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Posts by Loing
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2018-12-24 at 10:38 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionA battle for the ages
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2018-12-24 at 10:37 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionCoin operated cunt vs warehouse manager
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2018-12-24 at 9:33 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by hydromorphone okay, lol. I literally just ate lunch with the student doctor whom I was his first patient when I had my surgeries here back in May/June. Every time I've been here, he always stops by to see me, and when I was in the ER the last couple times, right before I got admitted, he popped in to see me since he was doing his ER rounds. I've been writing letters to him, and he's written back to me since I left here, when I was in the nursing home. He's a cool dude, and I would say we are friends at this point since student doctors, and doctors in general, don't go out of their way to check in on, write letters back, and take time out of their day to go to lunch with just any old patient they have.
He was telling me his friend with whom he's in the same class with, was on my medical team, and while he had stopped in one day to just do his regular shit, I'd gotten to talking to him about lidocaine, and how it's used IV to control drug resistant seizures in both peds, and adults. THere was a bunch of other shit I'd gone on about, but he'd never knew or heard of that before, so I told him "Okay now, that's your homework. I expect you to at least spend 10minutes and read up a bit on it." The next day I saw the attending, and mentioned him, just saying how I thought he was doing good, and a likable kid. Well, I mentioned his "homework", and he laughed and said "I'm gonna make sure to quiz him next time I see him". Well, apparently, my buddy's friend/schoolmate hadn't checked it out as I'd said to… lol He didn't get into trouble, but he wasn't expecting the doctor to suddenly quiz him on the shit I'd brought up and said was "homework" like that. I thought that was cute, and my friend was telling me what his schoolmate had told him, and it just clicked that he knew who he was talking about.
I enjoy talking medicine with my friend. He was telling me that he really likes his ER rounds, he'd walked into a room just the other day, and a man had been stabbed, and they had him opened up, with his heart just right there, visible, just beating away lol. "It was sooo cool" lmfao. I would think so too. I honestly envy him, but it's cool I did make a friend here, and well… if I ever do have to come back anytime soon, I at least know I got someone who'll visit me, and take me to lunch once in a while.
I've a couple other people here who are patients that I've made friends with, one of which I met when I was here back in May/June. One of my friends I went to school with when I lived around here as a kid is coming to see me tomorrow after he's done with his family shit, and I haven't seen him in 15 years, but we always were tight as kids growing up, and stayed in touch when I moved for all these years.
Honestly, I have more friends than I actually want to have. People are naturally attracted to me, and stick to me. I have the problem of getting into my anti-social phases, and just being reclusive, not responding, or wanting to be around, or talk to people. Even at that, I've got a lot of friends who've stuck it out, and were persistent and patient with me. I'm lucky in that regard.
It boggles my mind with where you get that I have no friends. I guess it's because I do tend to be reclusive, when I lived in the north part of the state, I didn't have a tremendous amount of friends, but I had enough, and kept in contact with the important people in my life during that time. Hell, the friends I do have, the small circle of really important people I trust with my life, those are who I consider family. They stuck by me, helped me, been there for me, and shown me familial love, and I've done the same in return for them. I don't want for friends, family, or people to socialize with, I have more than enough to choose from.
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2018-12-24 at 8:38 PM UTC in Aldra, surfing the Kali Yuga
Originally posted by misanthropy 'in the past 30 years the average third world wage has doubled from $1/day to $2/day, just look at that progress. we have by strict technical definition lifted so many people out of poverty by supplanting their lives of sustenance farming with sweatshop labor, and created so much wealth for a handful of oligarchs that it's hard to argue things aren't getting better. doesn't matter that the world is tearing itself apart geopolitically and on the verge of ecological disaster, because smart people will somehow figure out how to solve these issues, probably'
- steve pinker the big thinker
He literally didn't argue that though. He says that the progress should be an optimistic indication, even though improved media and communication technologies make it seem worse than ever, because you're not isolated any more, so it's easy to lose sight of the fact that things are getting better and efforts are effective.
