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The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
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2019-12-12 at 1:34 AM UTCdo people actually kill chickens with axes? I thought you were supposed to break their necks
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2019-12-12 at 1:34 AM UTC
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2019-12-12 at 1:35 AM UTC
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2019-12-12 at 1:40 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra do people actually kill chickens with axes? I thought you were supposed to break their necks
If you break its neck, it would just go into convulsions on the ground and drag itself around for an hour, but it wouldn't die. Chickens are a lot tougher than people might guess. They want to live very badly. They're real survivors. -
2019-12-12 at 1:47 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL It's a lot harder than it looks to kill a chicken by hand. What I'd do is wrap a towel around it, to make it easier to hold onto. Because once you pick up the chicken, it knows right away what's happening and it starts clawing and pecking and scrabbling for purchase, its body tightens up like wood, and it starts squirming powerfully like a cat to get out of the hold. You have to hold the axe with one hand, so you have to control all this fighting back with just one arm and try and pin its head onto the wood block at the same time. Not easy to do at all.
I can immediately tell you have never done this. You're supposed to dislocate the skull from the spine when you aren't hanging. You don't just chop it live, they move way too much for that shit. You wait until it stops moving. And if at any point it's able to peck you, you are doing it wrong. -
2019-12-12 at 1:49 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra do people actually kill chickens with axes? I thought you were supposed to break their necks
Yes that's what you do. It flops around for like a minute and then goes limp. It loses the feeling the second you disconnect the spine. I can't even visualize how the fuck SpectraL is saying he did it by himself while the chicken was still alive. It's just cartoonish thinking of him trying to lay it down on the chopping block while it's flapping everywhere.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-12-12 at 1:50 AM UTCKillin chicken nugger niggers
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2019-12-12 at 1:51 AM UTCThats why generally you break the neck first. You can use any piece of wood on top of the neck,with the birds body pointing away from you (north) then step on top of the piece of wood with both feet, essentially clamping the bird's windpipe, and then pull it back and towards you. Its the only way I was confident enough t do it bc i didnt want to half ass it and leave it all fucked up and in pain. My great grandma used her little .22 revolver with varmint shells, to the back of the head too.
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2019-12-12 at 1:55 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL If you break its neck, it would just go into convulsions on the ground and drag itself around for an hour, but it wouldn't die. Chickens are a lot tougher than people might guess. They want to live very badly. They're real survivors.
If you separate the birds vertebrae, its not going to be doing anything for an hour. it essentially doesnt have a brain anymore. If you chop, the reason some chickens survive for a while is bc of this
https://modernfarmer.com/2014/08/heres-chicken-can-live-without-head/ -
2019-12-12 at 1:55 AM UTCWhat about flicking it in the head until it has concuddion
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2019-12-12 at 1:56 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER If you separate the birds vertebrae, its not going to be doing anything for an hour. it essentially doesnt have a brain anymore. If you chop, the reason some chickens survive for a while is bc of this
https://modernfarmer.com/2014/08/heres-chicken-can-live-without-head/
tl;dr: if it sees the axe, it can pre-emptively start growing a second head inside its neck -
2019-12-12 at 2:02 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER If you separate the birds vertebrae, its not going to be doing anything for an hour. it essentially doesnt have a brain anymore. If you chop, the reason some chickens survive for a while is bc of this
https://modernfarmer.com/2014/08/heres-chicken-can-live-without-head/
18 months what the fuck -
2019-12-12 at 2:02 AM UTCTrying to get a clean chop on a chikkinhed is hard
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2019-12-12 at 2:14 AM UTC
Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace Yes that's what you do. It flops around for like a minute and then goes limp. It loses the feeling the second you disconnect the spine. I can't even visualize how the fuck SpectraL is saying he did it by himself while the chicken was still alive. It's just cartoonish thinking of him trying to lay it down on the chopping block while it's flapping everywhere.
Spectral used to suplex grizzly bears in the Kmart parking lot, he transcends the physical limitations and laws of nature. -
2019-12-12 at 2:20 AM UTCThis one chicken, I swung and only severed three-quarters of the neck, because its body was squirming and twisting around so much, so its head was just hanging there. And then it started doing its funky chicken routine, the head was just flopping around but didn't come off, and it was running back and forth for a good three minutes. Finally, I had to grab it again and cut the small section that was left and only then it died.
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2019-12-12 at 2:21 AM UTCOopsy I'm lowkey drunk at Micks bar
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2019-12-12 at 2:23 AM UTCIt be like that sometimes
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2019-12-12 at 3:22 AM UTC
What kind of bullshit study is this? Who the hell would find a 25-50 mg dose of doxylamine to be better than 100 mg of Seconal? I take 100 mg of Doxylamine some nights (like tonight) and it doesn't even knock me out, I still have to consciously drag myself to bed and relax myself enough to sleep. -
2019-12-12 at 4:29 AM UTCtake doxepin nigga it'll make you feel terrible, it's great
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2019-12-12 at 4:45 AM UTCUMPEECHED
