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Posts by Dissociator
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2016-05-11 at 8:38 PM UTC in I miss being 16.I miss being 15, because atleast when I was being a lazy depressed drug addicted shit I was smoking top tier spice all the time and doing psychedelics while posting on a shitty forum instead of reading a NA book snorting lines of kidiot stims
My 15 year old self would fucking beat the shit out of me now for even considering anything related to anything unrelated to drug pharmacology especially 12 steps into oblivs -
2016-05-11 at 7:32 PM UTC in sploo died while drumming on bundy
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2016-05-11 at 6:06 PM UTC in had a dream my dick fell offnot cut off but fell off. actually came off. like ohh boyy my cock came off again better fix this but didnt fix so at hospital all the people on dialysis were like ha yea I gotta get enhancemented 3 days a week for life but u got no plunger spudboy
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2016-05-11 at 6 PM UTC in Why the fuck am I so paranoid about dying from drugsI slept
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2016-05-10 at 11:21 PM UTC in Why the fuck am I so paranoid about dying from drugs
I take 32 pills in a day sometimes more I am surprised I haven't had kidney failure yet…not sure what folcain is but seroquel is just fucking stupid
its ritalin prime
dex-milesperhour
btw do 45 minute naps constitute rest? Like, in the sense that 45 minutes of maybe idk class 2 theta or beta brainwaves would relax my heart enough to sort of like, not die, and my mind enough to stay up more? not to do more focalin but even without focalin I have the worst case of treatment resistant insomnia.. well actually idk because my fucking docs wont script me anything more than seroquel for sleep. Fucking sociopaths. They can give me controlled amphetamines/piperazines but cant give me a fucking real sleep drug? I swear to god, -
2016-05-10 at 10:02 PM UTC in Why the fuck am I so paranoid about dying from drugsWell drug, focalin. I know I should be concerned but I took like maybe 150mg of focalin in the past 2 days with no sleep but I had some xanaxes, last night I fuckin to comedown i took a 50mg seroquel and laid down and then like an idiot snorted more focalin and felt the worst fuckin adrenergic so I drank opthamalic solution of timolol which is a beta blocker and felt fucked up but maybe it hleped maybe sleep dep and panic
but visuals, normal, mild chest discomfort on right side mostly and cold extremities, weird sensations,all normal for dose, been taking gabapentin and aspirin so if i was gonna die id be dead already maybe?
just snorted like 40mg after takin xanax i feel badddd
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2016-05-09 at 1:25 AM UTC in Crib leg day awkwardnessNEOHOYMANOY
EEEHHHT
OYHOYHOY HOYOYHOY
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2016-05-09 at 12:24 AM UTC in Currently (hopefully) dying from impracticle suicide method
if you want a guaranteed method of ending your existence on this plane of existence I can help you out with that. I get dibs on your carcass
elaborate -
2016-05-08 at 10:07 AM UTC in Timbre is what we say when we run out of words to describe soundHEY GEEKOID, FIX THE FUCKING MESSAGING INBOX FIASCO
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2016-05-08 at 9:29 AM UTC in Let's talk about that time you got ripped off buying drugs
Usually I look up pills online before I buy them but years ago I ended up getting ripped off by some nigger bitch who sold me blood pressure pills and claimed they were klonopin
lol u got clonidine'd -
2016-05-08 at 7:37 AM UTC in Currently (hopefully) dying from impracticle suicide methodWell my mechanisms are already fried like rawhide but the high is just an addition to the subscription of the mission of enscription to the eternal self sustainable incapable, inescapable land of either vaccuum of lame, a chamber of pain or a train to the everlasting great plains but etc etc
I started my focalin binge on 5/6 11 am because I wanted to get high, most of the redoses were for that purpose, but eventually I just was like, you know, whatever. Can't sleep, I feel different for a bit and alot is probably really bad for the body (not neccesarily the heart but the liver, lungs, venous system, etc. I've been having constant liver pain ever since getting up to 450mg of focalin which I just hit after having a bottle of southern comfort and a few beers and now I feel like, not paranoid because BEER but in excruciating pain that somehow feels like it can contribute to death. chest pain. If i continue with this, high dose gab, for liver fry purposes, sleep deprivation, havent slept in 3 days and continuous starving myself that I will possibly die from one of many different systemic failures, brain pain and liver stain, kidneys cant sustain and mind go insane.
so that plus also alchohol possibly forming EPH , dont know because its d-mph , also
this ISNT A PITY ME DRAMA QUEEN THREAD.
Just asking for points of view if this is a good way to go
If not, any pointers? -
2016-05-08 at 1:38 AM UTC in Is there any reason I shouldn't kill myself?fuxk it, lanny fubard the message system.. ugh man
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2016-05-08 at 1:19 AM UTC in Is there any reason I shouldn't kill myself?because you have hope. thinks might seem bad at the moment, and I know coming from a fucking untrustworthty fucking asshole like me ....... it seems hypocritical saying this because I abuse drugs and I'm an asshole, but honestly even though you have these problems, IT WILL GET BETTER. there are people that care about you, even if you dont think so, that honestly think you are a better man than I am, and you have the strength to get your life together, maybe go for walks and take fish oil, b complex, you will feel like shit still for like a month but youll come to realize that you are starting to feel better.
best of luck -
2016-05-07 at 6 AM UTC in jedi chicks are fucking HOTLisa edelstein, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. CUDDY'S ASS. FUCKING HOT AS FUCK jedi CUDDY
SARAH. FUCKING. SILVERMAN.