But he is also very clear that there is no guarantee that things will keep improving, and we need to keep inducing further change directly.
But that's not going to happen if edgy faggot nigger retard 12 year old cunt fucktroll media programmed NPCs keep trying to act like nothing is working.
For example on the issue of race relations: no, things haven't gotten worse, contrary to keyboard warrior faggotry. There are downwards deltas. But we have never lived in a more tolerant and progressive time, ever.
Everything is getting better and we can make it better, so there is no excuse to not try. Except you: Kill yourself. -
2018-12-24 at 7:54 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionOr ideally to the Edhi foundation
https://www.donation.edhi.org
How much is it in USD? I will match the donation. -
2018-12-24 at 7:51 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionDonate my 20 XRP to whatever charity would most benefit the demographic of Hydro's son.
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2018-12-24 at 7:11 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by hydromorphone Manhood, lmfao, give me a break.
I might have not traveled to foreign countries (though I may be going to Mexico in the near future to clear this shit up this infection once and for all), but I've seen beauty in the world. I've gone to holy sites, I've been blessed, I've seen strange and wondrous things, and I do have respect for all religions as long as they don't infringe on others rights, and have respect for me, and my beliefs. More or less, it gets down to the person, although there are just some religious doctrine that deserves no respect at all. So many religions have just either been created, or hijacked to control a population, to instill fear in it's followers, many of which were intimidated to follow, and to keep those in power, in power, and to keep those on the bottom, continuing to do their tasks which keeps those at the top comfortable. I have no respect for that, I rebel from shit like that. Believe whatever you want, whatever makes you happy, and while your beliefs don't make it true, as long as it doesn't harm or infringe on others, then more power.
You don't have to leave your home country, especially one as wide, and beautiful as America to see beautiful things, beautiful places, and to enjoy nature such as you've pictured. While different, there are places just as wild, and awesome as that right here in the states.
As for being weak, lol, I've more fortitude within my little finger than all that you possess, §m£ÂgØL. I've done things you cannot imagine, and I've recovered from things I know, for fact, would have crippled your mind and body. I'm tougher than you think I am, and you know, I've been told over and over, (even you used to say how strong) how strong I am… I wish I wasn't this resilient. I just wish for this ride to be over. This is the only time I've really spent any time in the hospital in my life, and I've definitely been dealt some bad damage way before now.
So, you never told me… What is a soul?
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2018-12-24 at 6:52 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionRed glasses
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2018-12-24 at 6:18 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by hydromorphone
This last pic is of the building I'm in. I'm the 8th room from the right.
The jesus statue is cool as fuck. It's humongous in size, and solid marble. The building itself is pretty cool too. It's been here since 1889. The second patient ever admitted here was african american, which back in 1889, not many hospitals would admit a black person back then. This place has really made huge leaps and bounds in research medicine. They're the best hospital in the country, and dare I say at least one of the best world wide. People come from all over the world to get treatment here, shit, even Saudi princes come here for treatment, and they have enough money to go anywhere they want to go.
Some more cool pics of the historical part of the hospital. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I did go into one wing of the hospital and there is a shit load of art there, it's every bit as packed with art as an art gallery. Most of it was donated from art collections of private collectors. Pretty cool actually. I mean, for a hospital stay, it could be worse. I can go smoke whenever I like, I have what is essentially a museum, with a historical building I can romp around day or night, and there's a big ass art gallery on the other end I can go walk around in anytime I feel like it.
When I rest up a bit, I'll trek out and get some pics from the outside of the historical building too, if I feel up to it later.
I'm not shoving my phone over anything. My phone got stolen+. The picture I took last night, and the one of the sunrise this morning I took from my webcam on my laptop (hence the poor quality) right from the window in my hospital room. I'm on the 8th floor, and I have a spectacular view, and gorgeous sunrises and sunsets everyday. Those both I just quickly snapped a pic from my bed with my laptop turned on my lap. I don't even have to move from bed to get that view.
