Posts by Speedy Parker

1. 2024-08-14 at 3:40 AM UTC in what's the last thing you bought?
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In the Garden of Eden, there was only one snake, and it had several legs.

   
   There were actually 1000s of "serpents" but there was a council of thirteen who led them. Among the thirteen one interacted with the adams and eves or the first generation of the genetic alteration of indigenous primates we call homo sapien.
   
   This one of thirteen mentioned was the chief geneticist and a member of the aforementioned council.
   
   The fruit of the tree of forbidden knowledge was a gift fron that one particular "serpent"(they were actually reptilian bipedal hominids). The gift was forbidden by the council and its what we think of as free will.
   
   This "serpent" in the garden had pity for the adams and eves as they had been genetically bred as mining livestock to extract the gold needed to clean the poisoned atmosphere on their home world. The garden of eden was a prison not a paradise.
   
   This forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge was a gene splice the serpent gave the eves. He did this knowing the genetic modification which "boosted" our evolution to include free will and self determination would be passed on to all future offspring of the mining prison.
   
   Man was not thrown out of the garden of eden, he escaped from the pridon of eden thanks to the "serpent" in the "garden".
2. 2024-08-14 at 3:22 AM UTC in I am NOT dead...
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by Elbow Supposedly this is the same guy with his Japanese wife years later. 🥺

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   The upper lips look nothing alike to me.
3. 2024-08-14 at 2:15 AM UTC in what's the last thing you bought?
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ They did before Adam and Eve ate the fruit.

   
   Snakes have toes.
   
   
4. 2024-08-14 at 2:14 AM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Because I've seen everything.

   
   You ain't seen shit unless it can be seen from a roof or a dirty smoky bar.
5. 2024-08-14 at 2:12 AM UTC in Teaching Jordan Peterson that Climate Change is Real
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood According to the record, climate change definitely exists and is caused by humans
   
   (See: Carbon dating during the periods of the industrial revolution)

   
   Wrong
6. 2024-08-14 at 2:12 AM UTC in I am NOT dead...
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by Elbow ree-seeru
   
   

   
   Fat white guys trying be like samurai crack me up.
7. 2024-08-14 at 12:11 AM UTC in I am NOT dead...
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by Bradley I prefer knowing you as Riser which I have been saying for a long time

   
   I always called him rizzer cuz it rhymes with jizzer.
8. 2024-08-14 at 12:10 AM UTC in Weird behavior
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by Warcry u look like him not me bradley im not fuckin bald like you guys.

   
   If I had to have Bradly's hair or your brain I would definitely own hats.
9. 2024-08-14 at 12:09 AM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole

   Originally posted by Dirtbag I don't like dogs, was bitten by one when I was 7, others have tried to attack me and the loud barking startles me. People who like them only love them conditionally, it's not an equal relationship. With cats the relationship is real. I like cats because they've quiet and I'm also hypersensitive, and they like me.

   
   Dogs are smart, they know human trash when they see it.
10. 2024-08-14 at 12:02 AM UTC in THE MAGA PARTY!,,, the GOP is dead, republicans are going down with the dems,, get ready for THE MAGA PARTY lefty's
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Everything has gone to shit since 2020.

    
    Everything has been going to shit since I December 23, 1913. It started out as as tiny little shit ball rolling down a gentle shit slope. The the next year that shit slope turned into a shit hill that grew into a shit mountain which exploded into a shit volcano that spewed shit balls onto the top of every shit mountain on the entire shit planet in 1939. Since 1945 those balls of worldwide shit have been shittily rolling down shit mountains gaining momentum as the shit grease rolled them into the gigantic balls if shit rolling directly at you.
11. 2024-08-13 at 11:51 PM UTC in Would you remember CrispyC
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by RisiR † Hannah Boyd kinda rings a bell…
    
    Is that how the feds get me? Why do I know your name.

    
    I told you once ding dong, niggas in orbit is ded to da fed
12. 2024-08-13 at 11:38 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Poglatarips
13. 2024-08-13 at 7:56 PM UTC in Weird behavior
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by Warcry Some Ukrainian girl who is my neighbour not the one downstairs but nearby similar age or 13-15 or so was walking by with a friend I hit them up saying I think we live near each orher her friend kept cock blocking acting rude sort of not really just said no u don’t know her or us or some shit later I sat down and they sort of went into the mall area but stood there staring back at me I kept sitting and they walked by and one took a photo of me walking by I don’t fuck get it guys is it w crime to say hello neighbour to a young chick?

    
    They probably uploaded the photo to predator/creeper database.
14. 2024-08-13 at 7:52 PM UTC in Butter dogs are the greatest food ever
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood hotdog bug

    
    
15. 2024-08-13 at 6:01 PM UTC in Would you remember CrispyC
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by Crispy If i died would you remember CrispyC?
    Iam crispyc

    
    Who the fuck are you?
16. 2024-08-13 at 5:58 PM UTC in Butter dogs are the greatest food ever
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    o
    Hot Dog Johnny's has one of best dogs I've tried in over 20 states. They are a natural casing all beef dog boiled in buttermilk.
17. 2024-08-13 at 5:51 PM UTC in Trying harder to be a good person.
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Forgive me if I don't take your advice…

    
    Why would I need to forgive you for doing yourself a disservice? It's no skin off my ass.
18. 2024-08-13 at 5:49 PM UTC in Motherfuckers be stepping on toes and shit
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Pickled ginger
19. 2024-08-13 at 5:45 PM UTC in What are you thinking about....
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by Dirtbag I need to take a selfie in case I become a missing person again.

    
    Nobody will miss you
20. 2024-08-13 at 2:21 PM UTC in Video essay on what Christianity was like for Rome (warning: low effort post)
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Stupid