I don't usually think of suicide during the day but when I wake up at around 4 in the morning I say to God please kill me please put me out of my misery, I mean it is sincere but it's not like urgently sincere
2020-08-04 at 6:08 AM UTC
in
I died 3 times last month
Well the first time I was riding around with some people I met in the psych ward went to this dude's trailer park met his wife everything was cool but towards the end I smoked a cigar they were like hey Kay hit that tasted kind of weird and the next thing I remember I'm I can't move on falling all over the place and I'm in the ambulance can't breathe and they say I got aspiration pneumonia. this is all so f***** up because somehow during the situation I lost all my bottom teeth and now my mandibles exposed and it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life. Had a lot of medication stolen close to an adrenergic crisis without my propanolol. Have a fuxling tailbone schist and that just adds on to the bullshit this is so fucked up
The next time I took about 12 baclofen during a benzedrex binge and then towards the end I needed to get some sleep so I took 200 mg of Seroquel passed out on the couch and apparently it wasn't breathing honestly I thought I was just in a very deep sleep but they did a lot of light by slapping me around and causing pain those supposed to wake me up so apparently I died and then I remember getting a breathing tube taken out.
the third time was pretty much identical to the last as I took baclofen and went to sleep and went to a very deep sleep and honestly back when I was fifteen and took a shitton of you and I was in one of those States and my dad told me that I wasn't breathing but I was probably just have are in a very deep sleep or I would have been fine. Good thing is probably no brain damage I mean they said I wasn't breathing for approximately eight or nine minutes so that's kind of fuxked up
2020-08-04 at 6:02 AM UTC
in
Back for a bit
hey guys the reason why I haven't been on here isn't because I'm dead or severely brain-damaged or vegetable it's because some schizo at the halfway house broke my phone so I haven't have phone access for a long time. honestly a lot of things have changed as my spice dealer has moved to Arkansas so I've been sober from spice for a couple months now and it f****** sucks it really f****** does I showed us the fact that this f****** text to speech censors curse words
anyways I've been using my mind a lot to think my way out of anxiety and catatonic stress
the depakote has been helping us started that a couple days ago because I could not handle the cravings I needed something to help. I'm on focalin again but I took about fifteen and two days and then some a****** that looks like skeletor took the remaining 45 and I got to wait until the end of the month to get more so Wellbutrin smiley stim fixed at the moment
Yeah.. something like that disorder that makes you unable to picture things with your minds eye
2020-05-15 at 11:06 PM UTC
in
Random Thoughts
EvoluteTennant
EveryLiutenant
2020-05-15 at 11:04 PM UTC
in
Random Thoughts
Were guarding the sensuality of irrelevant regard ment to a hyperbole and irreverent reverend here Everett revengery eye of of ultimate in insubordinate servitude of a lesser kind not war the evolute tenant of the United States navy worth his weight in salt not even remotely
2020-05-12 at 3:25 PM UTC
in
Walking about 5 miles a day
Shut up you prole, nowhere to go
Pope pranolol I
2020-05-12 at 9:43 AM UTC
in
Walking about 5 miles a day
Thanks for the support brethren.
I'm roshambo from zoklet but my activity on these forum abominos has dwindled since 2014
2020-05-12 at 3:28 AM UTC
in
Walking about 5 miles a day
Typical Monday to Monday walk schedule
Usually build up intensity, peak on Thursdays and rest for 3 days
2020-05-12 at 3:26 AM UTC
in
Walking about 5 miles a day
checked my Samsung health
May
4 8879 steps, 4.28 mi
5 15743 steps, 7.59 mi
6 16076 steps, 7.83 mi
7 13151 steps, 6.32 mi
8 (break day) 2511 steps 1.2 mi
9 and 10th both mediocre
10th 4358 steps 2.14 mil
11 8853 steps 4.31 mi
Losing alot of weight and Hella getting in shape
2020-05-07 at 3:17 PM UTC
in
What puts you in a good mood
Klonopin, spice, hanging out with the homeless broskis
got a wisdom tooth pulled.. root canal too on another one... how'd u know?
