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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2016-07-07 at 1:01 AM UTC
https://youtu.be/-fu7jN2_2pE?t=2m59s
Incredible. 34 years later and it's still my favorite film.The struggle with Roy's humanity and mortality, what it means to be a human being. "More human than human."
A prophecy if I make it through this winter (I have 3 months until seasonal affective disorder could push me to suicide, it feels different this time. I thought I I had more time.) and recover:
"Fiery the angels rose, and as they rose deep thunder roll'd / Around their shores: indignant burning with the fires of Orc."
Look deeper, beneath every act, even between the acts seen as the kindest, the beauty of humanity; and you'll find the exact opposite. I want to show humanity what it really is. It feels there are still things to do, that only I may/will be able to do, or rather, simply will, by mere probability. I never want to reach this level of weakness again. I'll show you who what a real monster is from your perspective. -
2016-07-07 at 2:18 AM UTCBefore that:
I like deeply recursive grammatical structures on an aesthetic level and as a product of liking to speak tangentially
Have you noticed I display this quality to a much stronger extent. Autism. What's insulting about that? I believe it's wrong, or, rather, since of course there's variation among autistics, that it the conscious existence can be, or become, so inhumane, wrong, capable of evoking such suffering, that it should be eradicated. Even data of the percentage of autistics who claim to be happy is not useful due to difficulty in identifying one's emotions being a key trait, and the difficulty of interpersonal comparisons. I've thought of writing an amateur paper titled Autism: The Disease of Suffering, explaining the neurological divergences found and how they directly and indirectly lead to some of the worse comorbidities found, for depression and suicide, particularly when controlling for other factors and demonstrating the lack of realism of this being remedied by societal changes, needing to change the human genome for this occur or engage in mass utopian ideals (Data from Sweden paints a very bleak picture.) The only realistic remedy being far higher rates of identification at an early age, and the most effective therapy, which, amusingly in a way, teaches them to behave the least autistically as possible.
Although they may hold the key to some of the most valuable genes: http://www.scottbarrykaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Ruthsatz-Urbach-2012.pdf
Child prodigy: A novel cognitive profile places elevated general intelligence, exceptional working memory and attention to detail at the root of prodigiousnessWhat was consistently extraordinary, however, was the child prodigies' working memory scores—a category in which every prodigy tested in the 99th percentile. Additional results suggest a previously unknown connection between child prodigies and autism. The prodigies' family histories yielded an unlikely number of autistic relatives. And the child prodigies received elevated AQ scores with respect to attention to detail, a trait associated with autism. The prodigies did not, however, display many of the other traits typically associated with autism. This result raises the possibility of a moderated autism that actually enables the prodigies' extraordinary talent.
Hmm, working memory... http://i.imgur.com/xe2i6Mi.jpg?1
This may not be quite it, though. Could lead to it, could be a different domain. I have a feeling it's the latter, unfortunately. We may soon see the emergence of the legendary PL-8-147, which I do intend to experiment with, or encourage an optimal subject to, but the problem would still remain, and it's temporary, not a permanent change.
Lanny, you said speaking to me was like speaking to a robot. Here are a few things you might find interesting.
Do androids dream of electric sheep?
We don't dream at all. It's likely related mainly to acetylcholine, but the brain is so complex you can rarely study anything sufficiently to be confident. I don't think I've ever had a particularly memorable or meaningful dream in my life. And I've rarely remembered any type. When I do dream, I don't like it, because it makes me feel less well rested (deep sleep is deeper) and less mentally stable for a time, akin to grogginess and a clear head. The only pleasant dreams are from low doses of bacopa (anxiolytic, acetylcholinergic, and anti-psychotic effects), but I'd still rather not dream at all. It's supposed to be crucial for some functions, but I'd at least prefer not to remember it and for sleep to be more like a power button being pressed on and off.
I also don't have memories of my life the way normal people do. I recall long ago specifically deciding not to store them because I saw them as a waste of "storage space" shadows of past experience. I don't I have a single one I really value or that it would make much difference if they were all wiped, I'd still have ingrained routines, patterns, mental architecture. They just don't mean anything to me./mu/ circa 2013 was pretty entertaining, sharethreads had good content and genre generals had actual discussion, or at least sufficiently humorous shitposting. Everyone called it shit for being a hipster board which is exactly what turned it into an actual shit board.
Looking through your posts, I came across this, and related, while looking for classical music to listen to in the background, drown out intrusive thoughts, I came across this:
There was only one copy left that I could find, and it was incomplete, because the person had only gone up to the 100 item limit per playlist; and was also on spotify, which would only allow a download of 160kbps. I decided to finish it, because it seemed surprisingly good. Then learned that there was a site where you could transfer the playlists to Deezer, the premium version being free for seven days if you download the android app, and download it. If someone wanted, they could create an archive with lossless quality. Unfortunately I entered another recurrent cycle of dysfunction. -
2016-07-07 at 4:23 AM UTCI wonder if Malice's autism is "working" as in, in a situation, could he use his recall abilities to remember the internet information he's attained and put it into practical means, on instinct.
