i feel like dogshit. Sponsor thinks its the methadone. I think im just a miserable fuck honestly. Found some dope and smelled the bag. Heated a bit on a knife so i could smell it. Like im okay most of the time but even as miserable as i was on H, there were moments where everything just kind if clicked. I felt not necessarily happiness but...idk....peace? I dont remember the last time i felt like that. My body fucking hurts. Forced myself to do a meeting thjs morning and one after work, but i really didnt get much out of it. Iwent for a walk even though my leg is fucking killing me, bc i watched a wes watson video this morning about not being a fucking bitch. But then i laughed thinking about spittingin his face and having his zen blissed out facade crumble bc everyone has a breaking point. A dude at work was talking a bunch if shit and i actually visualized how and where id need to let him hurt me before i could sink a box cutter into his stomach and do minimal jail time.
God im fucking tired.I think im going to quit the zoloft bc all it seems to do is make me shit my guts out for 3/4 of the day. And if i end up this mopey and fucked, why would i even put myself through that? Girl wanted togo out for Valentines day, but i just cant do it. Points to me though, my gut reaction was to start a fight so we wouldnt talk for a couple weeks,but i just told her i was sick.
i tried watching some movies about people with terminal illnesses finding meaning and acceptance and shit, and found myself theorizing about what the best terminal illness i should ask the universe for. I think i settled on gastric cancer. One of the cancer kids talked about making your own happiness so i smiled in the mirror for like 5 minutes and felt nothing just looked likea fat serial killer so i layed back down.
ugh. whatever. goodnight.
If the Chinese are so fucking inbred and retarded that they dont see how unregulated filthy markets with a bunch of bullshit wildlife is a perfect vector for evolving exotic diseases,they deserve GG. I mean these are the same stupid fucks who steal all their ideas and pay $25,000 for rhino boogers to cure their tiny flaccid cocks.
HOW EMBARASSING
I officially dont give a fuck about this anymore. i hope it becomes a pandemic so there will be some meaning and immediacy to my life.
Unthanked and thanked yet again for boat dick
i didnt receive it i think i was going to mail it. But i always had a few hundred grams of dope around at any given time so it was pretty easy to forget about a g or two. A few months ago i found 1.1 grams in the corner melted to the carpet, that had apparently shot off the rock and bounced off the wall.
burying my face in a bag of h i found in an old birthday card. i thought the smell would remind me of when i felt good, but its so old it doesnt even smell anymore.
shave a heart in ur chest hair
2020-02-14 at 3:28 PM UTC
in
Hey Warait
molestation /childhood trauma / bed wetter confirmed
2020-02-14 at 3:25 PM UTC
in
Pesky travels has herpes!
Its like shrek and fionas irl child
lol. no one gives a single fuuuuuuuuuuck. God if you need excitement that bad, starat dealing heroin in Poland or someshit. Your stories are gay. Ive taken more exciting dumps.
2020-02-14 at 3:21 PM UTC
in
Pesky travels has herpes!
That is a rough set of features. Just looking at her makes me self conscious. Annoying, square face, big brow, nub teeth. Christ. Genetics are kinda fucked. Bioshock when?
if you want the patties to stick together better, crack a couple of eggs, beat them and knead them into the meat
2020-02-13 at 5:45 PM UTC
in
Dear Wariat,
i must meditate on this composition. Unfortunately all of his faces in his pictures look identical bc hes abnormal as shit, so i might have to take the ipad to work to dothis freehand.
Also niw that i have an ipad, andyone wanna play scribbl.io again?
