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Posts by Lanny
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2016-01-20 at 10:31 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Have you ever, while looking at porn, masturbating, thinking about sex, attempting to attain it (general process involved), or even while engaging in it thought, "This is really stupid. This is the basis of so much of what drives us. Tab A going into slot B. Sperm and egg, genes, traits, heritability, separateness and competition, the gene centric view of evolution.
Pseudo-profound. There's nothing particularly deep, insightful, or novel about any of this, it's been repeated countless times, who knows how far back the first recording occurred. When you're happy you normally don't think about why you're happy, what anything amounts to, the futility, illusion of control etc. I wonder if there's ever been a truly, joyously happy and fulfilled person, devoid of mental illness (Difficult to quantify. Could you commit what I'm suggesting without being mentally ill?), who decided to commit suicide based on pure reason. "I don't want to play this game anymore."
You post at PoC about "before you off yourself you should try MYSTERY_DRUG_OF_THE_WEEK" incessantly, so I feel no guilt in demanding that you, at some point before you die/get yourself committed, read and earnestly try to understand the work of Camus. The Stranger (like an 80 page novella, you can read it in a day), The Myth of Sisyphus (an essay, like a 20 minute read), and some accompaniment resource (textbook, cliffnotes, SEP (the good choice), or even wikipedia) should cover it. This is like a weekend project, maybe less with your autism powers.
Like 90% of what you post in your depressive rants are exactly the problems Camus grappled with. He was a really interesting dude. What we remember about him most is early death, womanizing, and shitflinging with Sarte but he was a really interesting character in a very different way. While we imagine him to be the embodiment of vivacious living, he wasn't just born with an urge to live life to the fullest. His most famous quote is "There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide" which opens The Myth of Sisyphus. Everything we know about the man suggests he really would have killed himself if, at the end of his philosophical inquiry, he hadn't found any compelling reason to live. If denial of the survival instinct isn't systemization then I don't know what is. Camus was a rational thinker first, and a lover of life second. And yet he seemed genuinely on top of life. He proposes a means by which we can view the world simultaneously honestly (i.e. tremendously wrong in so many ways) and worthwhile (worthy of our attentions, capable of satisfying us on the deepest most meaningful levels). If you don't think that's possible (the gist of pretty much every post you've made) then that's fine but you should actually read the nigger before dismissing the notion. If you're half as much of a robot as you say you are you should have the good sense to do at least that much. -
2016-01-20 at 10:10 AM UTC in Sorry if anyone needed me...
But… you… you… were a woman…
*does not compute*
*smell of wood burning*
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lesbianism -
2016-01-20 at 5:30 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionBeing gay would be pretty cool. Getting laid would be a lot easier at least.
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2016-01-20 at 5:21 AM UTC in stimulant bath sawltsMPA is kinda shitty but cheap and easy to find. There may still be some 2-FMA or 4-FMA floating around these days but it's going quick since the ban.
2-FMA was good shit though, I miss the days not so long ago that it was plentiful and cheap. Did some of my best work with that shit.
Feels like all the RCs you can get pretty much suck these days. Guess it's time to either go darkweb shopping or find a pill mill. -
2016-01-20 at 4:54 AM UTC in Sorry if anyone needed me...
PieGirl invoked me.
PieGirl invokes muh dick -
2016-01-20 at 4:45 AM UTC in I am the last PosterI'm winning at this thread right now
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2016-01-18 at 9:44 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionAlso I think the "Schopenhauer as buddhist" angle is a little overplayed and to some degree does him a disservice by downplaying the novelty of his ideas at the time.
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2016-01-18 at 9:43 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionI disagree with Schopenhauer on a number but things but I still think he was a good philosopher (most philosophers disagree with Aristotle about a most things but he's still regarded as foundational to the field). I'm hard pressed to give the same charity to Nietzsche. Perhaps the most irking thing about him is that every assay he makes into a narrative form (ala Thus Spoke Zarathustra) one falls under the immediate impression that one is reading thinly veiled author insertion fanfic. The man was basically the Ayn Rand of his time.
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2016-01-18 at 7:22 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2016-01-18 at 7:01 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionNietzsche was the human embodiment of unresolved teenaged angst.
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2016-01-18 at 12:49 AM UTC in TRT - New Topicskek, well that energy manipulation can't be that good, should be fixed. TRT is showing up in new topics for me now, if it's not for anyone else let me know..
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2016-01-17 at 9:45 PM UTC in TRT - New TopicsYeah, it bugs the shit out of me too, I have no idea why it happens either. Taking a look into it.
