Cly
African Astronaut
[foredate your moneyless friar's-cowl]
So clone your self extrapolate your dna remove the y chromosome
you would have to have the exact code for it to be a happy ending
and they will work like a slave to please you, but it won't matter because they'll have someone and you will know so much and so much about them. I would pay to do this.
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Yeah i actually started going to meetings in 2011. I sat in the back in the dark where no one could see me. I got high before i went bc being in there felt like being a whore in church, fucked up my anxiety bad. I never spoke, obviously- bc they even if i had the guts to, they request you not share if youve used in the last 24 hours. I just felt like i couldnt get on their level so i shouldnt go. I wanted to be clean but not sober, and i wanted to get something by osmosis, but i didnt have any framework for my life, or hope enough thatthimgs could be better.
I still may go back but idk. Id be doing my own program. Doesnt necessarily mean doing substances, but itd mean de emphasizing higher power shit and complete abstinence, and more in fostering relationships, introspection,balance, being present in the moment.
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This is so sad. He was one of my favorite people. And I was one of his favorite people. and now he is not even a person. Oh the memories we could have had. All the good times (maybe) He even called the fona-fone (many times actually) Ill try to find his number and confirm all of this.
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So my sponsor called tonight. I told him a lot of things but the gist of it was i said i feel like shit and im thinking about ctb constantly and whether life is worth living if i feel like this all the time and my back is fucking breaking and im never comfortable and i dont want to talk and i dont want to do fucking Zoom meetings and im tired of being a downer so i just want tobe left alone for a while. I said I hate every decision ive made and I resent the program for making me feel so shitty and conflicted about taking neurontin and smoking weed for excruciating pain. I said it feels like church again when every answer is just “pray about it”, “practice gratitude”, etc. Its like my mom and this fucking cat: theres a very simple thing that can make somehign hard easier. The cost of doing this thing is nil. But nah...we’re just gonna close our eyes as tight as possible and just SUFFER and HAVE FAITH that things will get better. Thats dog shit and I fucking resent it. If I smoke weed 2 or 3 times a week b. im on the verge of crying i shouldnt have to feel like some polish pedophile who tried to jack off on a child at Sea World about it.
He said “Im always here if you ever want to talk- day or night- but this is where im going to have to suggest you get a sponsor locally.” Which i said yeah to, but im not gonna do that either. Im too angry right now. I just want to rip everyones head off. I want to put my head through a fucking wall. I dont want to talk about my shitty life or what half baked runner up prize “plan” God had for me and my life. The facts are: I made bad choices bc i was cowardly and afraid. Im now reaping the consequences of those choices. Many of those consequences are going to last until the day I die. Thats depressing. Will something good come out of this? Yeah maybe. Anything is possible when the universe is chaos. But i just do not give a fuck anymore. I do not have the will, the energy, the wherewithal -whatever- for lip service and platitudes and kicking the fucking can down the road with more God talk. I just dont. if i think i can “get away” with doing something that helps, and not spiral myself back into major addiction, im just going to do it and im tired feeling guilty about it.
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Originally posted by Cheyes
I think I'm done with krek. I had a g and a half that was pretty great, and everything since is just sad. I don't think I have a good source for it anymore and I think my brain isn't allowing euphoria from it anymore.
I also stopped using Crouton completely several days ago, which is great, it's really not a good long-term thing and I was taking way too much anyway. I feel quite a bit better off it. The less great news is that I got more fentaroys, although a weaker mix because the last batch was almost pure and was just WAY too strong. This is a little weaker but still crazy strong. I ended up overdosing again, this time I fell on my back but very luckily didn't end up puking until I broke out of the death chasm and was able to stumble to the toilet quickly. Last time I barfed in my sleep but was laying on my stomach so I didn't choke. I got some free Narcan through obammercare, but fent smoke hits you so hard thats its very difficult to recognize that you need to spray yourself before you're already unconscious. Oh well.
RIP
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Originally posted by WellHung
The nigger had a bat, not a gun. The nigger was being stupid, but the nigger should have been tazed, not shot to death.
Bastard was tazed. Didn't work on him. Cops need to get back to the basics. Fucking batons. That's what they're for. Non-lethal. Trained in it's use. Guy with a bat has no chance. Give him a good whack in the head. Knock him out without killing him.
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Originally posted by -SpectraL
Imagine living peacefully in your own country for thousands of years and suddenly you have a pack of savages trying to kill you on sight and rape and scalp your family. Then they steal all your land and start living on it. When you start fighting back, they run to the media and label you terrorists and start killing even more of you, as a righteous and pure and judicial exercise, clearing what little consciences they had left.
The government even put up posters all over the place advertising cash payouts for Indian scalps. So a bag of scalps could get you several thousand dollars. Kids, women, grandfathers, grandmothers, toddlers, they all got scalped and their scalps put into bags and then they'd bring the bags in to get counted and the cash paid out. You could make a comfortable living just scalping thousands of Indian families.
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