User Controls

So, um, I've had a homeless tweaker passed out on my living room floor for 14 hours now

  1. #41
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Erekshun So you don't really want to get rid of him, good company when he is not puking all over your place?

    Like, he's alright company. And he even just said if at any time I feel overwhelmed by him here, I can tell him to go.

    But it's just kinda hard to do that, ya know?
  2. #42
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    Cook an arm or something. He'll grow one back next full moon.
  3. #43
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by larrylegend8383 Cook an arm or something. He'll grow one back next full moon.

    I'm not falling for that one again. Fool me twice, shame on you. Three times, no way.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #44
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by gadzooks Like, he's alright company. And he even just said if at any time I feel overwhelmed by him here, I can tell him to go.

    But it's just kinda hard to do that, ya know?

    Yes. I had a meth addict stay at my place for a day a little while back . It's sad that I just refer to him as a meth addict. Hes actually a good guy and a person and happens to be addicted to meth. Anyway. I let him stay here but it was just weird and I had to tell him to leave. I basically just said in going to work, you're free to stay here all day and get your shit in order but if you can please be gone by the time I get home I'm having guests over tonight. I wasnt having guests over but it was my way of doing it. I feel bad about it but he understood.
  5. #45
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by gadzooks Like, he's alright company. And he even just said if at any time I feel overwhelmed by him here, I can tell him to go.

    But it's just kinda hard to do that, ya know?

    "yo dude, it's been fun but I'd like some privacy now. You mind leaving?"
  6. #46
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    There was another meth addicted homeless transient I let into my apartment a couple years back, but he was fucking FUCKED in the head. He just finished a 7 year stint and was paranoid as absolute fuck. He'd pace around my apartment with a huge rock in one hand and a hammer in the other, like "did you hear that? Turn off your music for a sec".

    I love my music and hate silence, but I reluctantly comply.

    He then says "I know shes out there. I see the trees rustling. And check this out..." As he leads me to my apartment front door... "Look through the peep hole".

    Me: "I see nobody."

    Him: "the cops are kneeling down right outside your front door man!"

    Then he raises the rock in the air and asks me when I called his ex girlfriend over, and how long the cops have (according to him) been outside, and if I called them.

    It was shit like that for days.

    He did invite this kinda unattractive woman over tho, and when I was drunk and saw her shirtless, I couldn't help but notice the breastses, so I ask "may I?"

    And move in and start suckling like a baby, then we go into my bed and she rides me pretty decent for a bit, and then I just go back to drinking and pass out.

    Next day or day after, he stole my cell phone and wallet, IDs and everything.

    Fucking not all meth addicted homeless schizophrenic tweakers are tolerable. Some are really dicks.
  7. #47
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Then there was Britney the Native gal. Yet another meth addicted homeless tweaker transient I met through my escort roommate while she was living her.

    She would drop by and tap at my rear window, and I would feel bad for her so I'd let her in for the night. She would sometimes offer like a BJ for $20. The thing is, I've never had a strong enough desire for sex to actually pay for it, but when it's that fucking convenient (she was already sitting on my bed, a couple feet away from me).

    I had to say no.

    But I threw her a few bucks change at least.

    One time, during times of greater prosperity in my life, I gave her like $40 (honestly because I kinda wanted her to leave so I could be alone). It was kinda cute tho because she kissed me and said something along the lines of "I think I'm starting to fall for you".

    To this day, I feel like it's just her survival mechanism, but it was kinda cute, not gonna lie.
  8. #48
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    She should've given you a blowjob for letting her stay there. Imagine tapping at someone's window begging for a place to stay and then still asking them for money to suck their dick. I mean I'd just suck it. Thabks for the hospitality.
  9. #49
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    In this thread I reminisce about all the homeless meth addicted vagrants I've given refuge to.

    I think I counted them all (at least, while living in this town).

    There was Lord in Ottawa who gave me his number at the bar and asked if he could spend the night, but when I noticed that I now have a Lord and a Jesus in my phone contacts list (Jesus is my Peruvian friend), I felt schizophrenic myself and just had to bail and re-evaluate my life.
  10. #50
    Jesus Houston
    Originally posted by gadzooks In this thread I reminisce about all the homeless meth addicted vagrants I've given refuge to.

    I think I counted them all (at least, while living in this town).

    There was Lord in Ottawa who gave me his number at the bar and asked if he could spend the night, but when I noticed that I now have a Lord and a Jesus in my phone contacts list (Jesus is my Peruvian friend), I felt schizophrenic myself and just had to bail and re-evaluate my life.

    I'm not Peruvian and I'm not your friend.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. #51
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Oh and Sherri... I wrote a whole huge post on Totse in 07 and it got to be quite the happening thread.

    Her husband told me he was HIV positive so I kinda freaked out. But I fell in love with her because, like I mentioned earlier, I fall in love with damaged women, and faster than you can say "codependency".
  12. #52
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by mmQ She should've given you a blowjob for letting her stay there. Imagine tapping at someone's window begging for a place to stay and then still asking them for money to suck their dick. I mean I'd just suck it. Thabks for the hospitality.

    Basic reciprocity really... But, even though I have zero ethical or political opposition towards prostitution, I just feel too sympathetic for them when they're desperate and destitute.

    You could tell she wasn't a pro. She didn't advertise like my ex roommate did. Sometimes I'd answer her (ex roommate) texts after she'd post an ad. She'd pay me a cut to enhancement through the dick pics and the crazys and the time wasters. I had to flirt like I was her. It was strange.

    I guess technically I might have qualified for true pimp status.
  13. #53
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Jesus I'm not Peruvian and I'm not your friend.

    Don't you have demons to cast out somewhere, friend?
  14. #54
    Ghost Black Hole
    Remember they have to give back half and keep yo pimp hand strong
  15. #55
    Originally posted by gadzooks Like, what do I do?

    Did anyone say "fuck it" yet?
  16. #56
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by gadzooks I lead a life chalk full of crazy adventures and misadventures alike. I could probably write like a dozen novels.

    Fuck, what a cluster fuck (I experience on average at least one cluster fuck in my life per month).

    you and i and some of the other gonts should write a collective about our whimsical adventures in a flash fiction style. call it something like "THE DERPADEW FILES" and then profit?!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. #57
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby you and i and some of the other gonts should write a collective about our whimsical adventures in a flash fiction style. call it something like "THE DERPADEW FILES" and then profit?!

    You can self publish at lulu.com
  18. #58
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Book deals are all the fad these days.
  19. #59
    lantiqua87 Houston [my imperatively healing tajikistan]
    RUN THAT NIGA POCKETA
  20. #60
    Originally posted by A College Professor Put saran wrap on the toilet that way he shits his ass

    This might just be post of the year
Jump to Top