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Posts by NARCassist
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2017-08-14 at 1:48 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by mmQ Although I never forget you're from England, I still read your posts in my own accent, so it's fun to be reminded of how you actually sound when you're saying it or thinking it. Same with aldra and the Aussie accent.
i hate how my voice sounds on recording. i basically have the look and voice of a thug that you'd see coming out of west ham football ground on a saturday afternoon. its not the best look, lol.
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2017-08-14 at 1:45 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by hydromorphone I probably am the worst parent ever, besides his father. I'm trying to do right by him. There is a lot wrong with me that prevents me from giving him the life he deserves and will suffer for if I'm left in his life. I cannot provide for him properly, and I realize that now. A lot to do with my health issues. My dependency is solely revolving around my chronic pain and physical ailments. I never stopped being suicidal, this is something I've dealt with for a looooong time. I have been going steadily down hill for the last 4 years or so, probably longer, just more rapidly in the last couple years.
I am just trying to do the best I can for him before I go and set him up right. Once I'm gone, it doesn't matter. I am a selfish person. I think he should grow up resenting me while I'm dead, than me resenting him while I'm alive.
just being there with him is all that matters girl, anything other than that is just bonus.
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2017-08-14 at 1:37 AM UTC in The Murdering Nazi at Va Rally
Originally posted by infinityshock no you illiterate retard. the cops died because they don't know how to fly and had absolutely nothing to do with the rally itself. the media saying '3 died' is trying for sensationalism because the cops weren't even there. ONE dumb bitch died via suicide-by-bumper.
how the fuck am i an illiterate retard when all i know about this is what has been said in this fred. i've never heard of this story outside of NIS. you dumbfuckshit
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2017-08-13 at 9:40 PM UTC in The Murdering Nazi at Va Rally
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2017-08-13 at 9:15 PM UTC in What's your favorite undergroundwhat is with you amerifags and comic books? you all like obsessed with em.
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2017-08-13 at 9:10 PM UTC in getting a fox addicted to weed baconthis^
when i was sleeping in my car i used to park in this same car park on the outskirts of the city alongside a chainlink fence. on the other side of the fence was this driveway leading to a gate that went into a park. about 3am one night, it was summer and i had the window right down and was tootin some gear when i saw a fox emerge from the bush by the gate. i sat perfectly still and watched as another fox appeared, followed by 3 cubs. this happened almost the same time every night. i started to get packs of chicken breast and steaks and dropped them the other side of the fence to where i was parked and would sit perfectly still and watch a family of foxes dine on the meat literally 2 yards from me. i did film it on my phone at the time but it was years ago and lost the footage. i was like a homeless david attenborough.
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2017-08-13 at 8:58 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by mmQ Will everyone just make a little vocaroo? If you don't want to show your faces, can i at least hear what you sound like? Thank you!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0TwEwSc4Tsf
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2017-08-13 at 7:20 PM UTC in just made a 3 legged friend in the garden
Originally posted by Totse 2001 Sweet.. time to put other street performers out of business. Get the cat, I'll bring the cardboard and boom box.
have you got that tune that goes...
'hey you, the rocksteady crew'
'show em what you got'
'make a break'
'make a move'
he fucking loves that one, does the caterpillar to it and everything.
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2017-08-13 at 7:04 PM UTC in just made a 3 legged friend in the garden
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2017-08-13 at 7:01 PM UTC in i think i have a little dilemma developing.damn it, she just cancelled on me. i bet some fucking punter just called and snatched her from under my nose, fucking old pervert.
prolly just as well tho, i texted her said did she want to come and help me finish off this bit of gear i had left. she said 'cool yeah. after she cancelled i thought ok, more for me then. i tipped the lot onto some foil and there was no where near as much as i'd thought lol. i would have looked like a right plonker, ha.
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2017-08-13 at 6:57 PM UTC in go outside and shut the doori know what you could wish for me
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2017-08-13 at 6:07 PM UTC in i think i have a little dilemma developing.she certainly will be when i get my way with her
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2017-08-13 at 6:06 PM UTC in i think i have a little dilemma developing.she just texted half hour :)
she's coming, my woman is coming.
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2017-08-13 at 5:01 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by hydromorphone He will hate me in life, as much a he will come to hate me with my death. I really don't care about that. He likely, dude to genetic, personality, and other traits will turn to drugs, with or without me in his life. Honestly, he's got a better shot of having a drug free life without me in it that he does with my influence, being I'm physically dependent now, and will be for the rest of my life.
If we were talking about the average person, then I'd be more inclined to believe you, but we aren't. I am in no way average, and have a fuckload of negative traits, with very few positive ones, and even this positive traits often manifest and act in a negative way. He really will be better off without me in his life. He doesn't deserve to be apart of my negative that is the entirety of who I am, and what makes me, me.
