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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2016-07-01 at 1:44 AM UTCSo the video starts and there's that nigger telling me to go real hard on my dick when I jack off to this.
What is this gay shit? Fuck you. -
2016-07-02 at 10:52 AM UTCMalice, I sent you an email and I would appreciate it if you would get back to me (and at least for a while, until shit settles down, not post on here about what I emailed you about-but really doesn't matter, but everyone has me super paranoid). Nobody, not even the people around me, believe wtf is going on. I am a magnet for fucked shit happening. I really, really need a friend through this shit (or a autist to advise me without bias atleast)- I am on the cusp of just losing it completely- I can't even just fucking die properly.
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2016-07-02 at 11:17 AM UTC
How do you quote two posts at once for fucks sake. This site is driving me nuts.
You're on a phone aren't you.The ultimate goal being Nirvana, liberation from the cycle of death and rebirth and cessation of all desire.
The blob can't die and it has no senses or desire, it just consumes. The Blob is Nirvana.
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2016-07-02 at 2:52 PM UTCDoes anybody keep their cigarettes in the fridge?
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2016-07-02 at 8:15 PM UTC
A dying breed by default. A truly cruel irony to possess a functioning brain and a penis at the same time.
I've always felt like there was more hate coming from women towards men than vice versa. I don't know a single woman who has not ranted on men like there was no tomorrow and everyone's ok with it for some reason. Probably because we are used to the bitching and don't hold the opinion of women in high regards anyway. When a man opens his mouth, though oh ho ho…. they all turn into finger wagging Shaneeq ratchets or the bitch from that "We can do it!" poster. Awful.
Read some of the writings of the great philosophers, even as far back as the Greek era. It's amazing how apt their views are either today.
Of course people will use the, "It was a product of the time. Everyone was sexist. Women were oppressed."
These were the wisest and knowledgeable men of their times, men who challenged convictions as ingrained, as taboo, as religion, god, systems like capitalism, the states/rulers they lived under, the fundamentals of logic, reason, and morality, who were willing to be suffer, be punished. exiled, drive themselves to and past the brink of madness in pursuit of truth, drive themselves to misery from seeing the world as it truly was rather than deluding themselves that it was or one day would be (such as the Marxists who believed we were always on the brink of revolution and the creation of a new man, which reminds me of the fairly large Christian sects that have regularly popped up and believed resurrection and judgment were coming.), who were willing to accept that there was no hope, any meaning in life, any meaning behind anything and that all was ultimately futile; some who made the apogee of sacrifice and chose to die for their beliefs. Is it really the case that they were so foolish as to overlook such obvious factors and possibilities, or is it, that without the immense societal taboos that have arisen relatively very recently in human history:
Even Slavoj, that damn Marxist, realized the massive impact and danger of the latter:
Is that that the case, or is it that without the veritable culminations of the distortions of the mind and implementations of thought crime, without the taboos, they were able to see the root of the the nature of women with clarity, as it truly was?Is there a way to set this so it stops sending me black people.
You probably could develop a modification fairly simply. Given the consistency of the composure of the pictures, it would mainly require deciding upon a color range and position. I've never been a coder, so this would is just crude idea, I don't know how to implement it or what problems may arise.. It's unlikely that blacks would take selfies against black backgrounds the equivalent, but even then based on the size of a divergent area within a natural human skin range, position on the y axis, the same basic principle, likely even simpler and more accurate, preventing problems with clothing, you could probably reach a pretty high degree of accuracy. I don't know how tinder works, so it may not be able to stop from sending you blacks, but it could at least be set to auto-swipe left. No, I'm guessing it could definitely be done without you ever having to see it.
Find a good White supremacist board and pitch this idea. Possibly one of the chans, but there's so much activity you'd really need to strategize, learn what the best times for posting, the best methods for drawing attention, "marketing strategy"/engaging your audience are. Or you could just post something something decent and half-assed and keep reposting it at intervals until it sticks.
The ensuing shitstorm, if it became "viral" and the right/news sources caught wind of it would be one hell of a hoot. Of course they'd patch it, but they almost never end the cat and mouse game that ensues.Some Greek dude from Longecity who will send you a fucking pound in a clear bag.
He's telling me the dude's the best but I dunno, maine.
