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Posts That Were Thanked by Zanick
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2017-05-02 at 9:41 AM UTC in Just got out of the ERWhen I first set out I was actually on buying more alcohol and prolonging things, but somewhere along the path I was finally pushed over the edge.
What spurred me was the serious risk of epilepsy due to having been self-medicating alcohol anxiety that had become so severe I was drinking a liter of brandy and about 3 liters of wine a day. (IIIRC Debonaire_Death drank himself to the point where he developed cirrhosis and still has to spend a lot of time dealing with. Poor Guacamole, MisterY's partner and friend in Ceretropic, ended up dying because he mixed benzos and alcohol, and I wonder if the insomnia to that degree was from anxious he was, willing to risk death just to get some sleep, was he so tormented by his thoughts to the extent that they led to this. Essentially hitting rock bottom. I knew when I walked in I was going to tell them about my other severe issues.
Suicidal depression, hikikomori and going into detail, unmanaged symptoms of autism, various things that had happened in life, having been undiagnosed with a severe case of Asperger's at 19 (I fell through the cracks, it was glaringly apparent, but it didn't happen and I suppose looking at things from this perspective, the lashing out I engaged in was clearly because of it), and how that ended up being one of the most damaging things in my life, I never received anything for it even after the diagnosis, having had no friends in 14 years due to what's now practically PTSD, the poor family to the point where my neglectful parent only stayed together out of a sense of obligation, having been seriously considering divorce during at least on period, I pretty much lost my parents when I was 13 and literally don't have any family at this point that I can fall back on, explaining how severe my depression and anxiety had essentially gotten to the point where I was just locked, the final days were just being spent in bed doing absolutely nothing etc
It was actually what I needed, and I wasn't involuntarily committed or in a psychward, although I did state that I would have been okay with hospitalization. A guard did have to be in sight of me, but that merely entails them being in line site sitting casually, usually just playing on their phone, doing paperwork. They gave me Ativan and phenobarbital via IV along with bags of saline for hydration, and was hooked to an ECG as well.
It reminds of the anime Welcome to the NHK. Once you actually break out it's so obvious that everything was in your head, and now you're completely alone in the world and will have to grapple with these issues for the rest of your life.
Oh god, my life is so fucking sad. I just want to go to bed to continue breaking down crying and I don't even have a cat to give me some semblance of company. For about the past three years the only person who's pretty much ever contacted my had been my landlord, I've literally never spoken to anyone so I sure as hell don't have anyone now.
At least things may finally be changing. Unfortunately I had to hit rock bottom and will have to rebuild my and my life from such a fucked position to be in.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-05-02T09:43:57.899087+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-04-21 at 9:40 PM UTC in What kind of coffee do you guys drink?
Originally posted by Zanick I know it's sort of gay but it's also a terrific hobby. And, if I play my cards right, I might just make good money selling my coffee to restaurants and coffee shops.
Hey man if you can do it then more power to you. I love you and support you 100% in all your endeavours because you're a fine young man with a great work ethic. Let me know if you need an investor.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-04-21 at 8:49 PM UTC in What kind of coffee do you guys drink?
Originally posted by Bill Krozby im sure he doesn't but this was a simple thread about what coffee people drink while i woke up and make a thread while drinking coffee.. and people are making such an argument over it..
and for zanick it could be hobby and business.. but you and captain cornhole will just shit on it and say how they can't do it.
I like Zanick and I'm sure he can accomplish whatever he puts his mind to. I was only asking because I'm genuinely curious. But you on the other hand can go fuck yourself though because I hate you.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-04-20 at 5:03 AM UTC in Do you feel that psych drugs are harmful?anything's harmful if it's misused, and many psychiatric drugs are overprescribed. SSRIs are prescribed for just about everything lately and (this is not specific to psychiatric drugs) people are more and more demanding treatment for improperly-diagnosed ailments... Demanding ADD/ADHD treatment for kids that misbehave, antibiotics for virtually any perceived sickness, psychiatric drugs for people who self-diagnose (and further research their 'disorder' so they know exactly what to say to a doctor for a positive result) and that's not even considering drug-seekers after benzos and opioids.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-15 at 4:14 AM UTC in I'm drunk but I made you guys somethingI call it the school of niggas
Post last edited by Lanny at 2017-04-15T04:26:23.383160+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-01-28 at 12:01 PM UTC in i really like this girl
Refer to this anytime you have such thoughts
Come on man, you've done this shit before.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2016-12-18 at 1:54 AM UTC in Anybody do work in research?As usual malice goes and makes things oh so dramatic but there is a kernel of truth there.
I did some research with biomedical imaging and mesh construction when I was an undergrad, I've been considering grad school because research was very rewarding work on a personal level. I wasn't really "keeping up" with research in the field, I was more trying to survey the field and look for prior work on the subject I was looking at, so trawling through JSTOR and back issues of ACM/IEEE. I probably skimmed a hundred plus papers over a semester although there ended up being like 5 or 6 that I really needed and dug into in depth.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2016-12-15 at 5:19 AM UTC in Being halfway in acid is annoying.Take a fat hit. I don't really like smoking on acid but if you undershot a nice weed high can kick it up to where it needs to be.
Fun fact: first truly bad trip I ever had was after taking a hit after not quite enough acid and reading a giant wall of text hydro wrote about being a junkie and having a kid and just her general state of life and like I just totally fixated on the idea of addiction and the inescapable trap it represents.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2016-03-19 at 9:18 PM UTC in Do you think there will ever be self driving cars?I think it will happen and it'll be a good thing. Not because I have any particular faith in tech companies or regulatory authorities but because it's a convenient thing that will make an incremental improvement in the lives of first world citizens i.e. it's the type of technology who people who are involved in making technology actually give a shit about.
When I was in school I took an ethics in sci/tech course and one of the hypotheticals that came up was this: you're in a self driving car going over a bridge. A school bus in front of you full of children hits the breaks, your car has this information and also knows it can't stop in time to avoid the bus. The car has a "choice" to hit the bus likely killing all the kids but deploying airbags and saving your probably or swerving off the bridge almost certainly killing you but keeping the expected death toll low (one person vs. the majority of a full bus). What is joe programmer writing implementing the car's logic supposed to do? I thought the answer was pretty obvious, responsibility to minimize loss of human life far exceeds a company's duty to its customers. It seems pretty uncontroversial that a pharmaceutical company manufacturing like thalidomide for example, knowing the risks and marketing it to pregnant women, is doing something wrong even if its customers understand the consequences. Likewise we shouldn't sell people cars that are going to increase the total deathtoll just to soothe their anxieties (indeed it would even, in aggregate, put such customers at greater risk since they're more likely to be on the other side of that kind of dichotomy). It was surprising how mixed reactions to that case are, a lot of people really believe that there's something wrong with a car that might sacrifice its driver for the greater good.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