Hey, and you did catch a beautiful view from where you're at. Right now, as it is with my knee, I can't really walk all that far without taking a break. What's with the "drinking water the whole time" comment? That's all I drink pretty much. A week ago I had an orange juice, other than that, I do water, sometimes a cup of hot camomile tea at night, and I use stevia as a sweetener. Is it some achievement to be drinking water or something? Most people drink water. lol maybe you mentioned it because if you're in some 3rd world shithole you'll be shitting your brains out on the hike back down, I suppose. China? From what I hear, they don't have very good water either.
Sure, this is psychosomatic, right? My knee is full of scar tissue, I currently have blood clots in both legs, which while aren't the worst of it, definitely have some degree of pain involved, and I have an infection that literally goes from the knee of my femur, nearly all the way up infecting 3/4th of the entire bone. I have two herniated discs in my back, which you can feel if you run your fingers along my spin, and which I have several MRIs/CTs which shows that. I'm admitted for the osteomyelitis, and DVTs. While I'm here because I'm suffering in pain, and part of my treatment is managing my pain, the reason they've kept me as long as they have is because of the infection, and clots. They don't just keep people because someone wants to be kept, nor do they just write narcotics to people just because they ask for it, and say they're in pain. This hospital literally is full to capacity. It took me 36 hours in the ER to get placed in a room here. The last time I was here I spent over 48 hours before they got me a room. If I didn't have legitimate pain, I wouldn't be getting shit, and if I didn't have a legitimate condition which needs to be treated immediately, in an inpatient setting, I wouldn't be here in this room right now, or would I ever have been admitted in the first place.
Originally posted by hydromorphone Did you use your mom's Stair Master to prepare for this trip?
While it is cool and all, §m£ÂgØL would shit his pants if he so much as saw a venomous snake, much less got bit by one.
I have insurance, and honestly, even though this is as nice as hospitals get, I really do hate being in here. I've AMAed from here before and just went home before. I'm just trying to hang in there until I can get into pain management, otherwise I would have left by now.
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2018-12-24 at 6:12 PM UTC in Aldra, surfing the Kali Yuga
Originally posted by aldra Kali Yuga's the 'final' age before everything gets rebooted in Hindu mythology apparently, a time of degradation, degeneration and destruction. It just means to try to enjoy it as everything goes up in flames because there's little you can do to stop it, or at least that's my interpretation. To be honest I saw the phrase somewhere I don't remember anymore and found it interesting enough to do a bit of background reading.
The picture is Issam Zahreddine, a largely unsung hero in the Syrian war.
I know about the Kali Yuga but never quite understood the catchphrase, makes perfect sense.
IMO that's wrong though. I recommend Steven Pinker's book, The Better Angels of Our Nature. Things are getting better, and people's ability to do good is only multiplying, and now it's bigger than ever before, by far.
I think one of the biggest problem with modern society is that people have become very distanced from goodness. Many young people are coming up having very little connection to "goodness" directly, and really felt what it feels to help another person out, and how fulfilling it is, and how much of a difference one person can really make for others in the real world.
It creates a hopelessness in society like it does in any other arena of life. If you have a big, messy ass bedroom, it viscerally looks and feels impossibly overwhelming to even start cleaning it, if you take in everything at the same time. But if you just pick away at one thing at a time and refrain from contributing to it, the problem inevitably goes away.
The problems of the world are finite. They're a big ass pile, but the pile ends. And sure we always add new things to the pile. But technology is getting better, prosperity is only rising, and solving our problems becomes more realistic with every passing day.
Worst case scenario, we can even just focus on making money, and sending it to Effective Altruism charities, and let smart people figure out how to best use our resources to tackle the big problems while we focus on our own life shit.
