This place reeks of boiled chicken and over-salted tomatoes. It was a dive alright, that was the point. HQ had sent me this on rush order. "5746 Main, we got two spots that wanna do a feature. Let us know what you find." Yeah i'll let you know you sons of bitches... I'll let you know exactly where the poison hits me.
The owner comes out covered in olive juice and pepper slime. I hide my disgust for him as best i can but fuck me if some of it doesn't slip through. "You must be..." He starts. "Guy Fieri" I finish his sentence. "Yeah Guy Fiere." no No NO NO. It' s GUY... FIERi. The man looks at me how i imagine Pancho's Pilot looked when Jesus told him He was the son of God. I can barely handle these idiots. It's all part of the job. "Look, let's get three things clear right off the bat." I say to the man. "One, i'm not your friend. You wanna talk to me? You wanna grovel at my feet? You wanna suckle at my teet? Fuck off, i'm here to do a fucking job and that's it. Two, i'm not gonna eat your shitty food. I'll put it in my mouth for the cameras but i will need a toilet at the ready to puke into as soon as we stop rolling. And three... Well three ain't non of your fucking business." There's that Pancho's Pilot look again. This dumb motherfucker is just asking to get his teeth kicked in. But he won't. Guy Fieri doesn't do that anymore.
The shoot comes and goes and i'm in my hotel room puking my brains out, trying to get rid of any trace of the horror show i had eaten four hours prior. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My fat, naked body covers the entire wall. I disgust myself. I can't even find my belly button in the sea of disgusting folds that make up the landscape of my terrifying, pudding-like exterior. I wasn't always this way... I used to be a God. I used to fuck like a lion. I used to catch prey at a thousand miles an hour. I used to control the fire in the skies. Guy Fieri, King of the Night. Guy Fieri, master of id. Now? Now i can't even get an erection without watching two hours of food porn first.
Next week on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Watch as Guy Fieri kills himself choking on a lamb shake that's been marinated in Nacho Cheese, watch, as no one cares. Guy Fieri king of nothing. Guy Fieri, master of shit.
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Originally posted by CASPER
I was gona ask you for the plug but thats far from my area of expertise.
My bro. You are a solid writer.
At the very least always be scanning writing job boards and maintain a blog page where you regularly update with content of whatever you want to write.
Trust me. Do it for at least a month of writing 3+ updates per day to showcase consistent output.
Then you can easily send this as a writing sample link and you will easily get the job if you spend 5 minutes proofreading each post, and your content is high quality with included links.
Eventually you'll find a good posting on a job board and ez win
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Originally posted by CASPER
âpretty soonâ is kinda relative. Was supposed to be done already, but unbeknownst to me, they froze my taper back in august. And now in order to keep capacity at a minimum, they extended complimentary 30days take homes to anyone with over 2 years clean UAs. So doctor told me i could either get my 30 days worth (i get 14 days worth before) at the same dose, or i could come in each day at my previous taper level. Im so fucking annoyed. Before it was 2mg every 2 weeks, and now its 2mg every 30. I want it done already.
I just canât imagine going through everything youâve been through with getting clean. I bet thereâs times youâve said, âaw fuck this, Iâm gonna get out of this pain and get me someâ. I know I would. But youâve managed to battle this demon. Youâve come so farđ§Ą
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I'm eating sunflower seeds and pepperoncinis listening to the rain and a podcast. I kinda want to go to the store and get some stuff but the weather is yucky at the moment. It sucks yesterday I went to hang a friend and drank with him and when I got back home later that evening I ordered from grub hub lubys liver and onions, brocoli, and macaroni and i kept text saying like oohh just few more minutes sorry about the delay and then some gont calls me and is like hey we can't bring your food they closed and were just stringing you along hoping it worked out sorry man.. and I was like well can you send me my money back? And the guy was ohhh yeaah you'll get your money back but since we already processed it you'll get it back in a week.. and I was like hey can you just bring it to me tomorrow? And he was no you'd reorder pay again because already canceled the order. Fucking weak sauce!
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U missed my point entirely & I apologise if I came off rude. I want to be quiet but I come across abrasive. Rest ur head love, I like you. I don't want u to have misguided emotions.
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The reason is so that they can riot in a pandemic. Imagine this thing doesn't blow over and the ones who stay inside and go outside diverge as a species, the Outsiders becoming grotesque corona monsters who wheeze their toxic lungs out everywhere and have begun to try to break into the homes of Insiders and kill them, who have become frail from lack of exercise but retained their resources, humanity and coordination.
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damn I didn't know he died. that lil gont went thru a lot. I met him a couple times because I worked downtown and would throw him a slice and he'd throw me a cig and talk about his movie. pretty upbeat guy for shooting himself in the eye.
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The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