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2016-01-17 at 9:38 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
What if it can be argued that wireheading is not only an ideal state for man to reach, but that it is immoral not to become a wirehead?
It seems that in the absence of some (bullshit) moral objection this is a really trivial conclusion.Man cannot live by reason alone. Many of our biological inclinations compel us to perform actions, some required to maintain a certain level of functioning, of optimal mental and physical health even if you wish to devote yourself to altruistic ends, that can be considered immoral, at least by the opportunity cost argument.
Think about that for a second and you'll realize why it doesn't work.For the opportunity cost argument, our natural inclinations lead us to pursue acts for our own utility, but are generally far from being optimal for the overall well being of others. The argument from hypocrisy against the left/utilitarian thought, think of what could be done if the money used for even one small act of daily life, purchasing a coffee, was spent elsewhere.
It's true many of our creature comforts really are suboptimal expense of resources but not all. Our psychological well being depends on some level of comfort, sometimes we have to reduce net utility (spending money on things that make your life pleasant enough to continue good work) in the short term for a win in the long term. Like if a doctor stumbles into a field hospital it would seem only reasonable to give him special attention, even at the cost of multiple other lives, if we would expect at the end of time for a net greater number of people to receive treatment my merit of their being one more doctor on staff thereafter.
Or your career, you love it, you're inclined to it and the joy/satisfaction you derive from it allows you to exert yourself to your fullest realistic potential, but in terms of utilitarianism, even with problems inherent to calculation, you could easily see alternatives you could devote yourself to that would be much more effective for increasing the utility of others (effective charity work).
I don't think that's true. I'm pretty good at my job, programmers get pretty good incomes, among the jobs that would likely pay better there are few, I think none, I could do better at (that is, earn more money long term). There are people who do this, they become wallstreet traders with the intention of raking in big bucks and giving as much of it away as they can, which is admirable, it's just I'm never going to make it as an investment trader.Also related to a thought I had next: Once Lanny's father dies take the opportunity to offer to IV heroin with them. The easing of the pain could provide a rife opportunity for addiction, knocking down that pretentious twat, unremarkable in his region when compared to the multitudes of others in his field and with various personal deficits, to my level, forcing him to be my friend IRL, if only for the access to heroin.
I'll never say no to opiates but I think you underestimate my ability to dodge addiction, or at least keep it in check, cut back as necessary. I reckon I could keep a pretty normal lifestyle with a moderate opiate dependency although I wouldn't want to. The whole alcoholism thing has been going pretty well so far. It gives me a special kind of joy to stumble into work drunk or hungover and have people tell me what a great job I'm doing. Receiving accolades while basically sleeping through the ole dayjob.Only a true friend would take advantage of your father's impending death in order to evoke an addiction to opioids in you so that you become dependent, your level of success and functioning is diminished to the point where you no longer feel superior, and you're mine. That's how much I want (to be) you(r friend), Lanny.
Aww, that's sweet. Don't know why you think I feel superior though. I'd offer to hang out some time but I think we both know that couldn't work. -
2016-01-17 at 8:47 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
What do you plan to do when the time comes? I'm genuinely curious about how you plan to cope with it.
I'll do it if I have to (cut off life support or submit a DNR or whatever else is appropriate). My grandma kinda pulled a fast one on me, seems like she represented herself as someone else so that I'm now the person with power of attorney. But I get it, losing your kid is a lot worse than losing a parent, we all have at least some psychological preparation for the latter. Her essentially killing her own son would be something unreasonable to ask of her, so I guess that mean's it's on me. It sucks but that's what it's come to. My current plan is to drink/smoke/sedate away my sorrows for a while to limp though the next few weeks and deal with my own feelings after going through the agonizing social ritual that is someone dying. It's depressing, what really fucks me up is thinking about what I would say at a funeral or dealing with interacting with my family. Jesus, loss is loss and you'd think that'd be enough but for some reason I have to go through this whole process, a public display of grief, when all I want to do is curl up and forget. This shit wouldn't be fast as hard if I didn't feel like my every reaction was being judged for sincerity.
Along with feeling betrayed/abandoned by my best friend since 3rd grade (Our meeting was perfect, he passed my a note with three questions designed to test my knowledge/intelligence. He was more well rounded, a typical gifted person, I was more aloof and may have had higher raw potential, but was very much autistic. Only person I really talked to significantly until some time late in 7th.