But you gotta keep contributing to the positive pile and not to the negstive pile. It seems so easy to just throw another thing onto the negative mountain, and not contribute to the positive one way off in the distance, but it's the good fight. -
2018-12-24 at 5:56 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs AttentionThey can't sue you for medical bills, so for Hydro, a trip to the hospital is like a stay at the Shitz Carlton.
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2018-12-24 at 5:55 PM UTC in Who you think you'd get on with best irl out of hydro and §m£ÂgØL?
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2018-12-24 at 4:14 PM UTC in Aldra, surfing the Kali YugaPlease explain.
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2018-12-24 at 2:12 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
Originally posted by hydromorphone lmfao, okay, sure, blame me for everything despite me not doing one single thing to you, but treat you with love, kindness, and concern, and a desire to help you when you needed it, and to just be there for you when you rejected said help I tried to offer. I can be blamed for all sorts of shit, but the one I can't, or rather shouldn't be, is doing anything harmful to you. You literally attacked me, and did all sorts of insane shit for no cause other than that you had in your fucked up head. You know you did wrong and admitted such all the way up to the point I decided not to keep blaming myself for shit I didn't do, for wrongs I didn't commit- it was at that point you couldn't deal with your own horrible shit, so you try and put that on me. You're too emotionally retarded for any kind of intimate relationship, and you know that deep down, but go ahead, blame me for why you can't be with someone else lol.
I may be a lot of things, and hell, I have done some bad shit in my life, but you… You're the epitome of scum, you have no honor, and whatever moral high you try to take, whatever good you try to front, inside you're just a horrible, shitty person, with a horrible shitty life that you hide behind the nice things you possess, and act as though you're morally superior because you 'need' to take care of your mother, where in actuality, she's the one taking care of you, cleaning up your mess when you decide you want to do stupid shit, get fucked on benzos, and your near yearly attempt (cry for help) at suicide, or you screaming in the street at cops like a lunatic. You're an embarrassment to her. You're a burden to her, and deep down you know it. You're not there helping, you're there being dependent, emotionally, and all the money you fork over to her won't make up for that sort of burden, and embarrassment you are to her. She doesn't need help, she needs her 30+ year old son to move on with his life, and be something more than a line cook at a shitty restaurant, and grow up. That's why she treats you like she does. Of course she loves you because she's your mother, and the only reason she tolerates you. If she wanted you living under her roof at 30+ she wouldn't have sent you packing when you had all sorts of fucked mental shit to some fucked place in what.. Utah? You stay with her because you're too weak, too afraid, and too emotionally immature to live on your own alone, so you stay stuck up her ass, and no wonder she's a bitch, and a royal cunt to you on the daily, no wonder it feels like you never do enough- you don't. You haven't done what most people your age have done, which is get the fuck out of their parents house, and start their own life, but instead you'll pretend you're there to 'help' her. lmfao.
You know I'm right, even if you don't admit it here, you know damn well every word typed here is the truth. I didn't make you how you are, you've always been the way you are, and that's why you never had a real relationship prior to you botching the relationship with me, and letting all the awful inside you come out, letting all your misguided anger attack me, for what? you being jealous, for you being upset you couldn't control me that day? for you not getting your way? Oh, that's right, you've been a spoiled little shit all your life, and all you know is getting your way, and that's why shit upsets you so much when you don't, just like when she made you pack up, and go to some boot camp shit in Utah, because you were a self centered, out of control little shit who was strung out as fuck on benzos/drugs. Hell, you had mommy come to the rescue when you decided to leave once you turned 18, and she jumped and swooped in to save you from actually having to man the fuck up, and take care of yourself.
