Originally posted by mmQ
Will you tell us the story of your first meeting ever? Do you remember it?
A young guy (19) who worked for me at my last job asked me to be his sponsor. I didn't know anything about it but ended up going to some meetings...Not 100% they were official AA meetings...NA or some other independent meeting perhaps...anyway we were all sat in a circle (about 15 or so) and they were doing the name thing..he stood up and say "My name is XXXX and my drug of choice is lean"...everyone clapped (except me).
After he sat down I whispered "what the fuck is lean"...he said "cough medicine"...I laughed.
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I was in Aldi yesterday and saw the Cauliflower base pizza were 50% off...well as you know I can't say no to a good deal...and a low carb one at that...
HOWEVER...upon inspection of the nutritional value list it said Per serving (3 slices) 39g of Carbs...what the fuck...what's the fucking point of fucking around making a base out of cauliflower and charging twice the normal price and still ending up with 39g carbs in 3 tiny slices.
I threw the pizza back in the cooler and stormed off to the cheese section.
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Originally posted by vindicktive vinny
how does it feels to be a prostitute.
Great.
The drug I'm on I would need to take a version of anyway...and pay for it (copay is $60 per visit)
The drug trial I'm on is a variant of the same drug and has already been in testing 10yrs so it's well documented and in the final stages of testing before going to FDA approval...so far results show better performance than the original drug with less side effects.
...so instead of paying $60 a month I get paid $100 a month AND get a better drug into the bargain....it's a win win nigga.
the doc recommended me to the trail because I was "the perfect virgin candidate"
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I dated a chick who used to be head of security at Bush intercontinental airport here in Houston before I met her. Turned out she got fired for getting a DUI, when I met her she was installing floors for a flooring company lol.
2 weeks after breaking up with her because she was fucking nuts she called me from jail saying she'd been arrested for DUI again and needed $300 to bail her out..
"velly solly, wong numba!"
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Originally posted by vindicktive vinny
srsly tho, theres nothing gayer than hanging a copy of a copy of a copy of something great and famous, regardless of what it is.
Well I can think of lots of gayer things...sticking your dick in another mans bum and saying "ooooh that feels lovely"...that's a lot gayer than hanging a picture up.
You should get out more and get some real world experience.
(Plus I'm pretty sure buying the original would be out of my price range)
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Originally posted by I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4
Oh so people literally have there legs shrink when Walk ng a certain direction PRETTY SURE this is false
You probably failed perspective class. 2 objects of the same size, if viewed from different distances will appear of different sizes...or if the distance isn't so great MAYBE still the same size...THE FURTHER ONE AWAY THOUGH WILL NOT APPEAR BIGGER THAN THE CLOSER ONE...
The left leg is clearly smaller/thinner than the right leg and so...further away...making the man..running away from the camera...compare the calves.
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Originally posted by frala
I used to be best friends with a guy named Juice and he called my house the Betty Ford Clinic. I wonder if I ever hurt any feelings at 3 am. You gotta get up to get down if you know what I mean.
Looks like ghost hacked Frala's account.
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The kid could have learned a valuable life lesson that day...instead a 1000 dumbfucks came out the woodwork and raised $9k for him...thereby turning the valuable lesson into a "if you fuck up someone will bail you out" lesson.
SMH
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Originally posted by Kafka
He reminds me of my dad, born in the 50s, sociable, always has 50s music playing. He likes my vintage dresses but I suspect he likes younger women, based on the staff he’s hired. Today he came over twice to check out my septum piercing, said it didn’t go with my 40s dress. In a joking manner but I suspect he’s a perfectionist or something.
You should have responded "Neither does my clit piercing"
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Back when I was a young-fella-me-lad I work temporarily for this building materials distribution company...lots of rough chaps working there. We had a works canteen who used to serve us lunches for a quid or so...a bit like school lunches and the ladies behind the counter doing the serving looked like school lunch ladies (and probably had been).
I was in line one day and one of said burly gentlemen was slightly ahead of me and the lunch lady said to him...with spatula in hand:
"What do you want luv"
And he quick as a flash popped out his willy, laid it on the counter in front of her and said
"Put some o' yer gravy on my Saveloy" (a popular type of sausage in Britain)
Equally quick as a flash she raised her spatula and brought it down with such force...but fortunately for him he was slightly quicker and just managed to withdraw said sausage in time before it being transformed into a waffle.
..we all laughed heartily.
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