I asked her if she ever wonders if the life she's in is a dream and her dreams are the real world
"well we as catholics are supposed to believe we are judged first"
Then I asked her if the past is merging into the future and the present
"Idk I mean maybe"
She was on vocabulary worksheets level E when she was 12.
Her response though is just "I'm not smart." it's so cute I just want to bite her little butt. I have no idea how I never realized the person I was talking to is borderline mentally retarded except cocktail for indiscriminate hitting on kittens that become your BFF and you guys do all sorts of things you don't remember at all and you couldn't even remember her name for the first week
Now she's all like Munchausens and favoriting love songs all the time and songs about break ups, like what the fuck girl do you realize what I said to you even.
Then when she's 16 I'll confess my love to her, take her virginity, and never, ever call her again. It will be the most epic pwn ever.
I'm prescribed 100mg/day but I ate 300mg and snorted 500mg yesterday, and ate 100mg with 500mg snorted. As soon as you snort it something feels strange, like you're suddenly more alert and things (literally) seem brighter, it numbs out your mouth and nose and you feel a wad of tension in your stomach, you start shaking and immediately you want to get shit done, like I drummed for 45 minutes straight with full energy today and usually i dont play for more than 5 minutes at a time. You also feel sapped of life and the tension seems to suggest you might convulse at some point (which all cathinones dp), while I'm typing this right now my hand eye co-ordination is fucked and it's hard for me to type, I keep on writhing my feet around because my body is producing too much energy to be sitting, Everything feels plastic and weightless and my chest is producing some sort of euphoric feeling that emanates throughout the body, it has dissociative properties for me; iIll be sitting there getting lost in some convoluted thought process and I'm just sitting there with my mouth agape doing nothing. It exacerbates my HPPD like crazy because I'm getting static in my vision everywhere and they're multicolored but it's really mild, you have to focus on it to actually notice it. Then when I'm walking down the street to buy cigs people look like machines I guess nicotine receptors are involved with human face processing and everythings weightless sort of like I'm in a video game but at the same time I feel kind of feverish and I keep on hallucinating things out of the corner of my vision which hopefully isn't a psychosis and just a symptom of drug abuse. When I smoked spice last night and visited the temple where I met Arrakis it filled me with dread because now I think he's always going to be interfering with my trips and trying to make me have a heart attack. I think by thinking to myself that Arrakis can't control my thoughts he won't be able to get past my plasma dome which I discussed in my other thread. And now I'm crying because I had some realization about a certain person who views my posts but isn't a totsean. Oh well I wasted the high typing this I wonder if I can come up with anything else cool on the drums because when I play I get locked into some sort of pattern and then I instinctively play that rhythm, it's kind of hard to always improvise. When I come down from this stuff I get the most intense feeling of dread and worthlessness but what comes up must come down as the say, like I realized I sit at my computer doing nothing all day long, every day, and I'm wasting away. My entire life is my computer and it's a fucking sad thing.
I worshiped the temple for the first time in 10th grade when I was in a pool and had splash fights, I closed my eyes and stuck my head in the water and I envisioned in the back of my eyelids the temple of sickness standing tall. It was a part of my mind and to worship it I had to pray to my phosphenes which seemed spatially separated from my body. I used to hallucinate moving 3-d goo in the dark every night when I was in my batshit crazy time of my life and the 3-d goo would encapsulate me and lift me out of my body. This would happen when I was sober. I took way too much fucking bundy as a preteen. The temple has many monks who are their to embrace their inner sickness and you are a guest to their activities, every time you pray to the monks in your head they would appreciate your gesture and grant you god''s grace by releasing endorphins into the blood. That's how they draw you in, with the dopamine devil. Yesterday I met another entity which I believe was named Arrakis and he was a three headed dragon with razor sharp teeth and he kept on trying to infiltrate my reality and become something real to me but I activated my plasma shield of phosphenes and I saw the burning of dragon flesh against the matrix armor dome. Bass-Yun is benevolent, Figyarnus is malevolent, and Arrakis is just no.
Took 800mg from the bottle, ate 300mg, and I'm going to snort 500mg throughout the day.
Taken from some forum:
[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]ORAL:[/FONT]
Bupropion[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif] metabolizes into 4 different [/FONT]drugs[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]…[/FONT]
[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]R,R-hydroxybupropion[/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]S,S-hydroxybupropion[/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]threo-hydrobupropion[/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]erythro-hydrobupropion[/FONT]
[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]All 5 of these chemicals inhibit [/FONT]
[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]DA uptake <- the good part[/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]NE uptake [/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]α3β4 nicotinic[/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]α4β2 nicotinic [/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]α1* nicotinic[/FONT]
[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]In different potencies for different durations[/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]Throw in each persons different brain chemistry, [/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]and stomach absorption rates..[/FONT] [FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]Other combinations[/FONT]
[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]You have the MOST random, unpredictable, pin ball anti-depressant ever.[/FONT]
[FONT=MS Reference Sans Serif]Results in ONLY bupropion reaching the brain…all at once…[/FONT]
I wonder if the oral metabolites will potentiate the unaltered bupropion that reaches my brain when I snort it. It actually felt stimulating like amphetamine when I took it orally the first few days, and that was only 100mg. It's kind of fun overall.
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