This is the best method, although superficially it may not seem as such, and is the standard among darknet vendors for suitably small amounts. Standard letters receive far far less scrutiny. It's a numbers game, there's such an insane amount of mail being process every day that the odds of it being intercepted are minute, although some countries, Germany possibly being one of them (Nordic region and Australia are the worst IIRC), particularly if it's being shipped within the country.
Just look at this: http://www.investors.com/politics/editorials/tsa-has-made-airport-security-worse-than-private-system/
Our Transportation Security Administration (TSA), which was created as a response to 9/11 and terrorism in general to increase security at airports and spends 7 billion annually, had a 96% failure rate for guns and explosives(not actually fully built explosives, to the point where they could actually blow up, but irrelevant due to still having the same characteristics that should have triggered identification).
Do you really think tiny flat letters, which would require and absurd number of employees visually analyzing scan after scan for countless hours of drudgery every day, each appearing on screen for a minute moment, being bored out of their mind and invariable constantly zoning out to the point where they're spending more time daydreaming or not even being really aware of what they're seeing, this effect becoming worse the longer they remain, which I guarantee wouldn't take long to hit a peak, the turnover rate likely being enormous because this is the kind of job you find a replacement for ASAP, preventing what would ideally lead to an improvement in the skills they're tasked at (because people can't be expected to function like machines!) and spotting this, or being put through automated equipment, that could differentiate and flag a flat bag of white powder between two sheets of paper thick enough to make it visually and tactilely inconspicuous, with no detectable scent either in electronic systems or from police dogs?
What do you think would be better? The stupid standard trick sending it in a box, filling something hollow? Do you know how old that trick is? Do you think it isn't one of the easiest ones to catch due to how often idiots try it? Not to mention the needless cost it would add from shipping, packaging, and time.
RisiR, you have to learn the game better, think things through. Do you ever remember being a child and having a feeling that whenever you did something "wrong" or illegal, or wanted to but didn't out of fear, the police would somehow know and appear out of nowhere and arrest/punish you? Then you gained a better grasp on reality and realized how absurd that was. Sometime later maybe you were paranoid the first time you bought some type of drug, then you developed more, analyzed it, and realized that the police have limited resources and much higher priorities, such as actual serious crime, and it followed that the likelihood of an undercover selling you drugs was so small that it was ridiculous to even worry about it and then it just became an event that felt about the same as having pizza delivered (or picking it up, whatever's more common in your country); not to mention that even if the infinitesimally unlikely event were to occur, likely due to your own error/stupidity, the penalties from your legal system would be a slap on the wrist, and even prison being a complete joke, practically a vacation compared to what it's like in the USA, maybe being grounded from your reference point.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/60-minutes-germany-prisons-crime-and-punishment/
This is your ultimate fear? A playstation, television, they forgot to mention even a phone in your cell, which you have your own key to, multiple hobbies/recreational activities, even weekend leave if you can avoid the simple task of acting like an animal?
Considering you've never actually been there, and the people you've associated likely haven't either or lied to seem "tough", like they had "street cred", or just being absolute whiny pussies who bitched to make it seem they actually endured something that took strength, hardened them, did you base your views on what you'd heard on "the street", maybe even the lies they tell you into being good little boys, possibly in school or meetings required due to probation? Or are you simply a kleines Mädchen, das Blumen in ihrem Bart trägt, considering how much you whine and try to hide your tears.
"A big gorilla with a red beard that scares women." I guarantee you that if you we ever met I would be the first person to show absolutely no fear in their eyes when I stared into your's, not out of contempt, but because I see through people and I know that inside you have so little will that even if I did the worst thing that would anger you you would have no real strength that would give me the least bit of worry. -
2016-07-02 at 9:04 PM UTCGoddamn flmodafinil/parnate combo. I have got to stop doing to excess, especially when I'm sleep deprived.
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2016-07-02 at 11:40 PM UTCDid you just talk up to me you dickless little shit? What the fuck is wrong with you? I
I have LIVED the street life for 26 years now. I know more about the game than you can ever read about it because motherfucker THE STREETS is something that happens on THE STREET and not in a fucking book or reddit post.
You seem to rely on me to get your big drug ring going. That alone shows what a joke you are. Fuck you.
I have always been a friend and encouraged you to get in contact with your family and been on your side since the first time we met and you spit on me? Totally disrespectful.
PS: Your fear would be irrelevant because no emotion be it fear or anything else could help your little beaner ass if I wanted to maul you. I'd pick you up and crush your spine within 5 seconds you inexperienced wannabe ninja.
