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Posts by CASPER
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2020-01-27 at 12:19 AM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)I used to think i had insomnia, but lately ive realized its a lot of subtle things im doing wrong. I dont know to be peaceful and relax. Im rarely truly calm. i always feel tight and in pain and uncomfortable. So either i was awake or completely comatose. I can be yawning,miserable, but ill choose to stay up until 5am watching a WWII documentary and then be pissed off and miserable when i have to be at work at 11. I guess ive always felt like night was “me time” and the only time i could get high and enjoy myself and not be botherred, so that way of thinking was sort of engrained. But now if i just lay down earlier and listen tostuff on my headphones, make a point to shut off all lights and other sounds, make sure my sheets are clean and not itchy, wash my face and oil my beard...i usuallyam able to get to sleep within an hour of me laying down.
So a lot of times its really subtle learned behaviors. It might be the same for you. -
2020-01-26 at 11:36 PM UTC in Kobe Bryant killed in helicopter crash
Originally posted by Technologist OMG, my son just played this for me. Listen closely. Big fuck up.
If you listen to the rest of the broadcast, she trips over a lot of her words like that. Its pretty apparent thats shes just not a sports person, and shes worried about pronouncing names right or saying the right teams. one bagillion percent she said “...mmmmmLakers” but didnt enunciate it well. Will probably still lose her job though because of angry black people. -
2020-01-26 at 11:24 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)Why would you want to kill yourself tho? You seem pretty happy with your life.
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2020-01-26 at 10:03 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
Originally posted by WE SMOOTH much lower stakes but i’m back in full stoner mode again and i feel like a fuckin loser.
its obv not the end of the world but if it makes you unhappy and you feel like youre not in control- thats a problem. Why do you think you “need” something to get through the day? Boredom, anxiety, etc? What does it do for you thats so great that it makes you deal with feeling like a loser? -
2020-01-26 at 9:59 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
Originally posted by Fox Wouldn’t be surprised if a riot breaks out
Seriously. To the “urban” community here, he was basically obama and black jesus rolled into one. Im not even a big sports dude but the lakers practiced where i used to play hockey, and Kobe was always a friendly, humble dude. Always took pics with anyone who asked. Just a kinda depressing reminder that you can do everything right and its still no guarantee. -
2020-01-26 at 9:38 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Damn LA is going to be all sad and fucked up today
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2020-01-26 at 11:05 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕postmates driver app froze for like 40 min and wouldnt let me complete the delivery, so i ragequit and kept the food and they deactivatedmy acct. lol.
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2020-01-26 at 11:04 AM UTC in All the DH girls are fatSEENT
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2020-01-26 at 6:22 AM UTC in All the DH girls are fatdte and billiam POWER COUPLE 2020
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2020-01-26 at 6:19 AM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
Originally posted by Sudo yesterday I had a phenomenal day all day, reconnected with someone, planned and plotted, had fun and aspired to do more. Only took percs until 5 oclock or so, then went to see my girlfriend knowing I was getting sick, did a lil bit and was still sick, tossed and turned all night, didn't want to break down and do drugs so I'd look over at her and think about her resigned sigh to me using drugs to fall asleep so I had a shit sleep and did half a pill the next morning when I went out to get her and the kid breakfast. Back in the cycle nahmean. Every day is another day to try to quit, just like smoking, just have to be ready
Its good that youre at leasttrying. You might want to take something a little longer acting though. Its a lot harder to retrain behaviors when your brain is prodding you every 6 hours to scratch an invisible itch. -
2020-01-26 at 5:54 AM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
Originally posted by AnomiesOffspring can i just pay you to live with me and beat the shit out of me when the time is right?
here's what i think i did right:
-deleted+blocked all connects
-got a second job walking dogs so i wouldn't be bored/would get at least some exercise
-picked up a few new hobbies/rehashed some old ones
-tried to make an actual irl friend. didnt work and was awkward but it felt good to try
first two weeks were surprisingly easy. midway through third week it was all i would think about when i wasn't preoccupied with something else.
all it took was a fucking pizza shop being late for me ask some homeless guy for some coke and here i am smoking crack 2 days later.
it's kind of ironic to prevent this behavior by forcing myself into healthy addictions to begin with
i need to re-think my next approach (and buy you a plane ticket)
I mean im not an expert. Im honestly aure why i havent gotten high. Bc theres still drugs and pills in jars and tins all over my room. it takes a lot of focus and visualization to realize that every time you get high isnt just a wasted day. Generally to get back on track, that day can mean months and years. And when it comes down to it, the things we crave from substances arent unique to drugs. Its just a quick and fast version of the pleasure and satisfaction and calm you get from having a life in order, balance, meaning, pride. If you had to experience the repercussions of that crack binge all at once, youd probablynever do it. But because the distance in relationships, the disappointment in yourself, the depressionm etc...all just slowly bob to the surface, we rarely feel what we’re actually doing to ourselves.
Your plans were good. But thats still just walls and no foundation. The foundation is not just being able to SAY why you are the way you are, but UNDERSTANDING it. If nothing else, i highly recommend answering the workbook questions and going over them with someone you trust. Im still not fully sold on NA as a whole, but the Step work is gold, Or at least for me it was. -
2020-01-26 at 5:39 AM UTC in All the DH girls are fat
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2020-01-26 at 3:18 AM UTC in All the DH girls are fat
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2020-01-26 at 3:15 AM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
Originally posted by AnomiesOffspring did you read the NA pdf? it helped a ton.
https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1brmUcLC9De4D2t0GOlOdA1slnThjOhUH
after three weeks clean, i realized i might need a new brain. this one's full of spooky ghosts with insatiable demands
You dont need a new brain you just need to stay focused and clean(ish) long enough to retrain new thought patterns and shine light on the spooky ghosts enough to see theyre just baby goats running around in pillowcases. -
2020-01-26 at 12:03 AM UTC in All the DH girls are fatShes still got a real pretty face. If i got her on meth we could make quite thePOWER COUPLE
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2020-01-26 at 12:01 AM UTC in What are you doing at the momentthis thread makes me want to design a Niggas in Space board game with various factions and alliances based on the gay alliances and factions that already exist. DtE, Candy and Netflix would be The Homegurlz, which is a smaller subsect of the larger group the Gynoids. Id prolly be a fringe member of the Scummybois, not to be confused with the Dandybois and the Poindexters....which are all subsidiaries of The Big Dick Trill Niggas.
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2020-01-25 at 8:16 PM UTC in Yo anyone here like thrice?
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2020-01-25 at 7:51 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..