All you have is just trying to convince yourself that you're in the right because I wouldn't, and won't continue to blame myself for shit I'm not responsible for anymore, which leaves it on you, but you won't be responsible for your own actions, you never have been. All you got left is to try and make me feel bad with stupid, shallow insults, trying to get at me with shit I'd confided in you, thinking you'll strike a cord with me, thinking somehow you have power to hurt me still, when you don't. You're a POWERLESS little shit. Your dumb insults hurt me as much as a hangnail- it's annoying. I know though, when you lay there crying, and in deep thought about your fucked up, sad, little life, you know what I've said is true, and it does hurt you, it hurts you deep, and not because it's what I've said, it hurts because it's true, whether I say it or not.
Keep on with your abusive words if it makes you feel better, but what makes me feel better is knowing that's all you got, that's it, and it makes me laugh knowing that all you can do is try to hurt me with words, and at worst lie in an attempt to try to make me look worse than I truly am. I at least own my own shit, and I cannot be, in all honesty and good faith be blamed, or held accountable for your shitty life, your fucked up emotional retardation, or why you are as you are- a shitty human being all the way around, and by trying to frame me as such is you projecting.
As for 1337, he's a grown man, and I did nothing to ruin his life, or sending him 'off the deep end'. You have no idea where 1337 and I are at even. 1337 has been shooting heroin long before I ever met him, and as a matter of fact, he introduced me to heroin. He nearly ruined his career approximately 2 years ago, long before I was in a relationship with him, or even talking to him daily. He did that all on his own. He went 'off the deep end' then because he's bipolar, and has a severe mental issues, and a drug addiction problem that he's had for a long time and been unable to control. Fuck, he ruined his first marriage because of his addiction, and depletion of their savings on heroin even, but I guess you'd somehow want to frame me as 'sending him off the deep end'? and you know where he's at, right? I'm sure he came crying to you, correct? lol 1337 is going through a lot right now, but I can assure you, he hasn't 'gone off the deep end'. If anyone has 'gone off the deep end', it's been me, since I just don't give two fucks about life anymore regardless of who's around me, or who loves me. I still love 1337 to death, and would do anything in my power for him, and I've kept my vows. I know too, despite all the shit 1337 has gone through, and is dealing with right now, I know he still loves me too. Just with his health, and my health, it's been an exceptionally hard year for us.
It's fucking funny as fuck too, that now you would try and 'defend' 1337, acting as though I've been some negative influence on his life, when before all you did was shit talk him almost as bad as you shit talk me now. All you did was call him a 'worthless junkie who would end up ruining whatever carreer, marriage, and life he built, because he's an idiot with drugs'. lmfao like seriously, you've said that, but somehow now anything that might go wrong with his life, which… he's been fine carreer-wise, aside from the fact the hospital stays have impacted his income somewhat. We just both have had a rough time mentally.
As for my health, I was septic back when I had the infection, and surgeries in May/June. I am no longer septic. I have an MRSA infection that's become chronic (never went away from back in May when it started), and it will likely stay with me for the rest of my life, especially if this treatment of daptomycin does not work, unless I go for the amputation option, which I am really considering, honestly wish they would just do it. What I have will likely not kill me, not unless it randomly becomes worse, and spreads beyond the bone, which is pretty unlikely. It's the blood clotting disorder, that's what may kill me.
The only parasite here is you. You know this, it's why like I stated before you cling to your mother, why you won't go out on your own, and say you're helping her as your excuse to keep leeching emotionally from her, and being a parasite, and why she has such disdain for you, and treats you like the shit you are, and yeah, I see it now, and sympathize with her. If I had a son like you, I'd feel about the same. To some degree I pity you, but you don't even deserve pity for what sort of shitty human being you truly are. Go ahead, hide behind 'look at what xyz nice act I did', but anyting you might do is just to mask the scum person just below the surface. I wish I'd had seen it sooner, and I'd have encouraged you to kill yourself , rather than reaching out to you in an attempt to save your life.