​Fuck you. -
2016-07-02 at 11:44 PM UTCReally man. Fuck you.
I'm done with you. You are dead to me. Congrats. -
2016-07-03 at 6:20 AM UTCThis is exactly what happened with PoC. Why am I more easily and deeply wounder IRL than anyone, yet cold and thick skinned online?
You should see how I responded to Hydro's email. If she commits suicide, it may have been because of me, but at least he will be in a far better situation. If she dies, it would only be the price of the greatest sin you can commit, the creation of sentient life. -
2016-07-03 at 6:51 AM UTCBefore sleep:
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2016-07-03 at 7:02 AM UTCAh, one last thing, just a short time ago you reveled in my sadism towards Lanny: http://niggasin.space/forum/spurious-generalities/112222-why-are-perverts-such-fucking-retards#post112525
I wasn't lying about drugs sending my into psychopathic states (It's a spectrum, like autism). Haven't you ever done something ugly, hurtful, that you regretted when you were on drugs. But, really, read it again after you sleep and see it in a different way and you may find how silly it really is. -
2016-07-03 at 7:04 AM UTC
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2016-07-03 at 7:23 AM UTCMalice, have you noticed your rate of typos/spelling mistakes/grammatical errors has taken a sharp upward turn lately? I can't really talk because I make stupid grammar mistakes in like a solid half of the posts I make (I've considered that it's because I like deeply recursive grammatical structures on an aesthetic level and as a product of liking to speak tangentially but lacking the working memory to execute correctly) but you usually have very good construction, even in long posts, but that's changed in the last few I've read. Maybe lay off the parnate a bit
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2016-07-03 at 11:34 AM UTCApologize.
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2016-07-03 at 2:50 PM UTC
Malice, have you noticed your rate of typos/spelling mistakes/grammatical errors has taken a sharp upward turn lately? I can't really talk because I make stupid grammar mistakes in like a solid half of the posts I make (I've considered that it's because I like deeply recursive grammatical structures on an aesthetic level and as a product of liking to speak tangentially but lacking the working memory to execute correctly) but you usually have very good construction, even in long posts, but that's changed in the last few I've read. Maybe lay off the parnate a bit
The Lan-man is correct, fam.
Rhymez fo dayz. -
2016-07-03 at 6:26 PM UTCI think he just started drinking alcohol recently. Typing drunk is hard as shit at first.
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2016-07-04 at 12:57 AM UTC
Apologize.
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2016-07-04 at 1:25 AM UTC
Malice, have you noticed your rate of typos/spelling mistakes/grammatical errors has taken a sharp upward turn lately? I can't really talk because I make stupid grammar mistakes in like a solid half of the posts I make (I've considered that it's because I like deeply recursive grammatical structures on an aesthetic level and as a product of liking to speak tangentially but lacking the working memory to execute correctly) but you usually have very good construction, even in long posts, but that's changed in the last few I've read. Maybe lay off the parnate a bit
I think he just started drinking alcohol recently. Typing drunk is hard as shit at first.
Yeah, I did start drinking some time ago. Although it hasn't been non stop, or to particularly excessive levels, just tipsy. I've even mixed it with benzos, a blue microscoop of etizolam, which is enough to eventually make me pass out (It's happened before). This is considered dangerous and can kill you due to the possibility of asphyxiating on your own vomit, although I do naturally sleep on my left side, having a very strong preference for it, it having a benefit over the right due to the location of the stomach and path of the esophagus. I bring this up because my actions show a clear pattern of valuing my life less, although also being willing to risk more for a chance to live/function, along with the cascade of effects stemming for an ingrained estimation/realization/acceptance that your life expectancy is likely going to be much shorter than you would have hoped. Although, even if I genuinely don't want to live, and I may be one of the few who doesn't to stop the pain (http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/200381-the-so-called-psychotically-depressed-person-who-tries-to-kill-herself), which is chronic, but relatively mild, I genuinely don't even truly want happiness anymore and could see myself, or would hope, that I would still end my life if I saw a rational reason for it in that emotional state, but recognize that it would allow an overall more optimal functioning, greatly increase the likelihood of attaining my ultimate goal, that I've taken this to such an extreme that my worldview/thoughts may have become more distorted than they would be from emotions and the exogenous corruption of other people, and that I would have a greater capacity to grapple with the ideas, the concepts, I've been struggling with, greater mental resilience, greater cognitive functioning allowing me to aggregate and analyze more pertinent data.
