2022-12-26 at 10:48 PM UTC
in
Bradley's Fetlife
He’ll find out how cold-blooded I am sooner or later. His only escape now is death.
I've blocked most memories of high school but remember the first assembly they told us Santa wasn't real. When we were 12, in science class they made us watch a video of a woman giving birth. That was the only sex education we had. Apart from making us sit in the assembly hall all day, I mean all day, telling us abortion was wrong. It was brainwashing. I remember being called to the principal's office because there was a rumour I was a lesbian. The boys would play gaelic football and break and lunchtime but the girl's skirts were actually too tight to even run in, and the vice principal wanted to introduce pencil skirts for us. I didn't wear makeup and remember in 6th form a makeup artist came in to show the girls how to do their makeup right, when she asked for a volunteer people looked at me. On the first day of 6th form during the induction assembly I fainted twice in front of everyone and fell on an old lady. I remember the bus home would be a cloud of cigarette smoke with the chavs at the back, one guy waving a lighter in my face and a girl hit my head. Off the bus the chavs chasing on and we got in a stranger's car.
Something I'll never forget is my Irish teacher catching me smoking, she caught me climbing back in the window. That was at the Gaeltacht though, lots of memories there I won't get into.
Later reading Survivor it said they controlled the cult members by making them watch women giving birth, so they would associate sex with pain.
All you do is cry and complain
I wonder what person I would be if I didn’t have sensory issues. I love dressing up but at home always wear grey sweatshirts because it’s comforting and have been wearing the same sweatshirt for eight years.
Wondering if I want blue eyes. Sometimes in photos they look blue grey which I dislike but my dad had them and maybe a darker blue would suit me. Some days they look more amber so I want contacts to make them amber all the time.
Can you tell I’m drunk if I didn’t say I was? I’ve had at least 10 units in the past two hours.
I’m only heavy drinking because I’ve had no cigarettes today and the shop doesn’t open for another seven hours, I’m going to crack.
Remembering my dad tucking me into bed this night idk how many years ago and telling me to wish for something. I wanted this Harry Potter book of spells thing but kept it to myself and ig that’s why I never got it. They sell them on EBay now.
