The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition

2019-05-07 at 2:28 PM UTC

#2701

Common De-mominator African Astronaut

Casper teach your mom to drive Uber and other gig economy shit, they literally don't give a fuck who signs up as long as they do a good job.

2019-05-07 at 2:31 PM UTC

#2702

Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]

Casper you should bait your mom by leaving delicious Starbucks coffees in the fridge and see if she falls into your trap

2019-05-07 at 2:59 PM UTC

#2703

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Originally posted by Solstice Casper, teach your mom how to sell antiques. There's no age discrimination there.

She wouldnt help.

Although since i started an ebay store and made a few hundred bucks already, ive got her to go garage saleing with me a couple times. I will give it to her- the hustle i definitely got from her. Right now she spends all day making shit for etsy orders, and she gets mad when i point out the fact that she would probably make more panhandling. Then she says "Its paying for the roof over your head isnt it?" and I say "No...thats your savings account. If i spend 12 hours a day collecting cans and I get $20 bucks for it, does it mean im lazy? No. Is it a wise investment of my energy and resources? No."

And then she stomps off and slams a door and we dont talk for a couple days. Its cool shes staying busy, but objectively, thats all it is. I told her i could put some of her products on ebay and stuff or start a legit website so Google can start referencing her store, but shes convinced Etsy is the premiere site for people who want upscale handmade things. I tell her its the premiere site for people who want to buy shit some wiccan made with dental floss and beads from the Goodwill...and then she stomps off, slams a door and we dont talk for two days.

The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

The Self Taught Man

2019-05-07 at 3:04 PM UTC

#2704

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Originally posted by Common De-mominator Casper teach your mom to drive Uber and other gig economy shit, they literally don't give a fuck who signs up as long as they do a good job.

Her car is a 2004 Highlander. Shes so careful she wont even take it on the freeway anymore. And driving a taxi is beneath her, ofc. Shes not like....snooty...but she just "wont do" a lot of things. Its hard to explain. The first 25 years i was alive, she just "worked from home". 10 of those years after my grandpa died, "work at home" really just meant wake up and work in the garden for a couple of hours and then read books all day. But still.

Originally posted by Sudo Casper you should bait your mom by leaving delicious Starbucks coffees in the fridge and see if she falls into your trap

She doesnt do Starbucks. She says its too sweet and their coffee tastes burnt. Coffee Bean and Pete's are acceptable. Her go-to value choice is Don Francisco. I bought her some pricey hipster shit a couple years ago and im 99% positive its still in a drawer somewhere bc shes "saving it". And she wonders why I keep closets full of old electronics shit. That hoarder gene is 100% her too., lol.

2019-05-07 at 3:08 PM UTC

#2705

Ghost Black Hole

pics of yer mam

2019-05-07 at 3:11 PM UTC

#2706

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

I hardly have pics of me. I have like zero of her. Definitely none of us together. Shes getting old now, and makes me sad. Ill dig up some photos tho. Idk where the photo albums even are anymore.

Thats one of the reasons i started putting photos up online. I realized If i die, theres not even a photo of me to put on one of those shitty remembrance sites.

2019-05-07 at 3:13 PM UTC

#2707

Ghost Black Hole

pictures are so blase

statues are much more fitting to the image of man.

2019-05-07 at 3:31 PM UTC

#2708

aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

Originally posted by Solstice Casper, teach your mom how to sell antiques.

Originally posted by Solstice sell antiques.

"sell antiques"

old lady prostitution

The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

2019-05-07 at 3:36 PM UTC

#2709

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

My mom taught me how to sell the antiquities

2019-05-07 at 3:42 PM UTC

#2710

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

in b4 PI

I know i posted this one before. High school Casper:

2019-05-07 at 3:44 PM UTC

#2711

Ghost Black Hole

Were you the chubby girl in the middle?

2019-05-07 at 3:45 PM UTC

#2712

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Casper at an Angels game hamming it up bc sports are for faggots now let me stand with my had on my hip

2019-05-07 at 3:46 PM UTC

#2713

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Originally posted by Ghost Were you the chubby girl in the middle?

She was actually super cool. Very jediy but very cool. Apparently she really wanted me to ask her to prom. I still feel bad about that. My solution was to not go at all, so that solved that quandary.

2019-05-07 at 3:47 PM UTC

#2714

CASPER Soldier of Fourchin

Me and grandma visiting our house circa 2008 or so