Also, I think Chrome's spelling editor broke and I never got around to fixing it or finding a replacement.
Oh, I've also skipped sleep a number of times and I've posted about why I suspect it affects me far more (2, 3 times the normal rate?) than the general population due to being on the autism spectrum.
#2 is particlrly (Wrote that on porpoise. Just kidding, purpose.), oh, it seems to be working again, nevermind.
But, no, I wake up feeling severely depressed and ruminating on the various reasons I'm most likely doing to die. It's not optimal, it is an amphetamine derivative and the effect on norepinephrine is too strong for my likely (Particularly after my mental breakdown/depersonalization-derealization I noticed a distinct change in how actual amph affected me, a feeling that I estimate vaguely around the schizo(mimetic)//psychosis range. Actually, at first I thought I had been sent a fake/cut batch from a vendor, and misunderstood how to do an acetone wash, which convinced me (No, I don't think it was paranoia or some acute episode of mental illness, I literally thought the opposite was supposed to occur, the amph dissolving in acetone and leaving impurities behind, not the other way around. I quickly accepted my mistake, though, when I took a dose high enough to send my resting heart rate to 140bps (It won't kill you, I know what I'm doing.), in case it was cut, and realized that due it clearly having some effect, yet unlikely being ephedrine or something, the problem was likely on my end (like talking to a robot, aye?).
Last time I was taking it rectally to bypass the GI tract and need for diet, found paper on metabolism that suggested hepatic wasn't important as with Nardil (some drugs are converted into active or more optimal forms, or have beneficial metabolites). This gave me terrible anxiety, likely, at least in part, due to the much quicker uptake, along with making me more dysfunctional.
There's a generalized fear associated with autism, at least some kinds, that's distinctly different from standard types that can be helped by therapy, something like a phobia. One of the principle differences in the spectrum had been an enlarged and overactive amygdala. Temple Grandin, famous for being autistic and being given a very poor diagnosis at a young age, then going on to earn a PhD, focusing on the betterment of the state of farm (Including CAFOs), who stated an affinity toward animals and non-verbal thinking style enabled her to make novel advancements, also stated that the primary emotion felt by autistics is fear. Fuck her opinion and generalization, name dropping is only effective in communication due to signaling, transaction costs for information, hierarchical behavior, cognitive biases etc. My point is that it's much more primal and animalistic, like an animal feeling a general fear when they've strayed from the herd. Or something I mentioned before, a Ted Talk (hate them, only look them up for specific people sometimes, a talk at Google usually being better) where Cacioppo, who wrote Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, described a mouse/rat study on the effects of social isolation and what may have been a standard animal model of (a specific type of) anxiety test, where the isolated rats spent far less time wandering into the open center of a container, akin to how in the wild open areas are more dangerous, from prey, ground, or air. Either a general increase in anxiety or at least the rational evolutionary behavior or herding due to it being a numbers game, one hawk (predator), one prey (mouse), the more you're with the less the chance the dicehead will land with your image on it. Biological reality is quite ugly, isn't it?
Orally, it's much better, although, of course, I can't know how much is due to possible changes since that period. Spread out throughout the day as much as possible is best.
I'm also taking pyrazolam, which is quite good. There are novel anxiolytics in the pipeline, but my view has changed and I don't have much hope for them. It's kind of funny, I associate it with MAOIs. Literal decades have passed and now it turns out, and I'm quite confident in my opinion, that it's back to basics that's the optimal path, and by a wide margin. You may not need to move past benzos to avoid the problems, you just need selectivity.
Oh, one more thing, when I get tipsy I easily develop double vision and literally need to keep one eye closed to be able to type, and that comes at the cost of depth perception.
But, yes, I should avoid a dose too high, even if it's more "effective". Just enough to keep me alive.
God I have a seething hatred of the psychiatric system. Everyone knows how fucked up the health system is, focusing on physiological ailments, but meds are part of pharma. The general rule is that the mainstream is always wrong or highly inaccurate, regardless of general alignment with left or right, and this is the case here too. I'm extremely pro-drug, but the lobbying/legislation passed to gain an advantage via the power of political authority, intellectual property, prices (not so much an issue for me), institutional biases (There was a quote someone used about outdated theories that should have been dismissed long ago despite all the evidence. Something along the lines of "Progress is only made when the old die." Those at the top of the hierarchy, even in academic institutions). All this greatly slowing down advancement.