Have I ever posted about my friend Seth? Well former friend I guess, we went to high school together. He was pretty clearly autistic in some sense, tremendously poor skills for reading situations or maybe more accurately he didn't seem to care or realize the importance of not being "weird". We hung out a lot, for a while he was probably the only person I talked to on a regular basis, my only real friend for a while. We used to sit together at lunch and bullshit about whatever, both budding pseudo-intellectuals so a lot of talking about books we didn't really understand. Played cards a lot. There were two incidents I had with good ole Seth. One was when we were talking to some classmates, a couple of girls, I think they asked if we were friends after noticing we always ate lunch together. I opened my mouth to respond but he jumped in with something like "I'm careful about who I call my friend, wouldn't want to embarass someone", knowing he was a social pariah. I should have jumped in and been like "fuck yes we're friends, only damn friend I have" but I just stayed quiet, didn't want to be seen as more of an outcast for being friends with the weird kid. Then another time where he was climbing a tree at school and a bunch of students were egging him on, kinda making fun of him, and I joined in. I should have told him to get down since he was embarrassing himself, everyone was laughing at him spastically climbing a tree, but I didn't, I told him to keep climbing. Those two things kill me, there's nothing I feel more guilt over than that. He was a total bro, always there for me, and twice I stubbed him to try and seem "cooler" to a bunch of fucking 15 year old shits. God I hate myself for that.Do you have people specifically in mind to go to for emotional support, to discuss what you're feeling/experiencing? Are you open to grief counseling? I don't know what kind of person you are IRL, but I hope you're not planning to bottle it up and deal with it yourself, particularly considering how the affair has effected you, bothered you more than you may have expected.
I mean I have people I could "go to for emotional support" I suppose but I won't. I can deal with being sad, but the performance of sadness kills me. Like when my dad first ended up in the hospital I flew down to see him, came back and most the people I worked with asked where I had been the last few days. Explaining that to people, seeing their reactions, pity I guess? Made me want to curl up and die. I'd rather pretend everything is alright until it is.Caution with psychedelics is particularly important to take, I know from firsthand experience. "Non-specific general amplifiers." Even some time afterward, if it's still unresolved, or if you're repressing some things, it can bring them to the surface and you'll be confronted with them at great intensity. Aborting the trip isn't a perfected solution, and may make things worse if you do so while leaving the issue unresolved, rather than working through it.
Yeah, that's something I've been thinking about. I mean it's a double edged sword right? I mean there's a lot of potential for coming to terms, confronting something terrible and accepting it. But conversely I know how it can becomes a downward spiral, recurring negative obsession. I'm not going to be tripping in the near future, mostly because I'm expecting that final call any minute now and being in the middle of a trip when that happens would go south fast.Grief is normal, though, but if it happens to you, you know I'd always love to have someone to discuss depressing matters with, I've dwelled in this for a longer period and to a deeper extent than nearly anyone you'll likely find. I'm the kind of person that wouldn't feel uncomfortable with seeing you cry, or have my view of you negatively impacted. I'd join in with you. We could even watch Anohana together, possibly amplified by empathogens.
Aww, that's sweet. Did I mention I watched Anohana? It was good, although I don't think I was a moved by it as you were. Last two episodes in particular came off a little melodramatic but it was well composed, had a nice atmosphere and complementary art style.Lanny, do you ever deeply ruminate on the mismatch between biological reality and the ideal, the flaws of human existence, the ugly reality of human nature?
Oh sure, although I'm an optimist in the large. It's true we're deeply defective, all of us just by merit of being human, but I still think there's a way out. The "ugliness of human nature" has become progressively less ugly with each passing era, things are getting better on the whole. There was a time when we were so limited that we couldn't keep records beyond our own memories, our intellect was entirely constrained to our deeply flawed biological processes of memory but then things got better, we became super-human with literacy, language, information could be externalized. And from the rise of literacy to now we've become more and more apt at overcoming our biological limitations. We can still rectify our failings, given enough time, and of all the worlds we could imagine ourselves in the one where there seems to be a viable path to making ourselves better, overcoming the limitations of the flesh, that seems like a pretty good world on the whole.As a universalist/utilitarian, though, you should consider whether you have a duty to ponder the problems of human existence so as to better be able to understand and possibly help attenuate them. It helps greatly with understanding the world, the fundamentals of human existence, and predicting outcomes.
I'm not a UU, although my parents were/are (the "inherent worth of every person" generally seems to tie ones hands in addressing "evil" or sources of disproportionate disutility). Certainly I think we all have a duty to ponder the problems of our existence, of our world, and to remedy them as we can. But I think we can honestly confront the issues that plague us without giving into defeatism or melancholy.I'm certainly not assuming you're oblivious to the subject and have done no significant reading. One example I would highly recommend starting with is the book Is There Anything Good About Men, to develop a basis for understanding the line of thought that could lead to my current state.