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2016-07-07 at 5:36 AM UTC“You know that Voight-Kampff test of yours. Did you ever take that test yourself? (silence) Deckard? (he fell asleep)" What are you afraid of Lanny? Have you come to understand autism well enough for it to frighten you? You know it won’t change anything. Intellectual cowards are the worst of all. People afraid of ideas, knowledge, thoughts inside the privacy of their own minds. I don’t respect those who choose not to know a diagnosis. With knowledge you can attempt to ameliorate it if you find it/certain aspects a problem. Then again, I know all too well the human mind has its limitations and flaws. Especially if there was no cure now or in the near future. Also, a worrying note. I’ve become extremely desensitized to physical pain. My endogenous opiod system must be in overdrive. IIRC there may be a tie to severe depression. Possibly psychological pain having a similar basis (I’ve experienced this myself, the striking similarity it can have.) Regions of the brain involved in processing pain, possibly alteration, dysregulation, other chemicals involved in signaling. Not a good sign, it was brought to mind by the scene with Batty driving a nail through his hand to prolong his lifespan. The third major factor in suicide risk is desensitization to self harm, which I’ve never engaged in. Unfortunately if you don’t feel anything from physical harm it becomes much easier. Also related to autism and the sensory flood. Desensitize and withdraw. What a hell, without my extreme lack of positive reference points I wonder if this would seem like an absolute hell, which I’ve already described it as.
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2016-07-07 at 5:41 AM UTCYou sure say a lot about yourself Malice.
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2016-07-07 at 6:26 AM UTCIIRC those in solitary confinement or something of that nature, maybe just isolated people, referred to themselves/used the word “I†around 10-15 times as normal. Not surprising if know no on else to talk about.
Besides, I’m just so fascinating ro the type that aren’t enthralled by daytime television. This could one day be a very important ddoxument by agencies and the curious.
I was actally atttempting to find methods to inflict high levels without causing physical damage because I felt it might be therapeutic, distract (It reminds me of a scene from House, over 8 years ago, where he enacts blunt forcr trauma to his hand in order to distract from the pain of his leg, possibly when going through withdrawals from vicodin, IIRC).
I the technique once before when I was sleep deprived and wanted to increase wakefulness. Self-flagelation with a leather belt, full force. Every part except genitals. Then tried the metal buckle, possibly cords as well. It didn’t work. -
2016-07-07 at 7:53 AM UTCAh, I love piracy. Free premium modded android app and the firsr thiing I choose to view is Cardcapter Sakura befoe pasding out. Not time to research other choices, but something calming and from the past.
There was another app, didn’t seem well known, anime mobile apk but wouldn’t you know it, it seems to have gone down yesterday, being illegal after all. Hopefully it’s temporary, main complain about cruncy seems to be cencorship due to receiving the broadcasdt versions, uncensored being shown on high quality channels or blu-ray. May only effect new releases. Usually multiple ways to solve a problem. -
2016-07-07 at 10:59 AM UTCI can't post threads sooo...
Looks like I'll leave for a while. I'm going to sign contracts at my new job on saturday (fucking business world) as a sales assistant manager at a furniture store. Interesting.
I'll probably start on monday or next week and until then I'm going to watch football and enjoy summer instead of crippling weak minds for fun. That's time better spent differently. Haha.
Anyway... See you next time when I lose my shit or get fired or whatever. -
2016-07-07 at 11:36 AM UTCY'know what's weird? UM and/or Crazymike always pop up when I'm about to leave and vice versa. Are you guys planning this?
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2016-07-07 at 11:59 AM UTCSince you're leaving, we'll part with this:
I need to take a shit so badly, been busting all day. But if I wait further maybe it'll be really big. I might fap too, coz it's pushing against my prostate and makin' me horny as fuck. -
2016-07-07 at 4:26 PM UTCI'll be around but not as frequent. Timezone n shit.
You sound like my lost twin with that turd in your ass. Maybe all people are the same in the end.
<3 -
2016-07-07 at 8:11 PM UTC
. I'll show you who what a real monster is from your perspective.
3spooky5me -
2016-07-07 at 9:46 PM UTC8====D
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2016-07-07 at 10:32 PM UTC
I wonder if Malice's autism is "working" as in, in a situation, could he use his recall abilities to remember the internet information he's attained and put it into practical means, on instinct.
No, it's...complicated. There's wide variation. It can, but you need the right combination of traits, or at least be able to successfully modify yourself (e.g anxiety-benzo, ADD/concentration-methylphenidate or amphetamine family). Then there's environment, early diagnosis and right intervention. Without it you can get quite a hell and an equivalent mess to go along with it.