On a personal level, Haidt's study on political ideology and correlates with personality variables, which includes (right)libertarians, the video of the lecture given at the Cato institute being quite good (My favorite part was the audiences laughter at one of the questions libertarians scored particularly high on "Contradicting others makes me feel stimulated."), includes that libertarians in general score the highest on measures of logic and reasoning, lowest on measures of emotion, except when it came to infringements on their personal liberty. I have a seething hatred of dealing with psychiatrists and all the issues of human messiness, and unfortunately the assortative mixing among professions, they tend to be among the people that I dislike/clash with the most for a variety of reasons, and they damn well deserve it.
Anyway, I'm trying to get Nardil as soon as possible. Did some new research further proving it is the Lord's drug, which I plan to make a thread on. I was trying to source some from China, but, fuck, no one fucking sells it, and it's a relatively simple synth if done properly. If you can avoid random explosions (Ceretropic's lab had this problem when scaling up and I found a potential cause, didn't check back on how their lab responded.) I'm getting it by any means necessary.
Atypical of aspies (possibly, actually looked up some relevant papers to see if this is even true, or to what extent the deficiency is (I'd particularly like to see how it correlates with IQ/general intelligence)), I have extremely good theory of mind, but I've speculated before on whether I'm simply compensating through raw analytical ability. IIRC scans done on those with early intensive and high quality intervention later on in their life showed that their neurological activity/patterns were the same as aspies/high functioning autistics, they were just compensating to the point where they may have no longer met the diagnosis, performed on par with neurotypicals. Then there's the aspect on never having focused on highly specific unpragmatic subjects, like the stereotypical train schedule shit, or having been a mono-maniac (maybe intermittently, flitting between subjects once I felt satisfied.), which could have been due to ADD traits, but the central subject of my rumination and reading largely having been on humans and human society, systemizing humanity, the most complex system of all. For psychological well being, I don't believe this ended well (ignorance > bliss). Body language, differences in visual acuity and contrast, and peripheral vision, being beneficial here, is similar.
Point being, I adapt extremely quickly and notice things instantly, their general perception of me, why they make a choice, lies, and likely future events.
I've decided to abandon my current psych and request to be transferred to another, hopefully being able to receive another 45 minute initial session. I specifically want her due to the reviews I found of patients being overwhelmingly negative, focusing almost entirely on them feeling she was cold, uncaring, and detached, which is exactly what I want and with the right the right introductory speech, which is genuine, could form an affinity. There are also other mistakes I made that are easy to remedy. Dress well, wear clear lens glasses, bring a cane (good looking/unique one) items like this are an excellent ice breaker and make up to some extent for the perceived lack of personality/charisma, which is accurate, and practice a limp, to make up for the handicap of invisible disabilities and evoke sympathy, make the symptoms/disorders and severity much easier to accept.
Hopefully I'm on the path to Keyser Söze. I admire the men who can kill and live with it for the rest of their lives without a problem, particularly if they aren't true psychopaths, were even well within the range of normality to begin with, but have or developed the mental resilience. Right now I'm weak, wasting. -
2016-07-04 at 2:11 AM UTCOk you piece of shit. You had your chance.
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2016-07-04 at 4:03 AM UTCOh, and I would also lie about having been aiming for a degree in neuroscience or pharmacology before breaking down from trying make it completely alone or some traumatic event triggering it.
RisiR, I did apologize in the "Friends becoming foes" thread. But what you ultimately fail to realize is the importance of my intention to hurt you, which I had none. It's like s shit talking competition between friends, except we're on the internet where people tend to be desensitized, shielded by anonymity and lack of physical danger, and aren't affected by seeing each other face to face and communicating in real time, which would alert them to the pain they may be causing.
I hate emotions, I hate dealing with people and their emotions, but, fuck it, unless you radically alter a human genome and turn it into life, or merge with machines, suppressing/erasing doesn't work. We evolved them for a reason, your brain goes ballistic.
One of my findings:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5-HT2A_receptor
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5-HT2C_receptor#Function
Nardil is sanity promoting. The more I've read, the more I've realized I was never really in control.
I do apologize for everything I posted, I have to stop doing this, stop it from becoming a habit, as close to the manifestation of the behavior as possible. Now I'm going to sedate myself and stop posting for today.