Originally posted by hydromorphone
Check this beautiful sunrise out over the skyline, and the dome at Hopkins. I went down to the dome yesterday and fell asleep for 2 hours in a wingback chair lol. Best sleep I've got since I've been here. I went and checked out the giant marble jesus statue, and wandered around the historic part of the hospital. I even went out front and they have a sundial, and it's really grand looking at it from the front historic entrance. I couldn't ask for a better view being on the 8th floor here. It's cool too that this is one of the only hospitals that aren't cunts about patients leaving the floor and going out to smoke. That's how I've made buddies with the security dudes at the desk entrance I use to wander out to smoke. We are on a first name basis with the security, and ladies at the front desk. I honestly do prefer this hospital over others.
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2018-12-24 at 2:12 PM UTC in Not all races are created equal
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2018-12-24 at 9:50 AM UTC in Not all races are created equalThem Swedes do be having so we fine ass honeys tho
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2018-12-24 at 7:38 AM UTC in We have a moral obligation to stop eating meat
Originally posted by DietPiano I said what Obbe just said in different words, which was what I said earlier. Partly because you didn't respond to it.
@Lanny
Moral Obligation is a function that society imposes on people to get them to act a certain way. Nobody knows what is good and bad. There is no non-referential good and bad.
Good and bad only exist to people because it makes them feel differently when they decide to believe in such things. Therefor, morality is based on feelings, not reason. Therfor, a moral obligation is an imposed obligation on someone based on someone else's feelings. Not based on reasons.
Ex. The reason you should do this is to maximize happiness/whateverness.
What is universal happiness? Answer- I don't know. I think it is this and this and this.
Why?
Because that feels better.
The root of morality is feelings. Feelings are subjective. Moral obligations are obligations based on feelings, and not necessarily your own.
@Lanny if there is a universally true moral system, do you expect everyone to conform legally? Peradventure it would increase the maximum happiness/whateverness to do so.(?)
Anyway, nothing can be made better, and nothing can be made worse. If I kick somebody's aunt, that doesn't make the world any better or worse.
Spot the category error, if you are worthy of a proper response. -
2018-12-24 at 2:22 AM UTC in Who you think you'd get on with best irl out of hydro and §m£ÂgØL?
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2018-12-24 at 2:22 AM UTC in Who you think you'd get on with best irl out of hydro and §m£ÂgØL?
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2018-12-24 at 2:13 AM UTC in Who you think you'd get on with best irl out of hydro and §m£ÂgØL?
Originally posted by hydromorphone Just because I try to prepare for the worst case scenario, doesn't mean I'd preform a surgery on someone if they didn't want me to. I may make my case, and give my advice, but at the end of the day, that's your choice to make. I would want my wishes respected, so I would certainly respect the wishes of others. (an example: You experienced facial trauma that left you unable to breathe from swelling/injury, and either there was no way to get an EMT/Doctor/Hospital in time, and otherwise you would die if I didn't preform a circothyrotomy… Well, if I knew prior to this that you didn't want me to preform a life saving medical procedure on you… Well… I would respect your right to die if that's what you wanted.)
§m£ÂgØL has framed his experiences with me as though I've tried to force shit on him that he didn't want done, when that's furthest from the truth. I heard for MONTHS and MONTHS that he was scared he was diabetic, and he was often having anxiety over this potential fear, and family history… so of course I offered to check his blood sugar with the blood glucose tester I had, which I of course would have used never used sticks, and test strips with. I mean… this is the first line, and easiest way to see if someone is diabetic before going to a doctor to get a referral for blood work… which he also didn't want to do either… so of course after the thousandth time of him bitching about his concern that he was diabetic I said "For fucks sake, stop being a pussy either you stick, or let me stick your finger, use the tester, and fucking see what your blood sugar is before eating, an hour after eating, and then 4 hours after eating so we can get an idea with what your sugar is, and how if fluctuates/how your pancreas does with releasing insulin, and how much sugar you got floating around at given times… doing this multiple times will give us a frame of reference, and be able to determine if you should worry about being diabetic or not…" and then he would bitch and cry and say "No", but then go on crying and bitching that he was scared he was diabetic because a large portion of his family is diabetic. Even telling him to go to the doctor if he didn't want to check it out for himself, he would bitch and say "No". This is where he's gone on about "she'll try and poke and stick you" shit. At another time, when I was taking a B-complex IM shot to help me feel better, and have more energy, I OFFERED him a shot too, since he complained about feeling tired all the time (one of his concerns about being diabetic.. lo, and behold, he was just lazy) and he acted like I was threatening him all because I was holding MY shot when I offered him a shot. I never pushed the issue, I just explained how it might help him, and that there was no real risk in taking an IM shot of a B-complex.
