dinner and am alone and anorexic.
I'm trying to quickly make Christmas plans because I'm going to be alone and don't want to be depressed. I've sort of given up on cooking but can't go to a restaurant by myself. I've booked a massage and skincare treatment for Saturday but that doesn't feel like enough to treat myself with. It's so stressful.
2023-12-21 at 5:02 PM UTC
in
Zoomer scum
I have vague memories of the library in my primary school. It's abandoned now and I broke into it, have photos somewhere. But the vague memories, I don't remember doing anything on the computers other than playing games, maybe it was Tetris and that winnie the witch pc game, now that it's coming back to me I think I remember loading games from disks
2023-12-21 at 4:58 PM UTC
in
Zoomer scum
The dial-up was at my aunt's house in the countryside if that's what that was, internet connected to the phone or something.
2023-12-21 at 4:56 PM UTC
in
Zoomer scum
I got 8 but it could be 10 because I think I played with a rotary phone and held a floppy disk.
His fate was sealed after the two-month mark, but it can still get uglier.
Avoidance only makes it worse, I want to chop off his hands now.
It won't be long before I find him irl, and when I do he may be compelled to help me find you.
If it is implemented to show which users are online then that can contribute towards the compensation you owe me in exchange for your life for failing to tell me the truth.
I'm surprised my worldview changed tbh, after all these years. Normally your early one sticks. My worldview is negative now and my purpose is revenge.
My final form is a banshee out for revenge, and I'll never be 30.
Idk if that should bother me. What if we are meant to end up together. It's true she's the only one that cares about me to an extent.
My soul feels a little warmer now.
