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The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
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2019-06-18 at 11:48 AM UTCI told you I ain’t right, you knew it going in
Just shut the fuck up if you wanna be a friend
I don’t want to stretch you more than you extend
I don’t want to spit in the hand that you lend
I did it to myself, I get what I deserve
Thoughts in my head, feel like a raw nerve
I’m lookin' for an answer, I don’t want to hurt but
I just want to sleep when I’m tired of earth -
2019-06-18 at 11:48 AM UTCAnd we STILL don't understand everything that these medications do in the brain, or what permanent changes could occur and (according to anecdotal evidence) do occurThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-06-18 at 11:48 AM UTC
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2019-06-18 at 11:49 AM UTC
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2019-06-18 at 11:49 AM UTCDo you have to feel that edge?
If it’s making you more angry, like you said before, you need to have open dialogue with your doc., so you can find the right thing. -
2019-06-18 at 11:51 AM UTC
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2019-06-18 at 11:51 AM UTC
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2019-06-18 at 11:54 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-06-18 at 11:59 AM UTC
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2019-06-18 at 12:06 PM UTCYeah my friend has been recommending zoloft, and i kinda know i need to be on something, but ive always been afraid of some irreversible changes or the rebound depression from ceasing dosage. If im at a 6-7 everyday on my best day (10 being i pull the trigger), I dont even want to know what id be like withdrawing.
Still...being able to bang forever seems cool.
Not having as much anxiety seems cool
Having more energy seems cool
Not hating everything and everyone and getting easily annoyed to the point i picture myself crushing someones larnyx while theyre in the middle of pretending that they "just cant find" their mailbox key for the 122nd time this year....would be cool.
Idk. Im a wreck. I wish antidepressants took effect more quickly so i could just take it for a week n see how i liked it.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-06-18 at 12:15 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Yeah my friend has been recommending zoloft, and i kinda know i need to be on something, but ive always been afraid of some irreversible changes or the rebound depression from ceasing dosage. If im at a 6-7 everyday on my best day (10 being i pull the trigger), I dont even want to know what id be like withdrawing.
Still…being able to bang forever seems cool.
Not having as much anxiety seems cool
Having more energy seems cool
Not hating everything and everyone and getting easily annoyed to the point i picture myself crushing someones larnyx while theyre in the middle of pretending that they "just cant find" their mailbox key for the 122nd time this year….would be cool.
Idk. Im a wreck. I wish antidepressants took effect more quickly so i could just take it for a week n see how i liked it.
honestly you just need to go sober off the opiates for a long ass time. opiate addicts are full of shit most of the time and don't realize it takes a long time for your brain to get back to normal after being addicted. i wasn't even using that heavily or for nearly as long as you did and i quit in march and just now am starting to feel the depression lift. you probably need like a year. it sucks but that's reality and the time is going to pass regardless -
2019-06-18 at 12:18 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Yeah my friend has been recommending zoloft, and i kinda know i need to be on something, but ive always been afraid of some irreversible changes or the rebound depression from ceasing dosage. If im at a 6-7 everyday on my best day (10 being i pull the trigger), I dont even want to know what id be like withdrawing.
Still…being able to bang forever seems cool.
Not having as much anxiety seems cool
Having more energy seems cool
Not hating everything and everyone and getting easily annoyed to the point i picture myself crushing someones larnyx while theyre in the middle of pretending that they "just cant find" their mailbox key for the 122nd time this year….would be cool.
Idk. Im a wreck. I wish antidepressants took effect more quickly so i could just take it for a week n see how i liked it.
The bolded part is one of my problems. I feel like my meds give me a “fiIlter”, one that I desperately need. This is why writing has always been my best way of communication, I have time to think b4 I put things into words. Without my meds, I’d stab a bitch😂. I kid, I kid.
My other big problem is self degrading “self talk”. I am my own worst enemy. -
2019-06-18 at 12:18 PM UTC
Originally posted by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III honestly you just need to go sober off the opiates for a long ass time. opiate addicts are full of shit most of the time and don't realize it takes a long time for your brain to get back to normal after being addicted. i wasn't even using that heavily or for nearly as long as you did and i quit in march and just now am starting to feel the depression lift. you probably need like a year. it sucks but that's reality and the time is going to pass regardless
Yeah this too. Idk. Ive got some kind of thyroid thing. I know my testosterone is probably super low. Some kind of arthritis is likely since i also seem to have psoriasis. And even being on methadone, methadone keeps your body from repairing its damage. Its hard to know what is the result of what thing. I need to figure out some shit tho. Bc right now im only working 4-6 hours a day, and even that i barely have the energy for and feel fucking awful. -
2019-06-18 at 12:20 PM UTC
Originally posted by aldra yeah, my understanding is SSRIs are only particularly effective on people who experience bipolar-like effects, ie. their emotions are unstable and spike/dip unpredictably - it 'averages' them out and brings them closer to a baseline.
if your main issue is constant depression, SSRIs may potentially help you a little by raising that baseline but it's unlikely to make a significant difference.
