2024-02-07 at 9:42 PM UTC
in
Animus possession
I don't know if having a balanced psyche would even be ideal now. Not in this world. I'm not going to try and find that balance, not when it's a man's theory and men are known liars. I'll definitely consider it making me compare men to the perfect one in my head as a negative. Two people in a relationship really being four people is something to think about in future as well, that I'll have to find someone who loves both people if they exist.
2024-02-07 at 9:07 PM UTC
in
Animus possession
It's that I'm possessed by it. Some things Jung said ring true like it appearing in dreams as a helper and that it makes me hate men. I don't fit the female stereotype and know that some things wake up my aggression instantly like misogyny and that does feel like being possessed. I liked dating a girl because then it felt safe to wear kawaii things. When around men I feel like I have to dress more intimidating.
I don't see anything wrong with the way I am but if it's true that my psych is unbalanced and I've now suppressed feminine traits then I may not be viewing the world with an accurate lens.
Just realised it's 8pm and I have no food in the house ugh. I don't feel well today.
I'm curious tbh because it's always felt like the universe won't let me die or I'm surrounded by guardian angels. That nothing really bad has ever happened to me despite the low EQ and close calls. I feel like it should be him that dies because he killed all those snails and I'm a better person in general. I wonder if the universe does favour people.
I have a migraine, waiting on pizza, trapped by Akira, overwhelmed, wish I could be productive.
I wouldn't be up for it if I didn't think I had a good chance of winning. Anyway dying on the battlefield defending my honour isn't such a bad way to go. One day I will stab him and I'd rather it be sooner.
I'm thinking about my strength because I don't know exactly how much I have. There's hysterical strength and drunk strength. In fights I always felt like I was holding back so maybe there's mental blocks affecting it. I remember I flung a 20kg into the back of a car and the driver said I was strong, idk if he was accurate.
I always got medals for speed jumping so am trying to wrap my head round this now:
"Explosive strength relies on starting strength, which is the ability to "turn on" as much force as possible in the first .03 seconds of movement.
In order to develop maximal force in minimal time you obviously must have enough raw force or strength to draw from or to tap into quickly. This is why limit strength serves as the foundation for explosive strength. A rocket capable of 100 pounds of force isn't going anywhere!"
Women are faster than men and I always got medals for speed jumping on sports days so it could be fair.
It's up to the universe to decide who lives or dies.
It's sword-fighting. I just checked and Sophie claims he has a katana. I think this is the proper way to end things. It's also unlikely there'll be another chance in life to have a real sword-fight.
I can't tell if this is BS or not. I think it's wrong to label specific traits as masculine or feminine. I don't recall ever trying to suppress feminine traits and am not even sure what they are but I think society has tried to suppress this supposed animus.
"When a woman disregards or suppresses her own masculine qualities, she becomes vulnerable to animus possession.
Animus possession occurs when these suppressed masculine aspects take control, leading to behavioral shifts.
Here are some transformations that may occur during animus possession:
Assertiveness can turn into aggression.
Analytical thought processes may become argumentativeness1.
Why Does Animus Possession Happen?:
Stress, trauma, or a lack of integration of the animus into conscious awareness can trigger animus possession.
Cultural and social factors, such as gender roles and expectations, also play a role in shaping how a woman relates to her inner animus2."
I still don't get how using force works. When I got in fights I always felt like something was holding me back from using my full strength, idk what, then there's hysterical strength.
