I am tired of the people in my life everybody from my friends to my enemies they're all blending together and I stare at the wall all day long until I start to see shapes and sizes and colors trip out basically I've recently quit drugs which has in turn actually made my life worse as I now suffer from crippling depression I live with a roommate a family member I feel as though it will be better not to show emotion around anyone I have cut all of my medication from depression to bipolar to anxiety I have stopped going to my therapist counselor and psychiatrist I try to shove all bit of emotion down i have no job and can't get one I am stuck with what feels like a war inside my head one part of me feels like hating everything and everyone and the other part feels like going in a corner and crying it is also not helping as each day I feel disconnected and dissociated from everyone even myself
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Originally posted by Kafka
I’ve seen some things on Fetlife, like knifeplay, people being cut with razor blades and hit with hammers to cause bruising. What I don’t get is how is that not self harm? Like yeah you get someone else to do it to you but it’s still self harm?
I don't understand how people associate it with sex
last time I went hard on benzos and opiates I tried to see how much blood I could collect before I saw the edge coming at me, and that was a fucking disaster
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I dreamt I was in Saudi arabia, apparently in some kind of amphitheater where a group of inmates, most of which I knew came out and requested people they don't like come forward, spearheaded by someone I know who has been incarcerated for a while. Just a ton of high profile inmates, mostly ones involved in an attack on another inmate. I made eye contact with the leader but didn't know how to help them, I was next to some native Saudis and we started to pray, they were critical of my technique and it made me angry.
There's a scene missing in my memory,then I'm in a big harem looking room with a stripper I haven't seen for a decade but apparently didn't age. She's lying down and naked and we came up with some sort of plan. She asks me for coke and I tell her I dont have any as I just got off a plane to Saudi fucking Arabia. She is disappointed and implies she doesn't believe me and our plan is abandoned (I think it had to do with kidnapping). Other things are kinda fuzzy
So what the fuck? Is it a dichotomy between my worlds?
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turns out the whole 'necklacing' thing originated in Africa, where they throw a tyre full of petrol around your neck and light it
only traditionally, they don't light it. they leave the lighter within arm's reach, then stab you and hit you with hammers and shit until you light yourself up
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Originally posted by Meikai
like zoomies and MOON PERSONs have access to so many sub-cultures which serve as massive time sinks
do boomies have something similar?
Yelling about how MOON PERSONs are all lazy entitled pieces of shit that need to pull up their boot straps and buy a house and pay for their $100 education making minimum wage. Save your nickels. Shop on the outside aisles and make a meal that costs only 3 cents per serving
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Originally posted by Kafka
The ending of Snuff was unexpected.
It seems like snuff was designed to open up as many possible crazy scenarios as possible then build towards an unlikely one that was less fantastical but much better than any of the others and pretty sympathetic and truthful. I didn't really get the Semitic subtext at the time but I bet if I re read it I'd find alot of it
I remember when the kid who thought he was her son came up, I didn't believe hee when she said she wasn't his mom...and then he basically raped her, that was pretty balsy writing. That whole book seemed like it could have been from Garth Ennis' "preacher" (and a storyline from it has many similarities)
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I'll post dream 2 tomorrow, it's late as hell and I need to get to sleep. So here's a bonus, one of the dream fragments.
I was in class in a dream high school. Ronald McDonald was in the class. I saw him playing on a fancy new phone, and he finished and put it away in his clown pocket. I thought to myself "I'm gonna steal his phone." I went over to the teacher and I was like "Ma'am, I need your help, I had my phone out and Ronald McDonald came over and stole it from me!" She was like "Oh really?" She walked over to Ronald and I followed her. She asked him if he had stolen my phone and he denied it. I professed "He took it and put it in that pocket right there" *points to pocket* The teacher was something like "What's in that pocket? Show me!" Ronald McDonald pulled out the phone. "Give it back to him, NOW!" He handed me his own phone and I put it in my pocket and walked away with it now in my possession, thanks to the teacher. The rest of the dream was just your typical "lost in school" bullshit. The bell rang for class change and I wandered around like a fucking moron with no clue where I was going.
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Grylls
Cum Looking Faggot
[abrade this vocal tread-softly]
Originally posted by Bradley
that tv looks like it came from a charity shop as well
that was my first option I was looking for a decent one in few different charity shops as I’m on a budget now but they only had like 19” so I had to get this from Costco with a 5 year warranty
I did pick up a couple books for 50p each though, ironically this one
There’s loads of quality stuff in secondhand shops in this area I moved to, absolutely love it 🥹
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