I'm also suspecting that there's a need for something, possibly general intelligence, working memory, emotional resilience, or a properly function hedonic system, something to drive you, in order to be able to handle all the stored data and connections, the extreme systemizing cognitive style. Otherwise you just sort of...fall apart. You need to be able to consume the data you need and develop answers, and this can be stunted for numerous reasons. -
2016-07-07 at 10:54 PM UTC
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2016-07-07 at 11:02 PM UTCI wish I never made this thread.
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2016-07-07 at 11:17 PM UTChttps://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/comments/4rmfu3/personal_review_of_semiautomatic_capsule_fillers/
Oh, I didn't know these existed. Damn that's convenient. Price isn't bad either, especially compared to what seems to be the original. Lower quality, but for personal use, it likely won't matter, as other versions are meant for much more extensive usage.
End of the video reminded me of this:
I want that. -
2016-07-08 at 3:03 AM UTCAh, Lanny, let me bug you for a moment on an old subject. You may find this amusing:
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article/figure/image?size=large&id=info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0042366.t003
Study: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0042366Six moral dilemmas adapted from Greene et. al. [24] were given to each participant. Each dilemma required a choice about whether to take an action to save multiple individuals at the cost of a single individual's life. Each dilemma was modified so that there was one more aversive version (e.g. “push this stranger off the bridge and onto the tracks below, where his large body will stop the trolley†– called “personal†in Greene et. al., [24]) and one less aversive version (e.g. “hit the switch, which will cause the trolley to proceed to the rightâ€). Participants were randomly assigned to receive one version of each dilemma; each participant received three aversive and three less aversive dilemmas. Below the dilemma text was the question “Is it morally appropriate for you to [do action] in order to [prevent some other danger]?†with a dichotomous No/Yes response option. These questions were followed by the question “How certain are you about your answer?†with a 7-point response scale from “extremely uncertain†to “extremely certain.†Participants' responses to the 12 dichotomous choice questions were weighted by certainty and then averaged, with higher scores indicating greater willingness to make utilitarian sacrifices. The measure was completed by 4,629 participants (2,615 men; 2,690 liberals, 765 conservatives, and 616 libertarians).
Results.
Table 3 shows that libertarians were moderately more utilitarian than conservatives, and slightly more utilitarian than liberals (also see Figure 4). Their judgments were more utilitarian in both the more aversive and less aversive scenarios.
Interpretation.
The results from these moral dilemmas, which are devoid of political content, indicate that libertarians are indeed more capable of “rational ethics†where costs and benefits are weighed according to utilitarian principles. Given the body of evidence suggesting that utilitarian judgments in these dilemmas are more likely to be reached via “cold†calculation, and that deontological (rights-based) judgments are more likely to be reached via “hot†affective processes (e.g., [24], [65]), our results suggests that libertarians are particularly unemotional in their moral deliberations.
Kind of amusing.
So are the other significant divergences. The only one that isn't explained is impersonal/less aversive: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103109000262
There are other charts. This would make for a god thread and discussion someplace just to start a shitstorm. The differing interpretations would be the funniest aspect, each side attempting to argue why they were superior. -
2016-07-08 at 3:10 AM UTCI also need to stop drinking. The anxiolysis leaves much to be desired, the other positive qualities being slight dissociation, dumbing down, and lowering of thought/thought deceleration - keeping out intrusive thoughts.
It's short lasting, messes with my gut, and the rebound far outweighs any momentary benefit. It clearly fucks up my GABAergic system, seeing how quickly effects the dozes I need of benzos. I've also noticed that when taken with flmodafinil, which is pro-glutamatergic, there already being an imbalance and high comorbodity with epilepsy, there's a distinct feeling that I'm nearing that zone, although I'm certainly not drinking anywhere near to blackout.
Well, it wasn't that good anyway. At least I decided to abandon it faster than cannabis. -
2016-07-08 at 7:37 AM UTC
I also need to stop drinking. The anxiolysis leaves much to be desired, the other positive qualities being slight dissociation, dumbing down, and lowering of thought/thought deceleration - keeping out intrusive thoughts.
It's short lasting, messes with my gut, and the rebound far outweighs any momentary benefit. It clearly fucks up my GABAergic system, seeing how quickly effects the dozes I need of benzos. I've also noticed that when taken with flmodafinil, which is pro-glutamatergic, there already being an imbalance and high comorbodity with epilepsy, there's a distinct feeling that I'm nearing that zone, although I'm certainly not drinking anywhere near to blackout.
Well, it wasn't that good anyway. At least I decided to abandon it faster than cannabis.
Good, alcohol is the shittiest drug ever.