SSREs are promising - if you can still get T-PAIN and can trust yourself not to party hard on it, it's worth doing therapeutic doses (check what Russian doctors prescribe, it's used fairly widely there) to see if that helps you out. I don't really know about your specific case so I couldn't say whether therapy, finding goals etc. would help, but that's an obvious option.
I'm in a similar boat; I use tramadol to stop myself from contemplating the next step but it's not an ideal solution and brings its own problems to the party.
Does tramadol really prevent those kind of negative thoughts or at least prevent you from engaging in them?
I take 400mg for pain and would much prefer to NOT have the SNRI, or at least the SSRI moa in it as SSRIs do nothing but give me side effects and a sense of malaise. I've been on several.
I feel like I can kind of distinguish the S from the N because I took a couple of my mom's Cymbalta when I was young and also Straterra for like 3 days and I remember feeling this kind of metallic feeling, as though the inside of me is kind of like tin foil and I conduct heat differently. Which is interesting, because I also seem to be cold all the time now and sometimes shiver inappropriately in the summer (although it's been low 70's).
I find that it doesn't do anything to reduce negative thoughts or help me disengage from them, if anything I have a harder time getting out of them from lower motivation and that kind of anhedonic stare at the wall thing that juicebox mentioned, but I had of plenty of that before. I feel like I don't feel anything as strongly anymore, including negative feelings though, which seems to be how these things affect me, but coupled with the malaise it would be generally unhelpful, but the pain relief and antianxiety kick I get from the opioid makes it worth it. -
2019-06-18 at 12:21 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Yeah this too. Idk. Ive got some kind of thyroid thing. I know my testosterone is probably super low. Some kind of arthritis is likely since i also seem to have psoriasis. And even being on methadone, methadone keeps your body from repairing its damage. Its hard to know what is the result of what thing. I need to figure out some shit tho. Bc right now im only working 4-6 hours a day, and even that i barely have the energy for and feel fucking awful.
Not gonna say a word🤐. You know my feelings on this.
Well, I had to say something lol -
2019-06-18 at 12:25 PM UTCI do indeed. lol. If i could squeeze some blood into a ziploc bag and mail it off, id do it right now. I still have to call and see what POS far off doctor medi-cal stuck me with now. Just dont wanna deal with it right now. Even the few things i have to do every day feel like way too much.
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2019-06-18 at 12:29 PM UTCGood mental health + good physical health = All around well being.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Don’t know how achievable all that is, but it’s a good thought. -
2019-06-18 at 12:32 PM UTC
Originally posted by Jυicebox can't drink on it either
Wives' tale.
Playing the SSRI carousel for months if not years is maddening because they pretend that it takes months for them to work and that if three don't work, the 4th one might. Depression is fickle, and people get better on their own for other reasons sometimes, and the placebo effect is enough to make people report that they feel at least slightly better. Approximately 30% of the time.
I would tell them that you're allergic to them or they that they make you feel so awful that you can't bear to be on them any longer. You don't have to explicitly say that you feel suicidal if you don't want to. -
2019-06-18 at 12:36 PM UTCHave to somehow drag ass into work. Need to call my sponsor. Need to do my stepwork. Need to call Tmobile at 9am to find out out why their shit is fucked up (since they couldnt tell me at 3 or 4 am). Need to package and ship my ebay sales. Need to go to the methadone clinic and dose/ do my counselling appointment for 80 min. Need to call pastor friend and see if they can accomodate a last minute memorial service and when. Need to try to figure out what kind of service we can put on with a piddly $1850 since no one gives a fuck about you when youre alive and even less seem to care when youre dead. Need to meet with detectives to give them what information people have told me, and then help his mom try to get into his phone/computers and then start selling off the little stuff he hadnt pawned so maybe they can make the rent next month (since they were all putting together their SSI checks).
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2019-06-18 at 12:36 PM UTCAnd thats not even much stuff comapred to normal people daily lives. Idk how ill ever be a normie.