You've watched waking life of course. This scene, https://vimeo.com/35992277I've read the post-modernists with some interest, even admiration. But when I read them I always have this awful nagging feeling that something absolutely essential is getting left out. The more you talk about someone as a social construction or as a confluence of forces or as fragmented, or marginalized, what you do is open up a whole new world of excuses. And when Sarte talks about responsibility, he's not talking about something abstract… it's something very concrete, it's your and me talking, making decisions, doing things, and accepting the consequences
always put the point well I think. And Baumeister seems guilty of this as much as the third wave feminism he's taken as a reaction to. Like isn't "my people have been exploited so I'm going to go be useless" the ultimate abdication of responsibility? -
2016-01-17 at 7:14 AM UTC in Visitor MessagesWell this thread got weird.
Anyway, visitor messages are one of the few things that do work. If visitor messages are blank they were probably either made that way or got deleted after they were made. Can you link to an example of this happening? -
2016-01-16 at 5:31 AM UTC in dear SS.'scribing
P.S. PMs are fucked -
2016-01-16 at 5:10 AM UTC in Why online dating can suck
I met a nice 23 year old girl a few years ago on MeetMe. We were both skeptical of having one another over to our respective homes so we decided to meet on a street corner roughly halfway between our places. It was the middle of winter so we were all bundled up, and we stood on the corner chatting for a few hours, in the middle of the night. Eventually we went our separate ways and got in touch the following evening. I went to her place and we hung out in her room because it was late and she had roommates that were sleeping. We watched some TV and talked about life. Then, I kissed her, and we partook in some heavy petting. After our petting session I fell asleep and we slept in until the afternoon the next day until I had to go to work. I had walked to her place so I had to walk home and then go to work. I was a little bit behind schedule so I had to basically run home, which was roughly a mile and half from her place. As I started running I was overcome with an overwhelming urge to take a dumpling, so I had to slow down and do that awkward walk for a while, which was making me more behind schedule and likely late for work, so I just decided to shit my pants since I was close to home and likely wouldn't have to deal with anyone who would notice anyway. I ended up being late for work but only by a few minutes. I talked to the girl a few more times but we never met up again, and then we never talked again. I'll never forget the little scraps of shit that fell out of my pants as I ran along the path toward my house. The end.
I want to believe this. I want to believe in quasi-love. I just can't. tfw. -
2016-01-16 at 5:05 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Then something about DMT and wanting, what I felt I really wanted, was to experience transcendence. To go beyond myself, the limitations of myself and the ego, my life history, even this world, ordinary reality, other people, society, and all the problems in it; to experience something beyond that. Questioning whether I was really in an optimal state for that, what if I was confronted by something I couldn't handle, wasn't ready for, having no one for emotional support, to speak to about it. Also an idea for a new build to use DMT with, something based on something McKenna had mentioned in a talk. It had a forked end to go into your nostrils and a friend on the other end would blow into a tube to force the smoke into you, combining the benefits of vaporization with some intranasal absorption via the sinus cavity. My idea is to combine it with a build based on this: https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me/The_Machine
The center chamber having (stainless) steel wool inside that would rapidly heat up and have a very large surface area, very rapidly vaporizing all the DMT, which would be dropped in from a hole above, which you would plug/cover. Instead of a friend you simply have a "third lung" device, just something to hold air in, the oven bag end of my heat gun vaporizer setup would work, that you could then squeeze. On the other end the forked tubes, and you could add some silicone for a snugger fit to your nostrils. The entire thing could also be suspended using a simple setup, PVC pipes and something to hang it from, along with a weight that would pull back from the end away from you, so that if you broke through you wouldn't need to worry about setting it down, just letting go would pull it away from you and out of the opening of your nostrils.
I guess there's something technically interesting in there (in a crude mechanical way) but man, a transcendent experience and this rube goldberg contraption seen leagues apart. -
2016-01-15 at 8:30 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionMy grandma just asked me to submit a DNR notice for my dad, so that's fun
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2016-01-15 at 6:27 PM UTC in Hard work or Smart work - Which is important?
Bumping with The Abolishment of Work ;) http://deoxy.org/endwork.htm
It sounds like something a baby boomer father would their children. Is your work actually getting you closer to your goal?
Reads a bit like a nuttier version Russell's In Praise of Idleness, which is something I've probably spammed here a couple of times but I think is a really common sense, simple essay on something that's surprisingly controversial.