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2016-05-03 at 12:26 AM UTC in Is there a chance the post office would notice an envelope is slightly more than 1oz?Hopefully
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2016-05-02 at 11:28 PM UTC in nigspace to be taken over by romulansfuvk u bich
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2016-04-28 at 2:58 PM UTC in Let's talk about that time you got ripped off buying drugsLike the second time I bought weed from a jedi, paid 40 bucks for 2 dimebags (I was like 14 and I wanted weed as to not have to rely on xanax and bundy (sorry for blaspheme sploo/beedrill brand happy) I just wanted to get high, only reason I EVER did bundy was because I couldnt get weed when I was 12), next time I gave him 80 dollars for weed I never got, he went off on his bike with 2 american indian fucks, I chased him all the way down like half a mile, he couldnt catch up because he was a fat fuck, I also weighed like, 230 pounds at age 14 but I was so fucking pissed, I got up to his bike, pushed him off, gave him a shiner and ran off, hid in the woods and under a tractor trailer in a stop n shop parking lot. Plus the fact that he stole my singer in my band (also my best friend), tempted him with money and thing is, jediboy ansell played bass like me. My former best friend betrayed me but I didnt beat him up because later on we made amends and I wouldnt hit my long time friend just because of a band
also, my current guy (who gives me primo weed for like, 30 dollars for an eigth of sticky shit with trichomes) knew him when I was in rehab, thought we were cool but first time he gave me a bag full of lawn clippings so I trailed him to his controlled rent crackden, came in, keep in mind the guy is a stick figure 6 inches shorter than me, looked him right in the eyes like 3 inches away from him, he tried to beat me up but I slammed him on the ground and said, if you ever try this shit again I will snap your twigboy legs and shove my sneaker so far up your ass youll taste it for a week (in reality I said, hey the jerkstore called, they ran out of you (george costanza)
a week later I hit him up for weed and he gave me a 16th for free, probably respected me more, cause he thought he could rip me off because in rehab I kept to myself for the majority of it because I was on a tricyclic antidepressant, focalin, wellbutrin and modafinil so I was so wired I couldnt function, but eventually beat up this guy ricky, the guys held me back but still, he was a bundy addict and thought I was a bitch, or atleast naive. -
2016-04-27 at 8:29 AM UTC in NMDA antagonists made me learn guitarinb4 conjecture
I remember back when I was 13 and I first started taking bundy (the horror) considering the reason why I did it, is because I was 12 when I started le FUCKING DRUGS, adderall and xanax. YES, back then I did know what responsible using was, but then suddenly my sus was taken away and since I was too much of a you know, 13 year old, I was stupid so I did bundy, after a long and meaningless series of events, tried to get weed from some highschoolers I knew back then but they didn't sell to me either because I was a spoogecrust or because they cared about my wellbeing and didn't want to sell a stupid 13 year old weed (or they thought I was gonna snitch)
anyways blah blah, in 7th grade I started taking guitar lessons, after getting a guitar and I fucking SUCKED. played guitar on and off, when I first started stealing addies from daddy, my inner fucking restlessness went away and in school I started focusing, my then-extrovert qualities came out and me and a few guys from school formed a band.
blah blah blah then bundy came and I became a pest to them because drugs and I always talked about it but it didnt get so far as to split up the band. in 8th grade when I started doing bundy, I played guitar while intoxicated and holy fuck, I could play riffs and shit without even thinking about it, before that whenever I played guitar I would move my mouth all weird involuntarily probably due to some part of my brain compensating to further focus my lack of guitar lessons on playing like a retard (fuck i dont even care if im making sense i just had 3 shots and a few beers in less than an hour/2
so uh, yeah. this is pretty much the only substance to the thread that i know for sure: bundy helped me learn how to play guitar and sing at the same time by dissociating me.
Also I'm drunk now and I can play guitar and sing at the same time without my vocals matching the notes on the guitar
tl;dr running round like stupid fools, roshambo is who plays the fool
hold the pickles hold the lettuce
SPECIAL ORDERS DONT UPSET US.
ALL WE ASK IS THAT YOU LET US SERVE IT
YOUR WAY.
too much paranoias x4
my mothers afraid to tell me things shes afraid of
NYEEEGHJ i just pissed in the sump -
2016-04-26 at 6:07 AM UTC in THROWBACK CRIB LEG DAY VENERABLE JOURNEY INTO SANCTUARYlol Bill Krozby that album is from sept 2014 my music gets more and more queezenart as time goes on aka more lazy this is my first real project, circa the summer of 14 aka the summer of love, morphine and meth http://vectorxa.bandcamp.com
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2016-04-25 at 2:55 AM UTC in Putting selr under immense stress to man up
LOL that's not being a man, that's being some basement dwelling weird kid. Why don't you man up and clean that basement up for your parents? Or man up and go to work and pay your mom some rent? Or find a girl to fuck?
1. work in progress, was alot fucking dirtier 2 months ago. need to finish
2. saving up old birthday money and (almost no) adsense and youtube revenue in half, half to save until I have enough money to make a difference, half for self
3. also work in progress. so far I went from me and her being cool in 8th grade, me hitting on her for 4 years (well, once mostly wanted to talk to her because I knew she had same problems I had but with heroin) and she kept saying STOP CALLING ME, eventually wanted to hang out with me a year ago but I blew her off because me and autismo p.d.d. McControlled rent were hanging out at his house
hung out with her like 3 times in 6 months, taking it VERY slow because shes the only girl I actually had/have feelings for