With the logic you used here, then what if I were killed in a car accident, or my thoracic aortic aneurysm finally ruptures? The latter is actually pretty likely to happen at some point in the near future if I keep on existing. I'm losing all my independence day by day, and it's likely he will be forced out of my life anyway, with that if I keep existing, with my health taking a nose-dive, before too much longer. I seizure fairly regularly, pretty frequently. I have been in status epilepticus, twice (or so I thought more than that actually. I was only counting the times I was fucked for an hour or so with back to back seizures happening more than 3 back to back, and not returning to normal, but apparently having two or more seizures 5minutes apart without returning to normal constitutes status epilepticus, which under those definitions, I've been in that state dozens of times, and it's fairly common. I just realized this when I was looking up how to spell "epilepticus" and seen the mention for it being of that duration/experience, where I was just going on what I've seen and known from other epileptic people I've known long before I was epileptic myself.) which was really, really fucked. Both times I was yelled and screamed at, right before the one incident began, I was physically shaken awake despite them knowing stress, yelling, screaming, and my anxiety, and fear being elevated is a huge trigger for me to seizure. It took me a while to realize the correlation, along with sleep deprivation which is a bitch since I have insomnia. I have low energy, motivation, so when I have taken stims, they usually contribute to me seizuring too, but… shit has to get done, so it's a trade off I often will make. Anti-epileptic drugs really, really fucking steal who I am as a person, and take my already low energy status to a whole new low. I've tried a couple different ones. They all make me want to shrivel up and die inside, the way they make me feel, very similar to anti-psychotic drugs, such as seroquel, do to me, and I have taken benzos/used alcohol that does help, and seizured despite using. Phenibut helped som what, but I don't want another monkey on my back, especially a GABA/benzo monkey on my back. I've seizured taking gabapentin too, at really high, insane doses, albeit, it wasn't as common as it would have been had I had nothing to take through the WDs from T-PAIN I was in. I'm losing my memory. I swear, I feel like I have Alzheimers. It's scary as fuck not remembering things I know damned well I should have recalled, but can't. It's getting worse and worse for me. I'm scared as fuck for how this is progressing. I'm sure my steroid use for the crippling inflammation that cropped up is contributing here, and making me far more erratic and emotionally fucked, and insane. I knew it'd do this to me, and why I haven't bothered to use it unless shit was really, really fucking bad. I went a year where I needed it pretty regularly, and seen how that affected me after the fact and it was horrible so for me to use it again, it was pretty dire circumstances. My cardiac problems are worsening, with severe angina, rapid heart rate… I've had a couple times in the past few months (last time just maybe a week ago while talking with PoC, which kinda got sparked off with an anxiety attack) where it sure as hell felt just like the time I went to the ER for a heart attack. I don't doubt I've suffered more than the one I was diagnosed with back in March 2016.
If I don't kill myself, I likely will die in the near future anyway, just with a lot more suffering and won't have shit sorted out for my son properly if I go forward attempting to live. Not just that, but things have already been set into motion and if I back out now, it's going to get really, really bad for me.
I'm in so much pain day to day, and I'm tired of gritting my teeth to just deal with it and hide it from everyone around me.
oh fucking hell, mememememe, that's all i'm fucking hearing here. YOUR SON NEEDS YOU FOR FUCK SAKE. stop being a fucking pussy and step up, he needs you to do that. do you think you're the only parent suffering with illness? do you think your son is the only kid with a parent who is ill, or drug dependant? he'll forgive you for any of that because he'll know its out of your control and as a son will love you unconditionally. what he won't forgive you for, and will fucking hate and resent you for is abandoning him.
have a look at your son, is he not worth going to hell and back for?
right now you are sounding like the worst parent ever.
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2017-08-13 at 3:14 PM UTC in Sometimes I wear nazi underwear
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2017-08-13 at 12:52 PM UTC in I'm so funny
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2017-08-13 at 12:50 PM UTC in Optimal time of day for cognitive worki much prefer the night and have always been a real night owl. you get less faggots about at night, plus america comes online so the internet is less boring. i really don't sleep specific times anyway, just go to sleep whenever i feel tired. as a result i often don't crash till like 7am, or even not till the afternoons. my sleep pattern has a tendency to rotate around the clock, generally i'll go to sleep about an hour or so later each day than when i did the previous day. last night i didn't sleep till around 7pm, then was awake by 3am. i'll prolly get my head down later about 8pm or summing when i start to get tired.
i dunno, but i really love the peacefulness of being out during the early hours, that strange peaceful vibe of the witching hour is awesome.
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2017-08-13 at 12:35 PM UTC in I'm so funny
Originally posted by -SpectraL I've been dealing with victims since 1989.
just out of curiosity, how d
Originally posted by -SpectraL I've been dealing with victims since 1989.
just out of curiosity, how do you manage relating to your fellow victims? do you all go to support group together? do you all meet up at a bar afterwards and talk about how frightening the world is these days? do you lend each other a shoulder to cry on and does this help at all?
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2017-08-13 at 12:30 PM UTC in The time has come to kill myself
Originally posted by inb4l0pht This post just makes me want to live on and fuck more children to spite moralfags like yourself.
fine, i know there's plenty of people around who'll be more than happy to do the job for you. and its really not about morals either, i really don't have many of them in most peoples opinion. its about the fact that children are completely defenceless against sick fucks like you, and so need to be protected from you.
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2017-08-13 at 10:50 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSafter all, it is very pretentious to consider yourself a 'high quality' person. especially when you are such a fucking freakfest like yourself malice.
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