uh, no, no I would not. I'm a lot less sexual of a person than I guess I've come across on the forum. I suppose it's because of 3 relationships that I've been in with other forum regulars. I got into those relationships not for sex, rather for the closeness to that person that we were at the time. Of course we had sex, but that was second to just wanting to be near that person, at least at the time.
Hell, PoC, we barely had sex once due to the fact his dick was so small he couldn't get it in me, and that's the God's honest truth, and I suppose that attempt was him "losing his virginity" lol. God… for the things I do feel bad for, it's for taking the virginity of two faggots on here. All it did was make make them even more faggots who blame all their problems on me rather than man up and take responsibility. Does everyone do this, where they blame everything on the first pussy the stick/try to stick it in? It seems that way.
I have a few long term friends, friends I've had for 15+ years. The reason I don't have a lot of friends has nothing to do with me making them. I have a lot of people I meet, and easily befriend. I've met people I've known now for years just by striking up conversation in a store, and hell, I've literally made 5 friends in the month+ I've been in the hospital. The guys who work security down at the main lobby desk LOVE me, and I bullshit and smoke all the time with them.
Ironically enough, I tend to go through very antisocial phases, and that's when I start avoiding people, not answering calls, having anxiety about just opening, and reading emails/mail they send me, or checking voicemail, which is why I don't even set VM up anymore. I'm pretty antisocial in general, it's just sometimes I get REALLY bad with it where I just can't deal with most people. The people who stick as friends are the people who are persistent, and patient with me.
§m£ÂgØL forgets that there was several occasions where I pretty much told him to fuck off and go live his life, and he forgets that he literally threatened me if I didn't stay talking to him He threatened to call DFC if I wouldn't stay his 'friend', because apparently just updating him on the status of the baby wasn't good enough, and this was before my son was even born, before I left my ex of 11 years, before there was anything between us. THat was his chance to just move the fuck along and not have to worry about nothing… but at the time that's not what he wanted.
I've pushed a lot of people away from me in the past. Sometimes it's just the avoiding shit, and like with §m£ÂgØL, and even 1337 back in the beginning of our relationship/just before we got together, I would just avoid, and then just tell them to fuck off if they got persistent, and eventually I'd come around after a while. When I don't keep friends, it's because I don't want to keep friends. I'm pretty happy alone/having just a select few people around me.
Oh, and on §m£ÂgØL bragging about his minor blips of success: I think he fails to tell everyone about his ability to keep employment since he pretty much quits work when he's bored of it, or his family is going on vacation. Another thing that is irritating is his quitting without notice shit. Yes, I was a stupid dumb teenager once and I quite a couple jobs suddenly, but I later realized that it just looks bad to not at least give a week notice. It's also just lazy too. One day that shit will come back to haunt him, I'm pretty sure of that. I don't even think he's worked at the same place for more than a couple months at a time. By the time I was his age, I'd at least had a few years work experience at a couple places by then. Hell, there even was a time I was doing well and successful like he's doing now. I worked my ass off, and shit, I was doing work I loved at the time too. Fuck, there was a point where I was rolling around in more money than I knew what to do with. Things can change in an instant though.
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